Car wash near me drive through
The Science of Deduction
2013.01.11 00:34 neowu The Science of Deduction
A place to practice your Sherlock like observation
2015.08.23 17:14 Iggy gotta get a bitch watch for my rapture
2017.10.11 18:28 shitpost953 buttered toast
2023.05.31 01:41 Amissindent First-time ever shooting clay pigeons.
Shooting’s always been one of my favorite pastimes, though I hadn’t fired a gun in ages. That is, until I finally decided to treat myself and my SO to a special kind of date. We’d heard about a recently opened gun range where you can practice clay pigeon shooting. The range was an hour’s drive away, so we were both eager to try out the local assortment. My SO is far more skilled with handling weapons, but neither of us had skeet shooting practice before.
I was nervous during our drive down to the range. This was the first time I’d ever be shooting moving targets. In my naivety, I expected upon arrival to be firing at dinner plate-sized targets. That chance. As I hunkered down, shotgun in hand, I realized these clay pigeons were about the size of a saucer, and there were only 25 cartridges in the box. Failure and shame awaited me when I realized it was gonna be a challenge to score even one bullseye.
I gave my SO the honor of embarrassing herself first and let her take the first shot. She was hesitant until the very last, but we got a hardball, old-school instructor who was all about getting things done. “Don't know how - I'll teach you. Don't want to - I'll make you!"" Eh ... there was no one around, so what the heck? I took up position, aimed the gun, and pulled the trigger…
You know that feeling when you surprise yourself with what you’ve managed to accomplish? This was exactly how I felt when I hit the saucer with just my second shot! The bullets were quite chunky. From what I could tell, they were pretty similar to these bad boys - https://bulkmunitions.com/buy-ammo/rifle/223-rem-556x45-ammo/
. The targets were springing out of a platform from under my feet, so I had to catch them as they were going through their trajectory. This is where my B+ in physics finally came in handy.
After about 5-6 minutes, my shoulder started feeling sore - hello, recoil. Time to call it a night. Shame my body was less prepared than my mind. But man, what a rush! Out of 10 clay pigeons, 5 bit the literal bullet.
submitted by Amissindent
to Firearms [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:41 yourkindcousin Unlock Success NOW: The Unstoppable 5-Key Blueprint to Master ANY Business
If you think business is about PowerPoint presentations, networking events, or buzzwords like 'synergy', think again. Strip away the noise and what you're left with is this raw, unfiltered truth: business is a beast that feeds on money. It’s the blood, sweat, and tears you pour in, hoping that when the dust settles, you'll find yourself standing on a pile of cash.
Visualize it like a relentless marathon, a race that never ends. It's the power of your investment pushing you forward, each dollar thrown in the mix acting like an extra dose of fuel, driving you towards the finish line. This game is a brutal test of endurance, strength, and strategic maneuvering.
Or better yet, imagine it as a ruthless chess game. Every move you make, each piece you sacrifice, is a strategic decision to outwit your opponent and protect your king - your profit. You play the game, take the hits, and keep moving forward, always eyeing that end goal - to end up with more money than you started with.
The problem with most businesses these days is that you don't understand the simple laws in the universe that we live in.
LISTEN UP! Business IS money. Period. If you're not hauling in that sweet green, then WHY ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING?
FLASHBACK: 4th grade. I'm just a kid walking into school when I see this game, Bakugan, taking the playground by storm. Intrigued, I get in on the action, buying 4 Bakugans for a cool $5.
Then, BAM! A kid approaches me and lays down $2.5 for ONE of my Bakugans. That's HALF my initial investment back, with one single sale!
There it was - MONEY IN. The first key was mine, and let me tell you, it was a thrill like no other.
Smelling the sweet scent of success and spotting the demand, I dove deeper. I found a wholesale deal and snagged 14 Bakugans for a mere $8. It was GAME ON.
I was about to shake up the school like never before. I brought in Bakugans that no one had even seen before. I had them gaping, I had them wanting. I created a STIR, and boy, did that pay off.
Just like that, I had the other 4 keys to success snug in my pocket. Money flowed in as naturally as water down a river. The symphony of a successful business was playing loud and clear, with me as the maestro.
THAT'S the power of understanding BUSINESS IS MONEY! NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.
LISTEN UP! I'm about to give you the ULTIMATE guide to business success. No fluff, no jargon, just plain, simple FACTS.
We live in a world where social media has turned business into a game ANYONE can play. So stop wracking your brain and making it harder than it has to be.
The recipe to business success is literally at your FINGERTIPS. All you need is to follow the road of 123 6 9:
1 - MONEY IN.
2 - DEMAND.
3 - SUPPLY.
6 - ATTENTION.
9 - FLOW.
Get it? That's your roadmap to DOMINATION. It's simple. It's straightforward. It's foolproof.
Remember this: The first four elements can dance around any order. You could start with ATTENTION as your number 1, SUPPLY as your number 2, DEMAND as your number 3, and MONEY IN as your 6. But remember - FLOW is always 9. It's the grand finale, the thunderous climax.
These four elements are your building blocks. Forget about the perfect logo, or the next big thing. These things are nice, but they don't guarantee success. It's the fusion of these four elements that creates the FLOW, the rhythm of a successful business.
So, ARM yourself with these elements. MOLD them into your strategy. This is your golden ticket.
I can already see those comments coming in. "Oh wow, Einstein, nice discovery, we already knew this."
Well, let me hit you with a little wisdom from the man himself, Albert Einstein: "Any fool can know. The point is to understand."
DON'T BE THAT FOOL! UNDERSTAND the simple truth of business. There's ALWAYS demand, there's ALWAYS supply, and they're waiting for YOU. Find them, connect them, and that's MONEY IN. From there, getting ATTENTION is a breeze. Pay an influencer, start an ad campaign, you name it.
Sure, it takes a dose of smarts and creativity to play the elements into a harmonious symphony. But let me tell you this: EVERYONE can play their own tune that gets rewarded with the sweet sound of cash clinking.
OPEN YOUR EYES! Understand that business and money are EVERYWHERE. At the restaurant, at the party, even when you're scrolling TikTok.
Business is an ART, and like any art, it takes practice. It's a symphony that needs its conductor. And just like any skill, it CAN BE CONQUERED.
This world we live in is FULL of challenges. But every challenge is an opportunity. Look at the gym - anyone who hits it with dedication and good flow can sculpt a great body, no matter how skinny or fat they start out.
BUSINESS IS THE SAME. So get out there, face those challenges, POUND the pavement, SWEAT the small stuff, GRIND till you reach the top. This is YOUR game to win, and the world is your arena. Now, MAKE IT HAPPEN
WAKE UP, PEOPLE! This is your BLUEPRINT to business. This is your foundation, your starting point to build an EMPIRE. Yeah, it'll always be a challenge, but the BIGGEST challenge? It's starting a business and wasting time on things that just DON'T MATTER.
FOCUS on these 4 keys when you're starting your journey. If you're already knee-deep and things aren't looking up, TAKE A STEP BACK. Look at your business through the lens of these 4 keys. What are you neglecting?
Now, I'm not just here to dish out advice and leave you hanging. I'm here to HELP. If you're struggling with your business or figuring out how to work these keys, I'm OPEN for discussion and ready to assist.
But let's get one thing straight: I'm here for those who are SERIOUS. For those ready to CHANGE THEIR LIVES, learn the art of business, and willing to put in the HARD WORK and GRIT to make it happen.
Are you one of them? If you are, then let's get down to business and MAKE. THINGS. HAPPEN!
submitted by yourkindcousin
to business [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:41 JoshAsdvgi THE DESERTED CHILDREN
| || | submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments]
THE DESERTED CHILDREN
THERE was a camp.
All the children went off to play.
They went to some distance.
Then one man said, "Let us abandon the children.
Lift the ends of your tent-poles and travois when you go, so that there will be no trail."
Then the people went off.
After a time the oldest girl amongst the children sent the others back to the camp to get something to eat.
The children found the camp gone, the fires out, and only ashes about.
They cried, and wandered about at random.
The oldest girl said, "Let us go toward the river."
They found a trail leading across the river, and forded the river there.
Then one of the girls found a tent-pole.
As they went along, she cried, "My mother, here is your tent-pole."
"Bring my tent-pole here!" shouted an old woman loudly from out of the timber.
The children went towards her.
They found that she was an old woman who lived alone.
They entered her tent.
At night they were tired.
The old woman told them all to sleep with their heads toward the fire.
Only one little girl who had a small brother pretended to sleep, but did not.
The old woman watched if all were asleep.
Then she put her foot in the fire.
It became red hot.
Then she pressed it down on the throat of one of the children, and burned through the child's throat.
Then she killed the next one and the next one.
The little girl jumped up, saying, "My grandmother, let me live with you and work for you.
I will bring wood and water for you."
Then the old woman allowed her and her little brother to live.
"Take these out," she said.
Then the little girl, carrying her brother on her back, dragged out the bodies of the other children.
Then the old woman sent her to get wood.
The little girl brought back a load of cottonwood.
When she brought it, the old woman said,
"That is not the kind of wood I use.
Throw it out.
Bring another load."
The little girl went out and got willow-wood.
She came back, and said, "My grandmother, I have a load of wood."
"Throw it in," said the old woman.
The little girl threw the wood into the tent.
The old woman said, "
That is not the kind of wood I use.
Throw it outside.
Now go get wood for me."
Then the little girl brought birch-wood, then cherry, then sagebrush; but the old woman always said,
"That is not the kind of wood I use," and sent her out again.
The little girl went.
She cried and cried.
Then a bird came to her and told her, "
Bring her ghost-ropes for she is a ghost."
Then the little girl brought some of these plants, which grow on willows.
The old woman said, "Throw in the wood which you have brought."
The little girl threw it in.
Then the old woman was glad.
"You are my good grand-daughter," she said.
Then the old woman sent the little girl to get water.
The little girl brought her river-water, then rain-water, then spring-water; but the old woman always told her, "That is not the kind of water I use.
Then the bird told the little girl, "Bring her foul, stagnant water, which is muddy and full of worms.
That is the only kind she drinks."
The little girl got the water, and when she brought it the old woman was glad.
Then the little boy said that he needed to go out doors.
"Well, then, go out with your brother, but let half of your robe remain inside of the tent while you hold him."
Then the girl took her little brother out, leaving half of her robe inside the tent.
When she was outside, she stuck an awl in the ground.
She hung her robe on this, and, taking her little brother, fled.
The old woman called, "Hurry!"
Then the awl answered, "My grandmother,
my little brother is not yet ready."
Again the old woman said, "Now hurry!"
Then the awl answered again, "My little brother is not ready."
Then the old woman said, "Come in now; else I will go outside and kill you."
She started to go out, and stepped on the awl.
The little girl and her brother fled, and came to a large river An animal with two horns lay there.
It said, "Louse me."
The little boy loused it.
Its lice were frogs.
"Catch four, and crack them with your teeth," said the Water-monster.
The boy had on a necklace of plum-seeds.
Four times the girl cracked a seed.
She made the monster think that her brother had cracked one of its lice.
Then the Water-monster said, "Go between my horns, and do not open your eyes until we have crossed."
Then he went under the surface of the water.
He came up on the other side.
The children got off and went on.
The old woman was pursuing the children, saying, "I will kill you.
You cannot escape me by going to the sky or by entering the ground."
She came to the river.
The monster had returned, and was lying at the edge of the water.
"Louse me," it said.
The old woman found a frog.
"These dirty lice! I will not put them into my mouth!" she said, and threw it into the river. She found three more, and threw them away.
Then she went on the Water-monster.
He went under the surface of the water, remained there, drowned her, and ate her.
The children went on.
At last they came to the camp of the people who had deserted them.
They came to their parents' tent.
"My mother, here is your little son," the girl said. "
I did not know that I had a son," their mother said.
They went to their father, their uncle, and their grandfather.
They all said, "I did not know I had a son," "I did not know I had a nephew," "I did not know I had a grandson."
Then a man said, "Let us tie them face to face, and hang them in a tree and leave them."
Then they tied them together, hung them in a tree, put out all the fires, and left them.
A small dog with sores all over his body, his mouth, and his eyes, pretended to be sick and unable to move, and lay on the ground.
He kept a little fire between his legs, and had hidden a knife.
The people left the dog lying.
When they had all gone off, the dog went to the children, climbed the tree, cut the ropes, and freed them.
The little boy cried and cried.
He felt bad about what the people had done.
Then many buffalo came near them.
"Look at the buffalo, my brother," said the girl.
The boy looked at the buffalo, and they fell dead
The girl wondered how they might cut them up.
"Look at the meat, my younger brother," she said.
The boy looked at the dead buffalo, and the meat was all cut up.
Then she told him to look at the meat, and when he looked at it, the meat was dried.
Then they had much to eat, and the dog became well again.
The girl sat down on the pile of buffalo-skins, and they were all dressed.
She folded them together, sat on them, and there was a tent.
Then she went out with the dog and looked for sticks.
She brought dead branches, broken tent-poles, and rotten wood.
"Look at the tent-poles," she said to her brother.
When he looked, there were large straight tent-poles, smooth and good.
Then the girl tied three together at the top, and stood them up, and told her brother to look at the tent.
He looked, and a large fine tent stood there.
Then she told him to go inside and look about him.
He went in and looked.
Then the tent was filled with property, and there were beds for them, and a bed also for the dog.
The dog was an old man.
Then the girl said, "Look at the antelopes running, my brother."
The boy looked, and the antelopes fell dead.
He looked at them again, and the meat was cut up and the skins taken off.
Then the girl made fine dresses of the skins for her brother and herself and the dog.
Then she called as if she were calling for dogs, and four bears came loping to her.
"You watch that pile of meat, and you this one," she said to each one of the bears.
The bears went to the meat and watched it.
Then the boy looked at the woods and there was a corral full of fine painted horses.
Then the children lived at this place, the same place where they had been tied and abandoned.
They had very much food and much property.
Then a man came and saw their tent and the abundance they had, and went back and told the people.
Then the people were told, "Break camp and move to the children for we are without food." Then they broke camp and travelled, and came to the children.
The women went to take meat, but the bears drove them away.
The girl and her brother would not come out of the tent.
Not even the dog would come out.
Then the girl said, "I will go out and bring a wife for you, my brother, and for the dog, and a husband for myself."
Then she went out, and went to the camp and selected two pretty girls and one good-looking young man, and told them to come with her.
She took them into the tent, and the girls sat down by the boy and the old man, and the man by her.
Then they gave them fine clothing, and married them.
Then the sister told her brother, "Go outside and look at the camp."
The boy went out and looked at the people, and they all fell dead.
2023.05.31 01:40 imbiggay96 Is it ok to cut my parents off over siblings abuse?
I'm currently contemplating cutting my parents off for a bit and I'm struggling with the guilt I'm feeling around doing it.
Gonna give background bc reddit is anonymous so buckle up:
I was sexually abused by my older sibling from the ages of 10-12. It stopped because at 12 I told my mum, not really understanding what was happening, but knowing it shouldn't be.
My parents gave me a choice then about what I wanted to do: go to the police or have us both go to therapy and move on. I honestly didn't understand why they were both so upset at the time and I didn't want anyone to get in trouble so I said the therapy option. We both had 2 sessions and it wasn't mentioned again for several years.
I never processed what happened to me as a child or how I felt in that, I managed to push down the memories with self harming and pinching myself, to the point I don't have a clear recollection of those 2 years of my life anymore. I refused to acknowledge it to my friends and it was never mentioned within the family until I was 16.
The only reason I mentioned it at 16 was because I had a meltdown after hearing my brother playing his guitar really loudly, by that point I had developed musical "hallucinations" of faint guitar playing even when he wasn't there which I now understand to be flashbacks. I went in and told him to turn it down as I was becoming increasingly agitated (I also have autism & ADHD) he laughed at me and told me to fuck off. Usually this happens and I'd just leave, but for some reason in that moment I flipped out and started screaming that he ruined my life and he just laughed and I lost it, I tried to strangle him with his guitar whilst screaming that I hate him until my dad came in and physically dragged me off him, taking me outside. I was inconsolable and asked my parents to kick him out, they obviously said no, so I left to go stay with friends. This was the first time we acknowledged this in 4 years.
Once I had let this out I confided in my CAMHS (child mental health) worker about the trauma, the musical hallucinations, the self harm and the fact I wanted to not live. She got me in touch with social and then youth services to help me find somewhere else to live.
My parents were annoyed by this decision of me to leave, but refused to have my brother to move out, so I was placed into a homeless hostel for my own protection and peace of mind. They maintain to this day that I was never kicked out and chose to leave off my own accord.
I stayed there for about 4 months, it was a horrible dangerous place for a 16 year old quiet nerdy kid, I quickly grew hostile and developed a drug problem for a while. Then my brother moved out so I returned home to live with my parents.
Around this time my mother's alcoholism, pill dependencies and mental health issues also really began to intensify, but I did end up staying there for just shy of 2 years. I was no longer the sweet top of class nerdy kid and was now a college dropout, with severe depression. My mum would routinely scream abuse at me whilst blackout drunk also. Still I was determined to fix things so at 18 I re-enrolled in college to finally get my A Levels despite my dad's anger about this (he wanted me to work and pay rent) and I stopped using the drugs I was on. Life was starting to slowly get back on track.
Until about 2 months later, a week or so after I turned 19 when my parents informed me my brother had fucked up his life again and was moving home in 4 days.
I pled and protested with my parents that 4 days does not give me time to find somewhere else to live, they got angry at me for dredging up the past and being unfair on them and my sibling. My sibling also sent me abusive messages calling me names because I was making them feel bad.
So with no other real choice I found myself homeless and sofa surfing, sleeping with guys for places to stay etc, until I made it up the waitlist for the local YMCA hostel. My mates that I stayed with for most of it lived over 20 miles away so I was unable to get to college and flunked my A levels. I was kicked out of college shortly after I moved into the YMCA.
My family eventually "forgave" me for my behaviour and got back on speaking terms. All the while I'm living in hostels & unsafe situations. The next 5 or so years are a traumatic mess to be honest, I ended up an alchoholic with multiple suicide attempts, so much trauma, an eating disorder, further traumas and assaults by the unsafe people I lived with and an apathetic attitude towards living. My mother also was a big drain on me over that time, exhibited narcissistic behaviours, triggered me with food and on one holiday scratched herself up and tried to convince me I did it while she was drunk, I actually did cut her off for 3 months after this till we both got sober, but reconnected with her due to pressure from my dad.
Eventually in 2021 when I was 25, after a pretty serious suicide attempt and psychiatric admission I realised I was an alcoholic and joined AA and there I started to get well, for the first time in my life.
AA really saved me from myself and helped me get my life back on track, at this point I had my own place and a decent job and started trying to make something of myself and be a better person, which has been working well, but the one thing I never addressed in any of that was the trauma.
I still had to see my brother throughout the years due to parental pressure and as such had sort of siphoned off my trauma and had a disconnect to it and I thought that was working.
Unfortunately earlier this year I spiralled into a major depressive episode, I remained sober, but even the best of programs couldn't hold the suicidal ideation at bay. I ended up in a psych ward this time for 5 weeks. It was terrifying to be in a place where my life was on track, yet I still felt so disgusting and hopeless I didn't want to live. Although I still wasn't fully ready to admit that my trauma is what brought me that point. Despite daily flashbacks, self harming behaviours and nightmares of the abuse where I was at fault. I had it so compartmentalised and was keen to look for any other cause other than that.
My dad came to visit me after I'd been there about 2 weeks and informed me that my brother isn't doing well and I need to make more of an effort to see him. For the first time in my life I attempted to put a boundary in place and said that actually I don't think I should be seeing him ever again. Dad asked me "Is this because of the stuff that happened when you were kids?" And I responded "Do you mean the reason I keep ending up in places like this, no matter what I do?" And that was the first time I ever verbally acknowledged that this trauma was at the route of everything.
We spoke at length for several hours, my dad explaining that they always chose him because I'm capable while my sibling is a fuck up. I said I'm not coping. I'm literally in a psych ward? He said that he put me on a life raft while he helped my sibling and I said you didn't put me on a life raft, I went to a fucking YMCA. After that he heard me for the first time and semi acknowledged that they'd made some wrong moves and said he'd speak to mum about what to do moving forward so I don't have to see my brother again and can finally unpack this immense trauma in therapy.
That conversation opened the flood gates while I was in hospital and I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist with Complex-PTSD and assigned a trauma therapist. I was absolutely broken having finally admitted the guilt and shame I've felt my whole life, but at the same time felt some hope, that I can finally move on.
Until a week or so later when I spoke to my mum and mentioned the conversation with my dad, she said he had never spoken to her. She seemed uncomfortable and bored when I spoke about uow it has affected me and asked how it would make my sibling feel if I stopped seeing him. When I relayed it explaining how dad finally started to acknowledge how difficult it has been when they chose my brother over me, she stopped me and angrily/defensively stated "I have to stop you there. I person have NEVER chosen anyone over anyone." At this point I shut down. I ended the call and fell into a deeper depression hole that the nurses took weeks to pull me out of.
A few days before my release I saw my dad and I brought up the situation asking what's happening with it and he and mum had any conclusions around me not having to see sibling and he snapped and dismissively said "What do you expect me to do about it? I think the best thing is if you just move on and not dwell on stuff." Again I shut down and once again the batton was passed back to me to hold.
See that's what I've been doing my entire life. Carrying it so my family don't get upset, excusing my parents, excusing my sibling, justifying them. I've carried this burden, the blame, the self hatred and it's nearly killed me so many times. I just don't want to do it anymore. To carry it for them.
I got out 3 weeks ago and have slowly been returning to life, my parents barely contacted me for a week after I got out and I was supposed to be putting inplace boundaries, but felt too bad/missed them too much. They haven't asked how I am or how I'm feeling, because they don't want my answer. My mum ended up booking this weekend away just the two of us, but I ended up feeling this overwhelming sense that I shouldn't be going away with her, especially whilst I'm barely well again and I said I'm not ready for an overnight. Naturally I've got the usual silent treatment from her. I just feel so guilty, but again it's brought up all of this.
It's like my gut is screaming at me CUT THEM OFF, but I'm scared and I love them, even if they are toxic. I'm hesitant to unpick in therapy and scared I'm just going to go back to denial. Every person I've spoken to has suggested I cut them off for at least a few months, just while I focus on therapy and finally processing the trauma. I'm just so scared to do this. I want my parents around and I want them to love me, but they just can't do that in the way I need and I'm really scared of hurting them.
At the same time I know I NEED to put myself first and work through this, I think I need to let go with love, just for a bit.
Sorry this ended up being miles longer than expected, if anyone's read to the end of this misery, do you have any advice or words of encouragement, or alternatively if I'm being unreasonable please let me know. I just want to get this right, because right now I'm just sick of hurting.
submitted by imbiggay96
to CPTSD [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:40 ogreatgames Driver You Are The Wheelman: Action Driving Game - PS1 Game
| || | submitted by ogreatgames to Ogreatgames [link] [comments]
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Hey check out similar videos here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05uKspxQ89s&list=PLVduyMnVQjzNYPljUBqwgAXdMPQ9CEKWY
2023.05.31 01:39 letmequestionyouthis I [31m] am absolutely terrified at the idea of living without my mother [57m].
I’m 31 years old, spent my early 20s away at college, spent mid/late twenties traveling and working around the US. I have recently moved back to my hometown and happened to purchase a house near my mother (not necessarily on purpose, just what I could afford). I realize that I see my mother nearly every day, definitely talk to her on the phone at least once a day, text throughout the day, etc. I rely on her opinion heavily when making decisions, I vacation with her, talk to her about my day and my problems. I realize that I actually talk about her A LOT to coworkers (“oh my mom does that, my mom has been there” etc).
I lost my father suddenly to suicide when I was 19, and I am absolutely terrified of losing my mother. I also realize that my relationship with her is probably TOO close. I feel like I rely on her for everything. If she were to be gone suddenly I literally have no idea how I would live / survive. I would argue that both of my sisters [29f, 22f] have similar attachment to my mother (she is on the phone with them all the time, they get each other very worked up).
Anyways, I don’t know what to do. I have strived for independence in some aspects of my life (I have a job, a house, a car) but emotionally I am so attached to my mother. It does strike me as Freudian and weird.
Anyone been in this situation? How can I start being an independent adult while still maintaining a happy/healthy relationship with my mother?
TL;DR I’m an adult man who is overly attached/dependent on their mother.
submitted by letmequestionyouthis
to relationships [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:38 Internal-Doubt-5431 Feelings
I'm going to try to put the feeling of being with you in words and I'm not sure if it is possible. But I need to try because the intensity of it is like my entire life focused on one moment in time. All that matters are these moments with you. Feeling alive. Feeling every part of my body. Feeling such absolute pure joy that I can't help but laugh and then when I realize we are laughing together.... But it's so intense that I can't function in my daily life. I'm failing in my responsibilities, so I feel like I need to stop these feelings. I don't know how.
Rationally, I know that I'm just another person here appreciating what you have to offer. But all week I almost feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel connected to you in a way that transcends my physical body. You've got me believing in the esoteric and I'm a scientist.
Rationally, I know that I'm attaching fantasy to you as I transition through a major shift in my life. But all week I dream about you while I'm awake. Every day at 1400, I have to stop what I'm doing and lay down. I'm barely functioning right now. I feel so raw and honest and open. Everything has meaning. Everything is overflowing with breath and life.
Rationally, I know that I'm one of many for you. But I feel like the only one when we press our bodies together. I want to stop what we are doing. Make some lame excuse. But I can't stop. I can't stop seeing you. I can't stop feeling you. I can't stop wanting to be near you.
Please. Please. Make this longing go away, one way or the other. Either don't be so kind to me or hold me closer. I just need to... breath.
submitted by Internal-Doubt-5431
to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:38 StillIce8 Customer Tells me to Slow Down
Background about me. I have ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder, so I get overwhelmed easily. I work at a gas station that sells milkshakes and made to order food. Today, I had two coworkers call off so my manager had me watch drive thru, make milkshake and watch the register. There was a point in the day where I had 4 milkshakes on my screen, 5 people in line (half of them could have use self checkout but they refuse) and 4 cars in the drive thru. I was running back and forward like a headless chicken. While I checking a customer out at the register, this customer has the nerves to tell me to slow down. In the heat of the moment, I snapped and said I can't. I know I shouldn't have snapped but I was exhausted and stress out. I started work at 8am and this happened at 4pm. Customers need to learn to read the room. Don't tell someone who is running around to slow down.
submitted by StillIce8
to RantsFromRetail [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:38 AutoModerator Biaheza's Dropshipping Course (latest)
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submitted by AutoModerator
to BiahezaLessons [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:38 emmatuffnuts Weird oil stains after washing?
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For awhile now I’ve been getting these dark spots on my clothes when I wash them. I use free and clear detergent, measure it out, even when our washer was brand new this was happening but I’ve also cleaned it and I’m still seeing these spots. It’s driving me insane. Does anyone know what could be causing this? submitted by emmatuffnuts to CleaningTips [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:37 Present-Shoe-8074 Stuck in Thailand : The Never-ending Story
This is a long story guys if you don’t wanna read it’s fine. Okay, so where should I start. On April 4th me and my 2 friends decided to leave London and ditch reality and go Thailand to live a “new life” you could call it. This was our first long holiday outside of Europe and we was planning to go for a month +.
Long story short we went Bangkok first for a couple of days and then got cab from there to Pattaya in which we stayed for 2-3 nights I forgot honestly. Nothing to wild but Russian dancers in Pattaya and sight seeing in Bangkok. It was our most touristy moments of this story and we was doing what we planned and was living day by day.
After, my friend wanted to go to phuket for songkran in which we went to Bangkok and took a flight. We were staying just near the airport a little village (don’t wanna give location) where there was only families and not really anyone there but we didn’t know much about Phuket.
Once we checked in to our hotel we wanted to see what was near where we were staying. The guards told us there was no one here everyone’s near phuket town/pattong. We were far around 1 hour from pattong and we needed transportation and we went to a rental company literally next to our hotel in which they rented me a car but I didn’t have a license well he never actually asked me. I know what your thinking and yes we rented the car gave 16000 baht for the month and 3,000 for deposit. We had the car for about 2 weeks till everything went wrong.
We met someone famous and hung out with him for the night. We were caught up in this fantasy in Patong and we were on xannax and lean and by this point I had fractured my foot from a ditch in the floor and no I didn’t get travel insurance. I’m an idiot but I was never the injury guy I had broken 0 bones and injury’s in general prior to Thailand apart from a finger fracture.
I know I’m an idiot, I’m so dumb I shouldn’t have but we were so drunk I had a girl I had taken home the night before and my friend had a girl called Stacy. We had drove to pattong and must’ve just came out of illusion or empire me and my friends are 22. Forgot to say. I had never done xannax before this trip but my friends did it and I knew if my one friend did it it couldn’t have been that bad. I was so fucked we went to the car I was like let me drive all gassed and pumped up but I was so high I didn’t know it. I drove about 2/3 mins and crashed the car accidentally ( I know what I did please I have had to live with this I know I’m stupid) I blacked out, I don’t even remember crashing. I like woke up as soon as we crashed, I tried to drive and get away Thais we’re trying to stop the car, but my friend Rk was saying he should drive I got away not injuring anyone and I let him drive. We got about 5 mins from the crash and we got caught up with the police. They arrested Rk and thought he did the crash.
We went to the station and Stacy was Thai she was talking to the officers. I said it was me to the officers with Rk next to me I admitted what I did and he was saying go away. Not wanting to hear what I was saying I’m lying. They took Rk for drunk driving because he was over the limit.
I took out the car in my name which they didn’t know yet. They said they were detaining Rk till we got his passport and 30,000 Baht for the guy we crashed into he dropped it down from 40 he was a local and friends with the policeman to my understanding.
We had to be quick because they had Rk in the cells they let me see him before we left. I felt so bad for him I wanted to be quick. I only had 200 baht in my pocket and some money on card and my passport for deposit .I went to the nearest moped place (not knowing where I was in Patong.) My other friend drove mopeds at home and was a good driver so I let him drive me on the back. I should’ve drove how stupid that sounds. He crashed the ped and I fell off the back witch serious injury’s. Part one over it’s to laggy to continue.
submitted by Present-Shoe-8074
to ThailandTourism [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:36 appulfox So Far, 2023 Has Kicked My Hiney Backwards & Forwards And I'm Tired
Hi so, I'm Leo , and at this point in time, halfway through 2023 to be precise, I'm starting to lose hope in thinking I'll ever be happy in life.
To premise, let's think about life like a game. I was nerfed at birth (foot deformity, asthma), I was put into a server where my skills are either misunderstood, or not very useful for this server (Autism, ADHD), most of my patches have been nerfs (abuse, trauma resulting in multiple different disorders that I will not detail). And while everyone around me seems to be doing better off (they were in the correct servers and have had more balanced patches), bc of my terrible stats (some of which have to be menued into or are just invisible), I'm expected to have the same stats and level as everyone in the server. I've found others with stats similar to mine, but most of my life, I've been unaware of what my stats were.
With that out of that way, let's get into the meat n potatoes of why I'm wallowing in self pity on this subreddit (I'm painfully self aware to the point of questioning my own reality, lol I don't need acid, I've got my fucked up brain and derealization for free).
I came back home from a convention, pooped and all socialed out. That past week going on until even today, I'd been dealing with Uber not refunding me 300+ for services unrendered (the company, not a driver). Next, I got charged 1500 for dents in a rental car that weren't there when I dropped it off. To clarify, this was in Atlanta. My mom said that the dents looked like they came from a tow truck and were small enough for anyone to miss. So there's THAT. Next, my sciatic nerve in my left foot/leg was, and still is, having it's flare ups (feels like an unbearably sharp, pinching pain) as well as my foot deformity (pes planovalgus deformity, aka fallen arch, I have no arch at ALL on my right foot and a little bit on my left foot), plus, I have an old MCL injury that flares up sometimes too (left knee). The PP deformity (hehe) makes pain shoot up to my knee, hip, and lower back. I own a cane bc of all of this. Because of the fact that I'd been working at a labor heavy job for the last 6-7 months (UPS), the pain in my feet and legs was exacerbated causing me to be unable to walk at times. I communicated this to my boss, letting him know that I was unsure of my options. Two days later, with no answer from my boss, I received an email from Workday to do an "Exit Survey" and say that I was terminated. This has all happened in the span of 2½ weeks.
Billy Mays voice But WAIT, there's MORE :'D
Before that all happened, around I think February, I suffered from a concussion at work. I'm still technically healing from it. On the side, I do freelance artwork (I draw furries, get your laughs out now, no one cares), and usually, I'm able to work on art for 8 hours or more at a time. When I was first healing, I could only do maybe 2½ hours drawing (I own an iPad and a monitor tablet), then it bumped up to 4 hours, and I just now am able to tentatively reach 6 hours of work before I have to take like a 1-2 hour break away from my screen. This has slowed my work down immensely and has made it unviable for me to take on more work (burn out is a thing and I want to stay faaarrrrrr away from it).
Now here I am, almost June, unemployed and unable to take on more freelance work until I finish my current queue of clients.
I am at the point of realizing that I'm a lot more disabled than I'd been presenting myself. I'm 24 with a cane, I have chronic pain, and I'm autistic as all hell. Hell, my hip has been bothering me for the last few days. All I've been doing the last few days is working on art and applying for the few jobs in my town that won't exacerbate my disability.
I feel like a failure, looking at where I am, and I just wish that I could breathe. I want a break from constantly struggling, even when I'm trying my hardest. I was a hard worker and one of the best loaders at my Hub, and I tried to tough it out, but everyone has a limit when it comes to pain, and I reached mine.
I just wish it didn't result in losing my source of income and feeling practically useless in my household of 3.
Thanks for listening I guess.
submitted by appulfox
to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:35 Curly_Melly [QCrit] WEAPONS OF POWER - YA Fantasy - 97k (7th Attempt) + First 300 Words
I'm back! Two and half months and a complete revision later and I'm back with my 7th (wow, seven) attempt at this. I took a lot of your suggestions to heart and had some help from a fellow lurker on this subreddit with the blurb and first 300 words. Also, I would love your opinion on how to make my bio section betteless boring. As always, thanks in advance for your help!
Here are my past attempts: 1
, 6 Query:
Hello, [Agent Name]
I am so excited to share my 97,000-word YA Fantasy novel WEAPONS OF POWER with you! Combining the atmospheric, Arabian-inspired setting from Hafsah Faizal’s We Hunt the Flame
and Maiya Ibrahim’s The Spice Road
with the strange and mystical monsters from the famed multimedia series The Witcher
, WEAPONS OF POWER is a standalone with series potential.
When a Champion dies, another must be selected.
Tales of the desert’s danger have been told for as long as the seven clans have existed. In an effort to quench her inexplicable longing for the open horizon, seventeen-year-old Leona ventures beyond her clan’s borders despite the legends that warn against it.
Out there, beyond the sand-dusted and wind-worn structures, she encounters her clan’s Champion—a cruel, arrogant man that wields one of the clans’ most sacred weapons—bloodied, broken, and dead at the hands of monsters that were supposed to be nothing more than myths. Now, the Trials to select a new Champion must be held and Leona cannot get the monster she saw out of her head. Her obsession drives her to join the sacred competition in search of the truth, forced to disguise herself as a man and hide her participation from her family.
As the Trials continue, instead of Leona’s investigation leading her further into the desert as she expected, it leads her into the heart of her clan. There, she finds a bizarre creature that looks to be more man than monster and realizes that there is more to the Champions' secrets than she thought. Caught between two worlds, Leona is forced to make a choice—uncover the truth and return to her simple life once the Trials are over or give up everything she’s ever known to join the fight against the desert’s monsters.
I have a BA in Creative Writing from [University] and am currently pursuing an MLS at [University]. My work has been published within SUNY Geneseo’s Gandy Dancer and awarded the Mary Louise White Award. This will be my debut novel.
The first [#] pages are pasted below, as per your submission guidelines. First 300:
The hounds are antsy. They prance around the small garden, snapping at each other on the verge of violence. The dogs slam into their gate and it rattles on its flimsy hinges. The latch is rust-covered and on its last legs—one good hit would be enough to break its hold on the wooden post.
“What are you doing, Leona?”
Blinking, she turns. Bez stands to her side, his face twisted into a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. Though his expression may appear hostile, she can see through his angry façade with little effort. She can almost visualize that exact expression on his much younger self. All that’s missing are worried tears.
The sun blazes down on them, casting his face in dark shadows that draw his features down. Sweat prickles at her hairline and an arid breeze drifts down the sand-dusted street. Her skirts flow with it, whipping around her legs and becoming tangled.
She straightens her skirts and looks back to the horizon. “I’m not doing anything.”
His eyes narrow. “Clearly, you’re doing something. You’ve been standing here since dawn.”
She huffs a sigh. Something is constricting around her chest, a band that grows tighter the longer she ignores it. Her very being thrums with want. Just the thought of an open horizon and the desert’s flat expanse makes her heart ache.
Leona looks back to Bez. “And what’s so wrong with that? Will my mother be wroth that I’m simply standing outside, now? How absolutely wicked of me!”
A flush rises up his neck and to his cheeks, reddening the bronze skin into a deep russet. His shoulders stiffen and his jaw clenches. She stifles a smile and turns away. It’s always so easy to rile him up.
“Be serious,” Bez demands. “Tell me what you’re doing.”
submitted by Curly_Melly
to PubTips [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:34 Ok-Interest-982 30 [MF4M] Rochester - Couple. Looking for guys that’d want to team up on the wife.
Adventurous couple here, staying at a hotel near Rochester (in Henrietta). Looking to have some fun.
Wife is a total sub. Likes to be dominated and loves to be of service, especially to multiple men. I get off on sharing her and we are both very laid back, respectful of boundaries, and we’re both clean/disease free (recently tested and can verify).
Looking for other guys that are down for a group experience. Show her a good time. Team up on her with me. We’ve got beers, wine, and tequila in the room (can make it a party). Staying through Friday AM and can host at our room.
We have pics we can share as well. Look forward to connecting!
submitted by Ok-Interest-982
to upstatenyr4r [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:33 Only_Albatross_4481 Mattress and bed frame delivery
Hello does anyone know affordable companies that can carry a mattress and bed frame in a truck and deliver it to me ? My family has a car but it’s to small to fit the mattress and frame. It’s being picked up from a family member apartment to out apartment only a 5 minute drive but it can’t fit in a car and I don’t think Uber or Lyft has trucks so does anyone know any companies that will pick them up and deliver it ?
submitted by Only_Albatross_4481
to Brooklyn [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:33 Unique_Escape6617 I have a bossy coworker and need to know what to say
Ok so I (f) work at DQ. this girl has worked there before call her Kelly. So here's how it went: I show up in the morning at 9 30 to start prepping for chill. And the day goes on. At 4 in the evening this Kelly shows up and has the WORST first impression for me. She starts pouring a blizzard while the boss was introducing us. The machine is super loud and drowned his voice out. And then when the boss repeated himself she looked at me and I said hello again and then she "went back to work" another situation she is blending a blizzard and I'm wringing a rag out to wipe a blender down with the rag and bucket and she says "are there dishes to wash?" Note that the sink is like 2 feet away she couldn't just look. And then I said yes and she was like "can you wash them I need the sink so I can wash my taylor" (the ice cream machine) so I did and then she asked me if the restock was all used ALSO 2 feet away. And then she would tell me to make the blizzards and whatnot for drive thru cause her fat ass is sitting on the floor pulling apart a taylor at 4 30 in the evening right before the rush! And then before the machine was apart she told me to use the other one which wasn't letting the soft serve out soft it was just bursting and not doing its job. So I had a milkshake and a mocha thing that needed the soft serve and she is just standing there and the spout that works on the other machine is doing NOTHING not being used just waiting for me to come use it.... I'm pissed off and she was treating me like she was the boss. Aka that was from 4 to 5 30 and has ruined my week. I've been at DQ for about a month and I know what I'm doing I'd say. Sometimes I need help but she made me feel like I was completely unaware of what I was doing. But anyway she is just bossy and useless herself. And smells like BO too. So someone tell me what I should say to get her to lay off.
submitted by Unique_Escape6617
to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:33 rassmann Work station
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
I am looking for a PC that will let me use at least 3 monitors. My basic internet usage is streaming TV while using lots of browser widows. I moderate a very large subreddit, so the biggest thing is something that will be fast enough to let me trudge through all the shit quickly and go on with my day.
Ideally, I would want something that would let me also play Master Chief Collection on Steam as well, though this isn't a huge factor as I only try to open it maybe once or twice a year.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
Value and performance are the most important things here. I am a broke bitch, so I don't want to spend any more than I need to, but I rather put money up front for a good product than spend another ten years working with lag and frustration. I just don't want to spend money on power I don't need or won't use. I'd like something that will last me a long time if possible. I'd like to be under $400, but I could go as high as $1000
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
Illinois, and I can get to a Micro Center.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Various monitors, currently 1 HDMI, 1 VGA. I'm not sure what the third will be.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
I don't have a copy of windows, but I could clone my old hard drive.
Extra info or particulars:
submitted by rassmann
to buildapcforme [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:33 paradisemoon_ 18F/NB looking for a long term [relationship][friendship]!!
Hello hello welcome to my post!! So to start I’m 18 years old. I’m from the U.S., CST time!
To get to know me a bit!! I love love music! Any kind like techno, dubstep, rock, indie, alt, pop, literally anything mostly! Music makes me feel a wide range of emotions and I love it. Big foodie, love sweets a lot. I love drawing, writing, and poetry! I actually write poetry and I don’t write as often because it’s kind of a coping skill but sometimes I will write when I’m in deep thought also. Gaming, love all kinds of games! Roblox, MC, Visual Novels, Borderlands, Sims, horror games etc. I love nature, and animals, I’m honestly fascinated by life which I couldn’t say a few years ago but I can now. Like watching cars drive, like watching people interact with each other, and seeing people being kind to one another is something I love to see. Cooking and baking as well! I love to cook and bake, even though I can’t as much now but when I can I love doing it. I love nighttime! I also love deep conversations because I find it to be a great way to connect with people. Watching TV Shows, Movies, YouTube videos, podcasts, and anime I’m starting soon! I need to figure out where I want to start haha I also love musical instruments, play clarinet every now and then but have been for 9 years. It’s something I love and enjoy when I do play even if it’s not often. Being around family and talking to friends, something I value a lot!!
Deep conversations, I feel like it’s a good way to connect with someone.
Self care, I’ve been doing a lot of things to take care of myself like getting my self something I really wanted and just learning about myself and growing and have healed a lot!!
All things horror, mystery, thriller, psychological love it!!
Mental health is very important to me too, and I think it’s an important thing to discuss and check in on how others are doing as well.
So that’s a bit about me!! If you are interested, feel free to message me!! Have a good day or I hope you do even if you just read this!! :)
submitted by paradisemoon_
to MeetPeople [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:33 LJamH If I drove to Ukraine would I be allowed entry?
It may be impossible to plan a flight due to the war. But if I got in my car and started driving towards Ukraine would anyone stop me?
submitted by LJamH
to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 01:32 The_Alloquist [A Lord of Death] - Chapter 49
[←Chapter 48] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 50→]
As soon as he placed the tip of the blade against the stone, a crawling dread swept over. He held it there for a moment, trying to tabulate the functions of the tool, but nothing but raw guesswork remained to him. He heard the footsteps of the children and their minders vanishing up the stairs.
“You ready?” he asked Innie.
“No. But don't let that stop you,” she said, wide amber eyes fixed on the door.
There was nothing for it - Efrain steadied his hand and pressed the black blade into the stone. It was a relatively simple application of magic, almost instinctual, to activate the tool. He projected down into the chisel end, where stiff filaments would pierce the wall and sink deep within. This defeated the function of the chisel, but he already suspected that some of the features were more ornamental.
The next part was slightly more complicated, angling the blade up and down until he’d pressed the furled tips to the smooth surface. They sank in as well, leaving him holding the blade spine nearly parallel to the wall. Slowly, taking painstaking care not to twist the metal, he drew it down.
The stone split apart and drew back, guided through the furls and out, revealing a thin line in the stone. There was a silent thrill that fought against the dread as the hairline crack grew larger and larger. Finally, he reached the floor, and drew the knife out of the stone with minimal resistance.
With one last look at his partner, he placed both hands on the door and began to push.
There was a grinding squeal as the heavy stones slid open and out. Past, there was a thick darkness that blotted out most of the detail, even with the magelight active. Efrain took two steps and raised it high, its luminosity increasing as it rose. Even so, it flickered as the smothering cold poured out of the chamber, casting wavering shadows on the surrounding stone walls.
A moment of grim satisfaction availed him - he had surmised correctly about the room being some sort of important tomb. Large alcoves with carved-relief tombs marched off into the dark, twinned pillars marking each and every one. A vaulted ceiling spanned the passage, faded mosaics depicting unknown scenes of times past.
In fact, it would’ve been a place that Efrain could easily see himself working in. Painstakingly brushing off the faded paint and chipped stone, recreating the designs in book after book. Days and nights of note taking, trying to piece together the story of what this place was and why it was here. Unfortunately, the beauty of that vision was marred by the hostile darkness that wrapped around the vault.
He and Innie cautiously crept forward, the light above his head pushing back the heavy shadows. Her fur stood on end, amber eyes inspecting every little pittance, every corner past where something might hide. Efrain was much the same way, expecting something to detach itself from the stone and give chase.
Yet, there was nothing, no movement, no sudden gleam of hostile eyes. Just the stone, and the ever deepening cold.
Finally, they reached the depths of the tomb, a handful of steps that lead down into a wider room. In the muddy light he cast, he saw something large and round, sitting slumped over what looked to be an altar of some kind. There was no aggression that he could feel, no stirring of the thing in response to their presence, just the cold that poured off it.
As he entered through the arched steps, he realised that the thing was making sounds. A wet, gurgling noise, that was rather uncomfortably reminiscent of the creatures from the fog. The sound of a throat that had been crushed and twisted by the weight of its deformities. Still, it lacked the rage that came with the things that had crashed on the church roof or swarmed its outer wall.
Efrain took another few steps and stood before the round mass, slightly taller than he was, peering closely as its features came into relief. When he realised what it was, he felt a stomach that no longer existed turn over on itself. There were pale bumps and ridges where there might’ve been anatomical landmarks at one point. Various malformed limbs jutted out and merged back into the structure, some recognizable, some alien. The flesh shuddered and writhed as he neared it, groans and gurgles exiting various gashes and holes in its surface.
What was far, far worse, however, was what he discovered when he looked within.
Innie must’ve discovered it at the same time, issuing a violent wail of disgust and grief. Efrain staggered away, trying to steady himself on one of the pillars as his vision swam. The self-hatred, the sorrow, the unbelievable nauseating pain that issued from the thing was enough to make him wish he never came here. Its magic was even worse - an indescribable warped abomination that should’ve never been borne into existence.
It took a herculean effort to remain standing, fighting the physically impossible urge to sink to his knees and vomit. Innie was slamming herself into a pillar in a mad horror, and his gaze slid to the knife in his hand. The terrible revelation was like an explosion in his mind.
He could almost see the priest raising the knife, almost seeing the gears of thought turning in his head. If it could join and separate stone, what else could it pull asunder? A terrible demon, removed from a child, think of the praise, think of the tithes, think of the reaffirmation of the faith!
Innie lay on the ground, curled and shivering, her wails fallen into a grim silence, punctuated only by quiet sobs. Efrain stood there, feeling the knife slip to clatter on the ground. The thing twitched and issued another moan as it undulated from its base to top.
Somewhere in the corners of his mind he wondered if somewhere in the mass the priest was still alive. It would be a ghastly fate, and a deserved one, to be trapped in this fleshy prison. But what had happened to the wisp matriarch’s power? Why was there a ghost appearing to Aya and granting her access to the flames?
Shrinking back into himself, he huddled by the wall - more than anything, he wanted to be away from here. He wanted to be in his isolated little castle in a far-away mountain. He wanted a cup of tea, and a good book, and to forget such horrible things could exist in this world.
But alas, he was here, he had made the choice to come here, and it made the choice to open the door.
It’s not fair, he thought, numbly, why must it be me?
Innie had stopped sobbing, merely lying there in a terrible stillness. Not dead, nor was she injured beyond superficiality, rather trapped in the depths of paralytic grief. But it would soon fade, Efrain knew for it was happening to him. All that stupefaction, swept away by rage.
There were footsteps, far behind him, a set of them, hurrying down the tomb corridor. Distant faces, barely distinguishable from the darkness, emerged past the arches, still some distance away. Their eyes were straining, faces scrunched up as they tried to pierce the gloom, not yet realising the dire horror that awaited them.
Maybe it was in a spirit of mercy that Efrain rose, and turned toward the cat. More likely, it was the rage that was boiling just under the surface, only held by the thinnest membrane of numbness. The stones under Innie were beginning to be cast in a red light as her fur began to glow, despite the damping of her magic.
“What is that?” called one of the paladins from down the hall.
Efrain said nothing as he faced the horrible fusion of the priest and girl, twitching and moaning. He didn’t need to.
Flames rose into the air, exhaustion no longer a barrier as Innie rose to her height. The cat was melting, dribbling down on the floor as the true form of the wisp mother bled through in a pillar of yellow-red light. The temperature of the room shot up from icy to lukewarm in an instant as flames began to crawl across the stone and reached for the abomination.
The paladins had reached the threshold, thrusting their charges behind them as they gazed upon the scene. They were reaching for their swords, even as the flames grew in heat and intensity. The mass did not attempt to lash rather bellowed as the fire licked, shuddering so violently Efrain thought it might come apart. It coiled and twitched as the flames rose up its side, the smell of burning flesh filling the room.
Efrain didn’t even look at it, merely fixing his stare on the church insignia, emblazoned on the plate of the paladins. The screams rose to a fever pitch, met by a furious roaring and crackling of the ever-growing blaze. There was one last desperate burst of coldness that rolled over him, dimming the firelight for a moment, and turning the paladin’s pale.
Then, as if a floodgate was opened, his magic was no longer suppressed, and the fires roared to new heights. The thing had been submerged in a pillar of red and yellow flames, leaping up almost to the tall ceiling of the room. In the back of Efrain’s mind, he realised it wasn’t wise that the fire would eat the air up so deep in the earth. He did nothing.
He simply stood there, staring at the paladins without a word.
“Efrain,” croaked Innie.
He turned to see the charred remains slumping to the floor. In its centre, no longer bound, floated a thin ring of yellow blue flame. The fragment shed little bright rivulets like downy feathers, soft sparks fading into Innie’s blaze.
The rage drove Efrain forward, knowing what was about to happen and what he was about to do. No rational impulse was going to stop him now. Innie was in lockstep with him as he knelt down before the remains, the flames parting as he reached in. The paladins were screaming something as he closed his hand around the ring, and felt his world come to life.
The fire was no longer just fire, it was light itself, so blindingly bright and hot that stones around them began to glow. Efrain felt something immense move into him, a wall of molten power moving enough momentum to sweep him away. The traces of the wisp matriarch entered the man and the cat, and in that moment they were its avatar.
He rose, and the blue-yellow blaze rose with him, fanning over the whole room. At some point, the paladins had grabbed their charges and ran for dear life. Efrain was almost beyond thought as he began to make for the stairs. Every step was a burden, his body rattling uncontrollably with each footfall.
Step-by-step, the pair made their way through the corridor, leaving a sea of flame in their wake. The stone glowed with the rage of their passing, murals utterly destroyed, features beginning to run like wax on the carven reliefs. The only thing untouched by the flames was the black doors, a constant wall in the flames.
As he made his way into the crypts, leaving glass footprints in the sand, he became dimly aware that his robes were beginning to smoke. The magic coursing through him was not meant for him to wield - memory, knowledge, consciousness, all seemed to fall away at its burning touch.
He was being consumed, he and Innie both as they channelled the might of the matriarch, fraction as it was. The burst of magic on the roof was nothing compared to what they now held within themselves. This was a primal power, far grander than anything they’d seen in their long lives.
The passage was beginning to groan and warp, the stone beginning to run as he found his way to the spiral stair. Step-by-step, gripping the walls for purchase, he managed to drag himself up. Every rise was harder than the one that came before it, and soon he was climbing mountains with each step. The stones trembled at his touch, his hands leaving glowing impressions. Soon they too fell into the wall of conflagration that rose behind him.
Still, onward and upward he climbed, higher and higher, past the entrance to the church and to the roof. Night had finally fallen, the sounds of battle beginning as the monsters moved for the final assault. The posted guards screamed warnings of ‘fire!’ ‘fire!’ and shouted prayers as Efrain crawled his way onto the roof. They must’ve thought this some terrible new monster, something immune to their burning brands.
“Leave. Now,” Efrain said, the words slurring as he forced them into the air.
The men were quick to take his advice, but stopped at the tower stairs, staring in horror at the dripping stone. Some looked to the edge, preparing to leap to avoid the frame.
In the midst of the tumult, some bare fraction of Efrain remained to recognize the arbitrary cruelty of their position. He reached out, not to the men but beyond them, and plucked the heat from the stones. With a gust of warm air, they cooled rapidly from molten red to survivable grey. Somewhere, the scholar in Efrain screamed at the indignity of this impossible action.
But this was a magic of fundamentals. It did not stoop to petty things like ‘rules’.
The men, seeing their chance, hurled themselves down the stairs. With their absence, there was nothing left to restrain the power. The flames poured out like water, spilling over the walls of the church, roaring into the sky. Efrain didn’t think about the memory, intent, or emotion, nor any mechanical aspect of the magic - where he wanted, the world burned.
What little left of his mind felt memories of times and places foreign to him roar through his mind. The chaos of his mind lent him very little clarity, sights were smells, sounds were feelings, a cacophony of sensations raced through him faster and faster. In that blurring conundrum, he could see a single, core memory, one that drove all others.
A sunlit place, far away near a golden sea, a funeral, a birth, both at the same time, a tall figure, singing of purpose.
With a final effort, he called the magic to him, hoping to gain some vestige of control. The flames coiled and twisted and condensed, collapsing into an ever-tighter sphere as nature did its work. Heat itself lifted off the melting slates of the roof, absorbed into the mass at his fingertips, leaving a bright ball no bigger than his fist.
The world hung in that moment, the sounds of battle far away, screams of human and monster distant memories. In that moment of brief lucidity, Efrain held a star in his hand.
Then with a tremendous expansion of sound and rage and fire, a blast of hot wind ripped the fog away from the hill and scattered it across the highlands. Men and monsters were sent sprawling, the creatures flying on the icy mist spiralling and falling to earth.
Now the true force of the enemy was revealed - hundreds, perhaps as many as a thousand on the hill beyond. It was only a matter of time before they would rise over the wall, dismantle the barricades, and slaughter the defenders. Men, women, even children who’d worked so hard to defend their homes and lives. All rended to pieces because a little girl had gone for a little hike.
Chains were wrapping around Efrain, white hot and heavy, pulling him to the roof, disintegrating the spells that held him together. He was smoking in truth now and might catch flame at any moment. At his back, felt rather than seen, was an immense twisting whirlwind. It reached up and out into the night, its sudden light blotting out the stars. At its very centre, a consciousness took form within the power, something that wished for nothing more than to reduce all to ash. Efrain turned to the creatures that squirmed and charged below, heedless of the peril above.
He barely even perceived what happened next.
There was one final roar, louder and more violent than anything he’d ever heard of, conceived of, and would likely ever hear again. Branches extended down from the fire, great scouring fingers that swept across the earth, tearing down fruit trees, barely missing the barricades, and spilling down the hill.
The creatures came to meet it, not even turning aside as the heat and light submerged them. Perhaps they couldn’t even understand death anymore, so far gone was their nature. In a heartbeat, they faltered in the tide of flame, falling to the ground as they burned to ash. Dozens of them went in an instant as the power of Wisp Matriarch did its terrible work.
The fingers swept down past the outer wall, two tendrils splitting and crashing back together in a fountain of fire. The great bulk of the monsters were burnt into mere shadows on the cobbles. Efrain’s vision began to darken as his last vestiges of consciousness began to fail. He felt a draining sensation, the last of the magic of the matriarch flowing out into the night.
The heat that ate away at his very being was gone now, leaving behind a scorched emptiness. He fell to the ground, his limbs barely weak enough to prop himself up against the church roof. Innie, once more a cat, dragged herself over to him, curling on his lap as her eyes closed.
Too late, he remembered the curse upon the mask. That must’ve been the draining sensation, now that he’d let so much magic flow through it, it was sucking him dry. He tried vainly for some way to stem the flow, but he was so tired, so weak. Looking down, he noted that the church, although singed, was still more-or-less intact. There was a strange mix of regret and relief at the observation.
His voice, now a drab, thin thing, echoed out, remembering the conversation he’d had with Innie about her future plans of arson.
“Sorry, old friend,” he said, “I think I missed.”
Then Efrain Belacore, Baron of the Frozen Vale, and self-titled ‘Lord of Death’, was no more. [←Chapter 48] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 50→]
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2023.05.31 01:32 i_alkaline Should I move back home?
Feeling homesick lately.. After my parents died i’ve barely come back, only a handful of times.. But lately I feel like I should make up for all the time i’ve missed back there..
For some background, i’m 32. I grew up near Palmyra. I moved to California when I was 22. Lived there for 5 years and then moved to Mexico for 2 years. After Mexico I moved to Brazil and have been here the past 2.5 years..
I’m just trying to weigh my options.. Living in big cities for the past decade.. Something has changed in me recently. Maybe I’m ready for a quiet, settled down life.. I miss the food.. the autumns.. I don’t miss the snow 😅, But I think it’s a small price to pay.. Miss my friends.. Miss Eastview and driving on the back country roads..
Just worried about the logistics, like where i’d live.. If i’d rent or lease a car.. If people are nicer there or still kind of rude. Idk, this is just a rant, but maybe someone who’s bored would find this funny or entertaining.
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2023.05.31 01:31 somethingclever3420 Psychiatric nurse practitioner horror story.
CW: Inappropriate behavior, gaslighting Regardless of my attempts, I can never seem to tell a story with brevity. Apologizes!
I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist in a private practice in my early 20s back in the early 2010s. That provider abruptly had his license suspended for sexting a patient (thankfully not my experience, but ooooof). At the time, ADHD didn’t resonate with me. I had the idea of a little boy in grade school being hyperactive. So I agreed to antidepressants. I also had uncontrolled chronic migraines and didn’t want to try any stimulant when he gently suggested it.
Fast forward 5ish years and I’ve listened/read every self help podcast/book, lost extra weight from the antidepressants, lifted weights, did all the things. After trying so hard and still struggling just as much, I started therapy 8/2018. After going weekly for a year and a half, I transferred to a better therapist. My husband and I have individually gone to therapy as well as couples’, weekly since 1/2020.
I have a family history of ADHD. My dad and his 2 brothers all have been diagnosed. My dad started medication 5 years before I was born. My PCP in 2020 confirmed my diagnosis and offered stimulant meds. I declined because I was trying to get pregnant. By the time I had my son, my PCP had left her practice. I found a psychiatrist 10/2021 and started meds. It was life changing. My anxiety all but disappeared, I was more patient, I didn’t get overwhelmed as easily, I didn’t feel mentally drained from treading water, task imitation was easier.
My son is in Occupational Therapy for sensory issues and hyperactivity since he was 13 months. I decided I wanted to get neuro testing for ADHD in order to have an ironclad diagnosis so that if my son ends up also having ADHD and struggling, it helps to point to. And it also helps validate my diagnosis so I don’t have to try to convince providers I’m not faking it. I love my psychiatrist, but he’s an hour away. Since my son is so active, it makes it difficult to make the appointments. I made an appointment with an APRN locally at the same center I’m testing at. I met her today and she was very cold from the jump. She took my history and family history. She told me even though I’m on medication already, she was going to give me her medication spiel. This mental health “professional” looked at me and said “Adderall is one molecule off of meth. Stimulant drugs are basically meth in a pill. I’m not saying it’s a good thing or a bad thing.” She said the shortage wasn’t going to get better. She told me that if I had a biological dopamine deficiency, it would’ve shown up in childhood. I told her I often struggled with talking in class, focusing on subjects I didn’t enjoy, taking tests without making major careless mistakes, etc. She told me everyone did that. I wasn’t a behavioral issue, so it didn’t check out. I explained that anything I’ve ever accomplished (pre medication) was at the expense of everything else in my life and would require such a level of hyper focus and mental energy, I would be burned out to the point that I have avoided projects or long term goals because it took so much. She interrupted me to say “but you did achieve it.” She told me that the neuro testing was only one piece of the puzzle. The self assessment was being answered through the lens of confirming my diagnosis. So an unbiased neuro assessment isn’t good enough evidence. But my assessment isn’t valid because I’m biased and looking for a specific answer? She says that because I still struggle with the impulse of moving on to something else prior to finishing the first task on meds is proof I’m “at most borderline” so there’s only so much improvement to be seen when things are so minor. If I had ADHD I’d see MAJOR improvement and not want to still jump from task to task. But when I say I don’t expect it to “cure” me, she agreed there’s no magic pill…… She told me that the improvement of symptoms with medication is true for anyone on stimulants “like someone on cocaine.”. I genuinely have not felt more dismissed by a medical professional, which is really saying something. I doubt when I finish the neuro testing tomorrow, regardless of results, it will matter. I take the 2nd neuro test tomorrow, and I doubt regardless of the results will it matter to her. Guess I’ll keep making the drive at least I get good care. TL;DR- 2 PCPs, 2 psychiatrists diagnosis, personal experience on meds, a family history, and self assessments aren’t enough to justify my need for stimulant medications.
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