Injection day is Tuesday night for me. By Sunday and especially Monday, I can feel the effects wearing off as early as Saturday. Currently on week 6 on 20mg MJ. I'm not eating anywhere near what I used to pre MJ, but I still feel the difference. I could eat more, but out of habit, I don't, but can't help but wonder if anyone else is experiencing the same?

I have a 2016 GT that went into the shop with working AC. Just had my front facia replaced and when I got it back the AC no longer worked. I asked them about it and they denied any wrongdoing and told me they didn't mess with any AC parts despite when I started the car again both the seat coolers and ac was set to full blast. Thinking they knew something went wrong and were testing it in the process. Wouldn't even tell me which parts I could look at to diagnose the problem. So, does this replacement have anything to do with Amy AC parts and if so, which ones should I look at? I greatly appreciate any advice.

TL;DR: I traded in a 2020 rav4 XLE for a 2023 Subaru Outback touring for the extra legroom and cargo space. The salesman and finance guy were both a delight and it was a great experience.
I bought a CPO 2020 Toyota RAV4 in January 2021. It was an okay experience. The salesman was nice enough, but they did try to sneak the fees in twice (included in the online price, which I knew about, and then tacked on to the OTD price as well). The finance guy really, really pissed me off though, and I’ve always regretted not just walking away. The experience left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Fast forward a couple years, and I now have a toddler and a baby on the way. The rav4 wasn’t working for us because my husband and I are both too tall. I couldn’t sit in the passenger seat comfortably because of the rear facing car seat behind it. Once the new baby is here, we’ll have 2 rear facing car seats… time to upsize!
We knew all we needed was more legroom, not necessarily more seating capacity. I considered the Toyota hybrid highlander, Toyota sienna, Honda odyssey, Honda accord, and Honda pilot. But after reading here and talking to Toyota, we realized the wait for the Highlander and sienna might be more than we were willing to deal with.
So, I broadened my search to include Subarus, and so I had to start a spreadsheet, of course ;). After comparing the combined legroom at all of the aforementioned models and the Subaru outback, we decided on the outback.
We went and test drove a 2023 Subaru Outback touring—which was the trim I specifically wanted because of the nappa leather and ventilated front seats.
We both loved it and it felt like a real upgrade from my rav4. Since they only had three 2023s in that trim, we went ahead and put down a 5k deposit with plans to return the next day (we had to go pick up our daughter).
Our original plan was to pay cash, but we hadn’t moved the money around and it was Memorial Day weekend. The money was in the market, so it wasn’t going to be quick to have the cash in hand. Our sales guy said we could write a check and fill out a finance application as a backup, and they would hold the check until we called to say the money was in the account, or we could just decide to finance. We originally planned on doing the check, but we got approved for a 3.9% interest rate, which is lower than what the money is making in the market currently. We ended up financing.
There was zero pressure, at any point, from the salesman or finance guy. Or, if there was, it was subtle enough lol. I’m sure you all have your methods of persuasion.
We got a $1200 discount off MSRP. I received 28k for my rav4 trade-in (it only had 20k miles and was in excellent condition). Overall, we were thrilled with the car, happy with the price, and happy with everyone we encountered at the dealership.
I just wanted to share my experience because I know there are many who think every car buying experience is as painful as a root canal. But this experience was pretty delightful for me, compared to my experience at Toyota a couple years back (part of me wonders if it went so poorly last time because I was without my husband? But maybe the finance guy just sucked).

I'm not a builder. I'm some shmoe that had 2 duplexes, and sold them, and moved to a much higher priced market just before it became higher priced. I bought a small 700 sq ft 40 year old cottage 2 acres of land, and started building a second 1000 sq ft cabin. I started it 1 year ago.
I couldn't find a general contractor, so I got a general contractor license which is required here. But I'm not a builder. In this past year, I've had neighbors, friends, family, lots of people say they would help. Committed to certain parts of the project. Then literally none of them did anything. I've had construction crews from temporary services, random crews I found on facebook, crews referred to me by other contractors. They all screwed up shit that I will either have to live with or re-do someday. Just poor workmanship. It's passed all the inspections so far, I just have to finsh inside pine and cabinets and flooring. But fuck, I don't have another $20k to pay some one to finish all that. Ohh, but I'm not a builder. I'll do it all myself, but it will be slow, I work full time doing something else.
My wife was one of the family members who said she'd help. To her credit, she has been helping a lot in the last 2 months. But prior to that, for the other 10 months, she didn't do shit other than aggravate. Even now, when she 'helps', she gets so distracted and reluctant, it's like pulling fucking teeth. I explain to her she's working 4 hours out of every day she works 8 hours just to pay for what we're losing by the fucking cabin not being done. But she doesn't seem to get it, or care, or understand. Because she still constantly tells me about shit she wants. New $1k kitchen pan set. Beach vacation. New diamond ring. It really burns my ass it's cost us nearly $18k so far because it's not done, and I get no help. It's like fuck you , but here buy me this and that.
I could just scream. No comments needed, I just wanted to tell someone.

Hi all, a series of events occured. I lent my Phone to someone who has herpes for like 30 seconds and then passed it back to me. I touched where she was holding it.
About 2 mins later, i accidentally used that same hand to adjust my glasses, but did not touch my face, just adjusted the frame.
About another 2 mins later I was sweating while walking and was sweating down my face and my glasses. Eventually, sweat went into my eye and it was stinging for like 10 mins as I did not want to rub my eye as I have not washed them. It eventually stopped and my eye was red for awhile after that.
My question is, could I have transferred the herpes virus from my phone, to my hand, to my glasses frame, and eventually to my eyes after the sweat touched my glasses and went into my eye?
Apologies for the ignorance in this question.
I did read a few posts here with differing views of how the virus can only either last a few seconds outside the body or 48 hours outside the body. Am confused and paranoid, please let me know. Thank you!!

Recently changed to S23U from iPhone 14 pro max. I currently own two different aftermarket wireless carplay/android auto displays. Carplay worked fine with my iPhone but android auto is broken. I can connect but whenever I play music it only plays through the display not through my cars Bluetooth.
Other ppl seem to be able to connect via Android auto fine. It's just me. And I know for a fact that the displays are not faulty.

Ho everyone. Recently i’ve been looking around on the used market looking for a good rwd coupe that i could daily drive, modify and simply enjoy driving. The E82 caught my eye and it’s really starting to grow on me. It has around 170hp, 3 doors 4 seats ,rwd coupe and are pretty cheap. Sounds like what i was looking for. The only things is, a lot of them have around 200.000kms and it scares me a bit in terms of reliability… i know it varies a lot by how the car was kept, but 200.000 kms are still a lot on a car. What should i look for? Eventually, how much would it costs me to rebuild the engine? What parts will be prone to breaking and that i should be replacing asap? Thanks!
P.S: any suggestions of alternatives to this car are welcome, just please remember that it has to have 3doors , coupe , rwd with no more than 200hp (taxes skyrocket after that hp in italy) and under 15.000k (better if are around 10.000k)

So when I been using the YouTube mobile app on Android this bug has been happening to me where the audio will stop then skip forward a few seconds over and over when in the car or with my Bluetooth headphones. I use premium and I have tried everything it's super annoying just curious if anyone has had this issue I've tried messing with resolutions and even clearing the cache but nothing seems to work. Thanks in advance

Hello all, this is my first post here. I'm a truck driver and just recently started a new job. The company had me sitting for nearly 2 weeks so I haven't received a paycheck in that time but I was able to put down some miles over the last few days and I will be getting paid this Friday (6/2) and will be able to repay it back. The money would be going towards groceries to hold me over until the money starts consistently rolling in again. I can provide any verification needed as well.

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of various forms of abuse including SA, mention of suicide in some detail, mention of death
PREFACE
I understand this is the internet and I cannot expect people to have grace or mercy on me for any of this. All I can do is ask that if you’re going to give me your input, that you try and be as kind as possible. My heart is hurting and I really don’t feel I am in a place to hear that I need to entirely -drop- this therapist right now. My background of abuse and trauma will hopefully explain why that is, but I am not ready to let go. I am mostly posting this to vent, but also hoping that if anyone does have any advice that could help me even just in the short term with coping, that it will be gently shared.
BACKGROUND
I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible but there’s a whole lot of history here. I am 27F, and I grew up in an unimaginably abusive home. Sex trafficking, severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from my father and my older brother (very patriarchal family), and a slew of very complicated and scary health issues including a liver disease and cancer. My family set me up to never be able to move out or live independently because they genuinely have viewed me to be their property. The severity of this can hopefully be summed up in just a few example:

• Was never allowed to even get myself a glass of water in the kitchen or learn to cook • Was not potty trained and had to rely on my mom to go to the bathroom into my teenage years • Drinking only from sippy cups until teenage years • Location monitored on my phone • Every credit card transaction / finance watched closely • Could not move away from college 

My brother was allowed and able to do all these things, but I was not. My entire life, teachers and “adults” that were supposed to catch these things did not even bat an eye. They instead placed me in remedial classes and ESL assuming that I just had a learning disability or a language barrier (which I do not). When I told teachers in the past about my abuse, it was handled extremely poorly and no authorities ever got involved. My life felt worthless; meaningless. Like I could scream from the rooftops of my school that I was being abused and no one cared.
This past January, I did the unthinkable. I left my family and got my own apartment. Friends, therapists, coworkers, everyone who remotely knew me has been pushing me to do this for years and I genuinely thought I would die in my situation. I developed severe Stockholm syndrome so a huge part of my lack of leaving was due to my own internal thought patterns. I did it through the help of my current therapist, which is my… fourth? therapist that’s attempted to help. The last ones took advantage of how naive I was and hurt me (one of them has been arrested). This therapist, however, invested everything to get me out. He really wanted to see me free. And I am forever grateful for him.
MY CURRENT THERAPIST & BACKSTORY
I started seeing this therapist early in 2022 when I was still living with my family. I became severely bedridden and could not even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad escorting me. My anxiety and panic were at an all time high. I was on a leave of absence from work, and this therapist was the only reason I had for HAVING to get out of bed and forcing myself to drive, and most days I couldn’t even do that. He was patient, compassionate, and was willing to go to great lengths to help. Though mostly irrelevant, he’s 45M. He got into school for counseling later in life so when I started seeing him, he was just an intern under the director of the practice. At the time, the director of the practice was seeing an old time friend of mine (who happened to recently become my coworker). My friend had gotten concerned about why I wasn’t showing up to work and why I was struggling so much. I didn’t want to open up to her about it because I couldn’t open up to anyone at the time. However, my friend asked the director of the place if she knew anything about me. The director broke into my therapist’s file under the guise of “he is my intern, I can look at his stuff” and then relayed all of that information to my friend. It became an entire case against the state board and I fought tooth and nail to get that director in trouble. In the end, nothing was done and in retaliation, the director fired my therapist and I had to wait until my therapist found a new job in order to see him (he was pre-graduation by just a few weeks so he couldn’t ethically talk to me until he had another practice). During the worst moments of my life, I was without my therapist (no fault of his, and he checked on me frequently), but it was really only for a few weeks. To me that was a lot since I had been going 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 because of my situation.
THE CRYSTAL AND THE SAGE
My therapist had gone out of town briefly and came back with a crystal he got. He told me when he purchased it he knew he wanted to give it to someone. And he said that it made him think of me and he wants me to have it. He said he wants it to be a reminder that he cares and others care and that it represents my truth to hold close. Months later, he went on another trip and said he got sage that someone gave him that was super special and he wanted me to have it. He was very invested in making sure I felt like he cares and has my back. I was never into spirituality in the same way as him so I respectfully accepted his kindness but kind of scoffed at him. It became more of a joke.
HOW MY BROTHER AND MY THERAPIST STARTED TEXTING
The director of the previous practice had tried to harass me with a fake number, as well as to my therapist. She wanted to try and get us to drop the case, I guess? When I continued to get texts from fake numbers, my therapist asked me to give him the number that was blowing up my phone. It turns out, timing was absolutely terrible. My brother (who moved out of state) was the one who started harassing me. My parents/brother allowed me to go to therapy to “work on my panic attacks” but they began hating the fact that my therapist was helping me become independent. My brother was outraged and texted me anonymously to kill myself. Because I still thought at the time that it was the director of the place, I went ahead and shared the number with my therapist. And that’s how it all began.
THE VIDEO THREATS FROM MY THERAPIST
Things got out of hand over the months. My therapist felt extremely protective of me and a “savior complex” kicked in. The reasoning for this is worth noting / important. My therapist lost his sister to suicide when they were young, and he also lost his father shortly after. His sister apparently had also been assaulted and my therapist had mentioned to me before how he views me as a friend, someone to protect, like a sister. He admitted his struggle with transference and said his main and only concern was to get me to move out of my family’s house. To take a leap of faith. He was desperate to do that. He offered to help me get an apartment near him so he could help me out, he offered to babysit my dog for me (my golden retriever is my emotional support animal that my parents have used as a bargaining chip), he offered to see me in therapy 5 times a week if I just moved. I just wasn’t ready. But my brother would not relent.
My therapist still does not know that I know this, but my brother showed me some of the videos my therapist sent him. Three separate threatening videos. In them, my therapist was shirtless with a ski mask on saying he was part of the FBI and that if my brother didn’t behave himself, that he would have his people come after him. My brother said that I was threatening him and that if I didn’t get this man to stop, it would be trouble. My therapist got extremely activated and decided to take it as a challenge.
My therapist also at some points asked my brother “how to assault me” because he wanted to know what my brother did/wanted him to admit it. But if an outsider saw the texts, it would seem like my therapist was asking to participate in assaulting me. It looked HORRIBLY incriminating.
THE MOVE OUT
I got the courage one night. Drove my dog over to my therapist’s house and moved in with a friend while I apartment hunted. My therapist was incredibly proud of me and poured so much love and care into my dog. I truly felt hopeful and optimistic and I eventually applied for my own apartment and got approved. Because of severe Stockholm syndrome and lack of knowing how to do ANYTHING, I would end up visiting home (somehow, they allowed that and I did not die!)
THE ASSAULT
Long story short (I am not super comfortable going into this part), people from the temple I was sex trafficked in (linked with my family), showed up and assaulted me at gun point in a van. I told my therapist. He was extremely upset on my behalf and called the police. He told me it was essential that I get restraining orders and that I stop going over to my parents house even if I have Stockholm syndrome. He said he could no longer be patient on that because I was actively being attacked. I told him I was still too nervous to go no contact and I could tell he was frustrated with me.
WHEN MY THERAPIST SECRETLY SAT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
My brother / someone from the temple decided to start things up once he figured out the person he was texting earlier was in fact my therapist. He threatened my therapist and challenged him to meet up. My brother was bluffing but my therapist took it seriously. My therapist arranged to meet him outside my apartment at 9pm that night. I had a weird gut feeling so I texted my therapist that night and asked him not to do anything stupid, but I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. Without telling me, my therapist sat outside my apartment waiting for my brother (who never showed) to meet him. Why my therapist chose to meet him RIGHT OUTSIDE my new residence was extremely irresponsible.
I went to take my dog out to the bathroom that night and my friend and I were hanging out. She noticed a dark car with someone sitting and staring with a mask on. We walked closer and it was my therapist. I yelled at him because I was so worried he would’ve gotten shot or attacked and that he would get hurt as a result of trying to fight. My therapist apologized and was so embarrassed. He awkwardly said “you weren’t supposed to know about this…” and drove off full force. We hopped in my friends car and followed him to wherever he tried to run off to. He then promised me he would leave. About 20 mins later, my friend and I decide to go out to get food and we see him sitting in another part of my apartment complex still ready to fight. I was so upset that he lied to me multiple times and that he was risking his life. What would’ve happened if he got attacked? But my therapist apologized again and said “I just need to look him in the eye” implying he was ready to kill.
THE DREAMS ABOUT MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER
As my therapist had told me, his sister had passed away from suicide when they were young. He admitted to have transference in a way where he viewed me in a sisterly way. For a while, I continually had dreams about his sister and it was very weird. I told him I don’t believe in a lot of things like crystals or burning sage but that these dreams felt incredibly vivid. In the dreams, her sister was assuring me that my therapist was sent in my life to be the brother I couldn’t have. That he was sent to me as a brother, and I to him as a sister.
THE HOSPITAL
Just within the span of days after he showed up to my apartment, I was hospitalized due to complications with my liver, and I reached out to my family for help. My therapist was upset with me for interacting with my family at all. My therapist even visited me in the hospital and said that I don’t need to call my family for help and that I have him and my other friends who will have my back. After I was discharged from the hospital, I asked my therapist if I could take my dog back for at least a weekend (he took my dog in while I went to the hospital in order to help me. He said he would hang onto him while I recovered and caught up on rest). So when he gave me my dog for the weekend, out of guilt, I took my dog with me to visit my family. I just felt the need to run back. My dad manipulated me a lot about missing my dog so I felt obligated.
MY THERAPIST’S FRUSTRATION
I admitted to my therapist that I had taken my dog to my parents for the weekend (after I already gave him my dog back). My therapist was so upset about it. He had put so much love and time into my dog and helping me, and then I took him back to the hands of my abusers. This is when him pulling back began. He felt like he was doing all of this extraneous stuff for me and I was just taking steps back.
THE SUICIDE METHOD
As he got over his frustration a little bit, I became very suicidal to the point where I purchased a rope and planned it out. I made him the beneficiary of my bank accounts as a thank you to him for everything. He told me he would do what he could to help me. He said I could bring my dog back to him if I just need a life break. He didn’t know I had the rope but he knew I was thinking suicide. When I went back to drop my dog off, I admitted I had a rope. I gave it to him. He realized I was genuinely going to kill myself and was so grateful I told him the truth. He told me he would be there for me to help me through it. Showed me grace and compassion and everything.
THE MAJOR PULLBACK
No warning. No indication. My therapist immediately pulled back. Hard. He told me to call him later that week (I usually have therapy 3x a week but he was out of town), and so I did as he said and called him to update him. He immediately flipped out. “Ugh, I cannot be in anything extra to your therapy space. I am going through things on my own and I need to pull back. I can’t take calls any hour of the day anymore. I can’t take your dog. You don’t even listen to me anyway. You do what you want and go to your parents. So, I don’t know what to say. I am committed to you as your therapist but that’s it. If you feel suicidal outside of that, go to a hospital and get sedated.” I was absolutely crushed and felt so awful and guilty like I did something wrong. I didn’t want to bother him. I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel loved and cared for (platonically, as a brother) and I felt so safe with him. Until this moment. He was very hung up on the fact that I kept going home to my family despite his efforts.
After calming down he explained how he feels like he needs to step back because his emotions shouldn’t affect my therapy and that he’s doing it to help me. But it felt very selfish. He over exerted himself by showing up to my apartment and sending threatening videos when I never asked for it, all because HE wanted to. And now he pulls back because HE wants to. None of his decisions were based on what I would feel, but what would best serve him.
THE RELAPSE AND THE DREAMS
Because my therapist stepped back so hard, I relapsed and said “screw it” / went back to my parents. I still had my apartment but I backslid majorly.
During this time I was so distraught. This therapist made me feel supported. And no, I didn’t attach onto him in an unhealthy way where he became my only hope. But he did feel like the brother I wished I had, and he felt like such a deep and important part of my life and I was devastated.
I started having dreams again about his sister and I cried. I felt like I was given this gift and then it was taken away.
THE BACK AND FORTH
My therapist began telling me that he thinks I should have additional support in this season especially while he “takes a break from extraneous stuff” with me. He said when he was younger and going through things, he had two therapists.
A week later I told him I found a second therapist and he said: “ummm I don’t know. I feel protective over that. Maybe don’t get a second one. Find a support group but I don’t want you seeing another one.”
I stood my ground and said I might still find one and he said “well then make sure the other one is a woman and is closely in touch with me.”
It felt very wishy washy and he did a lot of similar things like this for a while.
But when I listened to him and decided against a second therapist, he pulled back again. He said he wouldn’t take any more texts or calls outside of session once again and made me feel like an obsessed freak when I wasn’t even really doing much at all. Or asking for anything.
VISITING MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER’S GRAVE
My therapist is a famous author and singesong writer. Online, it’s very easy to find his sister’s name and I did some digging and found out where her grave is located. I was feeling really awful, like I was grieving the loss myself which is so incredibly psychotic. I know. But it more so felt like I was grieving the loss of this brotherly love I once felt from my therapist. But it’s been a couple months at this point and he still refuses to take texts or calls, and is very argumentative and angry in sessions. And I just wanted to take some flowers to the grave in private, not tell him, and just accept that he can’t be what I needed him to be for me.
MY FAMILY FINDS OUT
When I went to the cemetery, the place was huge. So I had to go into the office and ask for the location of his sister’s grave. They gave me a piece of paper with her name and grave location on it and I eventually just threw it in my wallet. My dad stumbled upon my wallet while I was at home one of the days and noticed the last name and asked me if I was still seeing my therapist. They don’t like him for obvious reasons. But I admitted to my parents that I do still see my therapist and that he’s more like family than they’d ever be. They abused me. But I stood in my truth. At the end of the day I will not deny that my therapist DID help me immensely and if that means I have to be abused for the truth, I’ll do it.
MY THERAPIST INSISTS ON INFORMATION
He knew that I was hiding something. I told him my family was abusive again but I didn’t say why. He spent an entire session saying he needs to know what happened. I said no multiple times and that I didn’t want to talk about it. He used language like “you have to tell me before you leave my office” and “if you care so much about me you’ll tell me.” He even told me he was going to take my hand and promise me that he won’t react. He held it and looked me in the eye and promised he’d meet me with compassion. I refused. He then asked me if I’ve been lying to him. Deceptive. It broke me and I felt like it was just such an insult. But I stayed strong and he apologized for bothering me about it.
Last week comes around and it feels like such a hindrance. He’s continuing to be short with me and not answer my texts, not taking emergency calls, and just… is continuing to be cold. I even texted him that I was genuinely feeling suicidal and he told me he can’t help me outside of session. Period.
So then after my latest session, I told him I’d text him what happened because I was too uncomfortable to say it. I told him I visited his sister’s grave, about the dreams, everything. I said I felt really hurt at his pullback and how it felt selfish.
He responded by gaslighting me endlessly and it absolutely crushed me furthermore. He responded as follows:
“Ok crystals and dreams? I don’t believe in them. I don’t believe that was my sister. I don’t know how I feel about you visiting her grave. I am not your brother and I can’t be your brother. And yes it was a nice gesture I guess but clearly you are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not talk about the weeds and the details. Let’s focus on you.” And completely shut down any further conversation about it.
In the past I have insisted and begged him to process him showing up at my apartment with me because I am still shaken up. He just always says “I never should’ve gotten involved like that but we are NOT going to talk about this ever again” and has always refused to hear how I felt about it.
He went back on vacation this past weekend and refused to take my call when I needed help, refused to text me, or anything. I called off work two days in a row because I was so devastated at his anger toward me and the gaslighting. It felt so unfair. I wanted to talk to him over the weekend because I was genuinely so hurt and felt like I truly lost him. He didn’t care.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
I had an appointment in person tonight. First in person one since I told him about everything. I am embarrassed and feel so guilty that I visited his sister’s grave behind his back. It makes me feel psychotic. But at least I was honest and didn’t wait until I got caught / did not gaslight him.
I have a major surgery tomorrow and he won’t help me with my dog. I’ve gone back to my parents for now until I am recovered.
I want to tell him how hurt I am but I have tried that. He never understands. I miss him. As a brother.
I ended up going to session and he asked me why I feel off in therapy. He literally said “other than me slightly having to pull back right now what have I really done?”
I don’t know if I ever can get him to see my side or my pain in this.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Again I know the majority of people will want to come at my therapist or me for doing wrong things. I know it doesn’t seem like this, but he really isn’t intentionally manipulative or gaslight-y, he’s just trying to regulate himself.
I have grace for him. And for myself. So please, please try and respond with compassion. I don’t want to lose him. But I feel like I kind of am.
What are your overall thoughts, in the most gentle way possible? Was I wrong for telling him the truth about the grave?

I've been married to my Q for two years, together for three. Same story as most - met him and didn't know he was an alcoholic. But he has gotten better over time, has committed (and failed miserably many times) with recovery with group meetings throughout the week. He has a counselor that helps him keep on track and keeps him accountable.
His brother, on the other hand, has been a raging alcoholic ever since he broke up from his super abusive and toxic (and alcoholic) ex-girlfriend. They were like a Syd and Nancy. Co-dependent, and equally destructive. He had been hospitalized before for his alcoholism before he met her. He somewhat fixed it with her, but they were nothing but party and destruction.
Fast forward he is out of that relationship and is on one colossal bender. Two weeks ago my Q and I witnessed him almost die in a car accident and it was traumatizing to say the least. We found him passed out drunk in his car at the park. When we told him we'll drive him back to his parent's house, he took off, drove off the highway, hit an embankment (almost ran into a ditch) and ultimately hit a bridge, which the car nearly fell into, if not for the barrier. Thank god he had his seatbelt on, otherwise he would have literally died in front of our eyes. We called 911 and they took him to the hospital with just minor bruises and scrapes. Car was completely totaled. When we visited him at the hospital that same day, his BAC was 0.46. Which means he was at around 0.5 at the time of the accident. Insanity.
Naturally, this has put a huge mental toll on my Q, my husband, who has been really trying to hold it together for us. I'm really proud of how much he's been trying. But he's been slipping every week this past month.
Would he benefit from going to Al-Anon? I have yet to go to a meeting, should I invite him to a meeting? Or would AA and his group therapy suffice for what he's been going through with his own brother? He has officially set a boundary to never buy him alcohol or even hang out with his brother when he is drinking, which is a good start. Anyone else's Q also have a Q in their life? How do they handle it? Seems like a double whammy.

This is going to be a long one, so sit back relax and try to understand it all.
There’s this girl that I’ve been working with for a year or so now. I knew she had a boyfriend near the beginning of when we started working together. And we hadn’t really spoke much until we had a staff night out clubbing. We were all sat around this table and this girl was sat next to me. She started rubbing her hand on my leg and reach for my hand to do the same for her. We were all tipsy at this point, one of our colleagues (who is the girl’s friend) noticed and spoke to the girl about it (later finding out she told the girl that I had put my hand there and that I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing) I thought oh shit she’s into me and she’s really hot. Nothing else much happened that night. The next morning I was messaging her and asking if she wanted to hang out. She said she couldn’t text me and that “it’s not like that” and told me she would speak to me when we next have work together. When that day came she told me she had a boyfriend and that’s why she can’t hang out with me. She also told me how she told her friend that I put my hand there and said it’s because that friend knows she has a boyfriend. For the rest of the day we kept talking about it, and she had said that there’s a reason that a girl might do something like that. Anyway fast forward a few days and she admitted that her boyfriend doesn’t sexually satisfy her anymore. Everyday after work she would drive me home and we would talk in the car, mostly about how she likes me and is sexually attracted to me. We met like this a few times and progressively became “closer” sexually. Kissing, touching and sucking ect… one night she came into my house and we had sex. Immediately after she was crying and saying how she feels bad because now she had officially cheated. Before I go any further have to say that I was okay knowing she had a bf and assumed she just wanted sex, which is what I wanted to. We started seeing each other more often and she was staying over nearly every night, during this time she was on a break from her bf. She was saying how she wants to break up with him but it’s not the right time just yet. And that it’s hard because their families are so close. By this time I started catching feelings for this girl and it seemed like she did the same. We can’t stay away from each other and we love each others company. She admitted to me one day that she wants to try again with her bf. And she knows it won’t work but wants me to wait because she needs to try so she knows that it’s not right. Now I’m here loving someone that doesn’t completely love me back. She keeps us a secret from everyone and we can never go out on dates or somewhere just to chill together.
She still talks to her bf but doesn’t see him unless it’s with friends. I’ve given her plenty of time to end things with him but she still hasn’t. She reassures me that she does want me. But I don’t feel like she really does. I don’t know how to feel anymore. I see her at work all the time and we flirt with each other and she desperately wants me sexually. Which we both agreed is a big thing for us is to feel wanted in that way. So I understand that most the time we just want each other like that. But we also just like spending time with each other.
Am I thinking too much into this situation ?

Hello, I am a good looking, fit, masculine, down-to-earth professional Asian guy who has been very curious to worship/give a BJ to a fit masculine white guy on my knees (must be between 18 & 38) . I can switch if you are into it.
I've felt ashamed and guilty about my secret fantasies..., but I have wanted to explore this with a nice guy for some time. Discretion is a MUST because I want to keep my fantasies separate from my real life.
Me: 30yo, 5'11" 165lbs, 4.5"uc, short black hair, dark brown eyes, smooth, and good looking. I am drug and disease free and you should be too.
You: Please be a masculine and normal and European White.
I don't care if you are attached… boyfriend… girlfriend… we all need something new every now and then. Especially if you’ve been feeling a bit empty and need to be filled up.
If you care, tell me something that you are into, something that you’ve been fantasizing about but haven’t done yet… even if you have. Maybe we can working it into our meeting.
Please send me your height, weight, hair and eye colors in your first reply. This is a MUST because I want both of us to respect our time.
I can travel or host in Midtown, or do car play!
Thanks for reading!

I (M23) go to university in Illinois and here I met my wonderful boyfriend (M25). We've been together for almost 3 years now and we're even considering marriage sometime in the future. Now before I get into the current situation, I need to give some context.
When I was a high school sophomore, I had come out to some of my close friends as pansexual and this ended up being discovered by my mom when she was looking through my phone. She didn't tell me about it right away but the next morning when I woke up both of my parents didn't talk to me and just ignored. Eventually my mom told me and I had to sit through them basically lecturing me about my own sexuality and what's "morally correct." Eventually I had no choice to lie and tell them that I was just pranking my friends and it was a lie which they SOMEHOW believed or I guess rather chose to believe.
When I left home for college and finished by undergraduate, I went to law school in Illinois where I met my boyfriend. For both of our safety I kept this hidden from my parents. In my family, only my older sister knew about it and when I was back home with my boyfriend (who I said was just a friend), my sister (F27) accidentally spilled it to my mom upon which she also told my dad. During this I was out with some of my high school friends and when I came back, I had to endure hours of yelling and crying from my parents. Luckily my boyfriend wasn't there but I just got up, picked him up, and drove back to our apartment near the campus. After avoiding their calls for days I even got a few letters from them. I hadn't told my boyfriend yet and he happened to read one of these stupid letters of theirs. I broke down and he tried to comfort me and I ended up telling him everything. I was planning to actually go and talk things over with them but he advised me not to. After a bit of arguing and crying I ended up listening. I haven't replied/talked to them for 3 months now and I've ripped up most of the letters they've sent until I saw the last one which basically said they will come over next week if I don't respond or talk to them. I plan to go through with the whole cutting contact thing. I've always been very emotionally weak but my boyfriend has goes me improve myself. Above all I wanted to ask whether I was in the wrong for doing to because I'm very conflicted here. Idk whether I should keep doing this or what.

Chapter 18

Another tightly interwoven chapter this time around, with Erikson's pacing and plate-juggling kicking into overdrive. I'll slightly disentangle them for summary/observation pacing and coherency, but as always, the effect is wonderful in narrative prose form. We finally get a reunion between the Captain and the Bridgeburners, some major revelations regarding the background machinations of the former 2nd, and the Tyrant is awakened. Additionally, this chapter had a few loose ends (hopefully) click for me, as well as provide several "file for later" moments. So without further ado...

Epigraph

Another excerpt of The Conspiracy and continues the tradition of excerpts of ostensibly the same work sharing nothing of their formatting in common. It also continues the tradition of Blind Gallan ruining my life by being by far the most cryptic author quoted. There is a reference to an "eight-limbed Paralt-" so whom or whatever that is is likely the same as the spider mentioned in the previous Conspiracy Epigraph. It also helps that they're/it's explicitly referred to as a spider, lol. But to my recollection I have no knowledge of who or what a Paralt is, but am on high alert for the term moving forward. Most interesting is that it "dives home Power's//gentle balance" The capitalization of Power seems significant, but again IDK what to make of it.

The Chapter Itself -

- begins with Sergeant Whiskeyjack on edge, awaiting the upcoming fights, increasingly aware of the mounting complications and still wrestling with his forced ambivalence. The other Bridgeburners are preparing as well, Fiddler and Hedge inspecting and tweaking an arbalest, Quick Ben attempting and failing to scry (the presumably dead) Sorry, and Kalam doing everything in his power to accelerate the healing process. The ex-Claw is preparing for one last ditch effort to draw out and contact the cities assassins, but it's a long shot. To do so, he will enter the same Inn as before. If this doesn't pan out, they'll default back to plan A with the intersections. Given the situation, Whiskeyjack is as desperately callous as ever, and Fiddler calls him out on this. While encouraged, WJ does not regain his optimism on a dime. He sees Kalam out, and orders the others to get back to work; not without some good humor.
Coll, meanwhile, is getting worse by the second, his leg swelling and seeping blood. Considering what we learn later regarding the severity of his injury, it's a wonder Coll manages to endure as long as he did. The former lord and Captain received some small measure of help, but far, far less than Coll needs. As they approach Worry Gate Coll informs Paran of the need to reach the Phoenix Inn. When they reach the gate itself, Coll has gone comatose, and Paran rejects their offer of a surgeon, trusting Coll's request. One of the guards recognizes Coll, despite the city's records insisting he's dead, and is thus able to order a cart for the dying man. We don't get any indication of who this guard is, other than the fact that he's one of Coll's former guards.* Getting Coll onto the cart, he notices a flash of movement along a distant, square platform. In a moment, the movement subsides, and Paran moves on. They quickly rush to the Inn, getting observed by Irilta on the way in. Paran then sends for a medic and sits down to eat. Upstairs, Meese, guarding a sleeping Crokus and Apsalar, is informed of the development. Irilta notes Paran's good looks and abnormally good Daru, but can't make much sense of the man. The two converse about things getting tense, even for the Eel, and oddly, complain about catching glimpses of individuals within their periphery. I'll get back to that note in a moment.
* I'd entertained the idea that this was Circle Breaker, helping even after his duties were technically done. The gate is incredibly close to Despot's Barbican, per the map of Darujhistan, so it's not inconceivable that the gate is one of the last stations along his rounds. Additionally, if Kruppe is the Eel, it would fit that he'd recruit from Coll's staff. So while we, again, get no indication either way, I'd like to think so. The biggest point against this, however, is CB's history as a privateer, so there's likely a narrow window wherein that'd even be possible.
The flash of movement Paran observed was the clash between Rallick Nom and Ocelot. Rallick had climbed up the back (or depending how you look at it, the front) way, draining most of his strength to even approach the Clan leader. This drain winds up being a critical weakness in the upcoming fight. The sorcery of Ocelot and the exhaustion of RN manage to open a window for the Clan leader to retaliate. Fortunately, the powder Baruk gave still works, and the conjured bolt dissipates on contact. The two knife fight, quickly adapting to one another's counter strategies, and each receiving fatal wounds. Even with all of his magics, and RN's weakened state, Ocelot losses, or perhaps the fight ends in a draw with him succumbing first. As RN fades out, the blood spilled in the temple once again invigorates K'Rul. Between the Elder god's attention and the now proven potency of the "changes you" powder, there is some hope for RN's survival, but it is unlikely to be pretty.
Speculation Time: Could it be possible that the battle K'Rul is preparing for is against the Jaghut Tyrant? Is Oppon steering the nearly-impotent elder god towards the Tyrant? While that sounds like a fantasticaly dumb idea, if Rake, the Cabal, and K'Rul were to come out swinging, none of the three parties could come out seriously weakened, rendering Laseen's three-birds-one-stone strategy worthless. Or worse yet, the Tyrant subsumes K'Rul, someone he remembers as immensely powerful, but is suck with a weak thrall and one with cultivated weaknesses and exploits. One produced as a "back door" of sorts to get at the monster. I'll admit, this is likely my least grounded guess yet, mostly because it's pure motive speculation, but at the very least, I feel good guessing K'Rul is on a collision course with the Tyrant.
Meanwhile, Serrat got jumped, preventing her interfering with the Coin Bearrer's escape. We don't learn who did so, only that it was unlikely to be a god and especially unlikely to be Oppon. I'll just shelve this for now, but find it interesting that, in the chapter, it's revealed immediately after blood is spilt within the temple.
Paran sits eating and drinking in the Phoenix Inn, contemplating his options. He suspects his luck has turned, as foretold by Anomander Rake, but is unsure of what to do with that information. He notices a chance spill of beer dripping into a crack in the counter, and wedges Chance within it, resolving to destroy the blade. He fears that despite being freed from Oppon, Chance is a sufficent conduit to the Twins that they're continuing to shape him, destroying and alienating those he loves. Live a life the gods don't notice. Just as he reaches for the sword, Kalam enters the room. He catches a glimpse of of the Captain, and intercedes before the blade can be destroyed. He somehow managed to peice together what it was Paran intended to do, speaking to his experience. I'm not quite certain how he managed it, but I can speculate. One such clue was a series of sensations being observed, "four times in quick succession." Either it was repeated glances from Oppon, or four individuals. If I had to guess, its the Twins, along with Meese and Iralta, still watching the street from the attic. How he picked up on two of them being gods, (or one composite god?) I still don't know.
Paran, once he recognizes the corporal, demands he fetch Mallet. He then moves upstairs, with the surgeon the Inn retrieved being unable to save Coll. For whatever reason, I found the interaction between the surgeon and the Captain particularly affective. "Why, nothing, sir. I failed." Says so much in so little time, particularly when we find out how poor of a physician he is. In a story with dozens of hypercompetent characters, seeing someone profess their mediocrity stands way out. Ganoes then rests by Colls bed, practically willing the man to hang on for a few more minutes.
Eventually, Whiskeyjack, Kalam, and Mallet barge in. Coll is so far gone even the healler breifly mistakes him for a corpse, then shoos them into a distant corner. They debrief each other on their goings on, and asses how dire things are. After getting Paran's version of events, Whiskeyjack uses a K'chain Che'Malle relic to page High Fist Dujek Onearm. Dujek provides an update for the Bridgeburners (and the audience) regarding the goings on in Pale. Tayscheren is practically self destructing trying to catch up with the plot, Hairlock apparently killed someone in Nathilog (for reasons or lack thereof I cannot even begin to speculate) and Laseen is growing more intense in her attempts to undermine Dujek. He'll likely be moved to Seven Cities to put down the brewing rebellion mentioned earlier. It's to late, however, as the situation on Genebakis has deteriorated so far that anything could set off what little remains of the 2nd, likely the disbanding of the Bridgeburners. Whiskeyjack vouches for Paran, and we get some updates on Toc and another hint that Dujek and his father were close. It seems to be accepted that he died from Hairlock's attack. I'll hold my reservations for meta reasons, but I really don't have any method or explanation to anticipate his survival.
It is accepted that no one present could accept the continued authority of Laseen, and while Dujek hints at some potential openings, things aren't looking good for defection either. The Crimson Guard continue to make headway, the formerly free cities are on the verge of revolt, and something is eroding the Moranth alliance. What's worse, the Pannion Seer* is some big looming threat, preparing to make moves of their own. The conversation ends, and while I didn't bring it up, it is noteworthy that GP chose not to mention Silverfox. Paran defers command of the BBs to WJ, experience superseding rank via necessity.
*Who's been mentioned maybe twice, if we don't count the map. Like I literally keep forgetting this guy exists.
Kalam asks Whiskeyjack what had changed the High Fist's mind on revolt, and WJ points out that it was obvious someone intends to torch the Genebakis campaign to do away with the remainder of the Old Guard. This doesn't quite jive with Laseen's current needs for certain members of the OG, so I'm curious as to who. WJ convinces Paran that Lorn needs to survive at the very least long enough to draw out the Jaghut Tyrant and waives away the Captain's concerns regarding their use of explosives in a gas powered city. (On a review, Paran doesn't even know that much, and I can see why the Sergeant would like to keep him in the dark) Paran leaves to retreive Chance once he learns Coll is safe, and refrains from updating the BBs regarding Sorry.
We end the chapter with a brief update in the Barrow. Tool explains to Lorn that she needs to find what's called a Finnest, efectivly a "self contained Warren" because that's a thing that makes sence. I'm growing increasingly sympathetic to the template model of Warrens. Any Warren built like Omose Phellack is Omtose Phellack. She finds it, in the form of an acorn, betraying once again the Jaghut's pacifism. Tool admits that they had to be goaded into warfare and self destruction. They quickly leave as the Tyrant stirs.
And there we go, one more chapter and we're likely in the climax proper. No where to go but further into the tightening mess, waiting eagerly to see how it all unfolds...

Just thought I'd share a little story about an online brunch date, first and last meeting.
It's Saturday morning, we meet for brunch at a cafe. She's wearing sunglasses and speaks extremely minimally, it's clear she's hungover, and seems to have attended out of obligation like arriving at work on a Monday morning regretfully.
Initially I went in with an understanding mindset, and appreciated the effort to turn up at all. But it began to bother me when it went on like this the entire time, wearing the sunglasses and barely communicating at all. However she did eat a meal and enjoy a coffee, which I paid for and of course she made no attempt to pay.
Here's the interesting part... She'd parked illegally at a different business across the road, and I'd parked down the street. So we parted ways right outside on the street and I walk to my car. Once I reach my car I receive a text message from the girl which was surprising. She sent the following complaint: "Someone just crashed into my car in that carpark, CANT BELIEVE I WASTED MY TIME on this terrible date just to get my car wrecked. Don't bother contacting me again"

We had an incident of malicious scratching (likely someone keying the car) on our new, Eternal Blue, CX-5. We have one, reasonably deep, 6" scratch on the hood and another minor one on the fender, very close to the scratched portion of the hood. We were hoping that second scratch could be buffed out, but one of the body places gave it a try and said it's just a little too deep.
Both body shops I checked with have talked about blending the newly painted portion into the rest of the hood and fender. It was explained to me that, while they could repaint the entire hood, that was unlikely to give a precise color match. Blending would actually be the best approach to prevent leaving any noticeable paint differences.
I had read a long time ago that blending was not a good approach to such repairs. But that was long ago and perhaps the source was not fully reliable. Should I push for a full repainting of the hood or is this blending approach normal and appropriate?
I'm not fanatical about my car's appearance. As long as it doesn't look weird, I'm fine with the blending approach. I just want to make sure I'm not signing up for a fundamentally bad approach.