Boromir, Warden of the Tower, 2W
Vigilance
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, if no mana was spent to cast it, counter that spell.
Sacrifice Boromir, Warden of the Tower: Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn. The Ring tempts you.
3/3
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So, any opinions on this little hatebear? It seems like it could be just on the edge of playability in decks looking to slow things down and stax things out, even if its really only hating on a few spells in the format. It protecting your other hatebears seems relevant, as well, even if The Ring doesn't (thank god).

If you really try to understand YHWH, the "Living and True God"... YHWH literally means inhaling and exhaling, which is the fractal of fractals, the infinitely outermost circle of Samsara... It is not Equal to the Demiurgue (gnosticism) or Maya (Buddhism). And Yeshua means "I am/YHWH is liberation"
It is stated numerous times in the Bible that the material world is ruled by Satan and that we have been cast out of paradise from Original Sin... That this world is imperfect and we need redemption.
Not because "God punished us" literally... Remember that the guys who wrote these books lived in ancient times, they were AS SMART AS US but their understanding of the world was not iPad-oriented, but different. If suddenly all crops died and a third of the population was wiped out, they thought "Oh God is punishing us because we weren't obedient enough, we didn't plant the crops early, we must have done something wrong"... Which is a very fucking real thing and SURPRISE: modern science and medicine has its roots in the Christian Church. And the same goes with all the religious rules... The 10 Commandments were a blueprint on how to thrive in society and not perish to the fucking weather like the "Heathens".
In Gnosticism, which is where y'all got this "YHWH is evil" thing... It is also Stated that the material world is imperfect (sinful/demiurge) and only the True forms are perfect. Plato. Greeks portrayed this feeling of "The fall from paradise" by talking about how the perfect spirit of Sophia had become confined to the prison and limitations of matter and that's how the world started.
To explain WHY the Bible is literally reflecting this idea, here's an extract of something called "Novena de Aguinaldos." which is a tradition in my country in which we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ. Remember that "Word" was actually "Logos" in the original greek Gospel of John.
"In the beginning of time the Word rested in the bosom of his Father in the highest heaven; there he was the cause as well as the pattern of all creation. In those depths of an incalculable eternity the Child of Bethlehem remained before he deigned to descend to Earth and visibly took possession of the Bethlehem grotto. That is where we must look for the beginnings that have never begun; from there we must date the genealogy of the eternal, which has no ancestors, and contemplate the life of infinite complacency that led there.
The life of the Eternal Word in the bosom of his Father was a marvelous life and yet, sublime mystery! He seeks another home, a created mansion. It was not because in his eternal mansion something was missing from his infinite happiness, but because his infinite mercy yearned for the redemption and salvation of the human race, which could not be verified without him. Adam's sin had offended God and that infinite offense could not be condoned except through the merits of God himself. Adam's race had disobeyed and deserved eternal punishment; It was therefore necessary to save her and satisfy her guilt, that God, without leaving heaven, take the form of man on Earth and with obedience to the designs of his Father expiate that disobedience, ingratitude and rebellion. It was necessary, in the looks of his love, to take the form, the systematic weaknesses and ignorance of man; to grow to give spiritual growth; to suffer, to teach him to die to his passions and his pride. And for this reason the Eternal Word, burning with the desire to save man, resolved to become a man as well and thus redeem the guilty."

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST = THE SON OF SOPHIA

So i was on dtagons foot and saw this item and thought it would be great as a reward after a dwarven tomb. Let me know if it's too power full for a level 5 group of adventures.
Mummy Dust: World of Ulien Mummy Dust is a 2-handed sword +1, +3 vs undead, triple damage vs. mummies (any flavor).
It is immune to rust, acid, and "slime". It is intelligent (IQ 9) with an ego of (12); communicates to owner by telepathy. This sword may also cast upon its owner a strength spell (1 round) thrice per day.

She posted who should be on Baddies from BGC but I noticed she never mentions any of the original BG ! Like Ripsi she was so iconic. The originals TY and Leslie. Or maybe even someone like Cordelia 🤣 I wonder if the BG even consider them as part of there “BGC sisters”

Daily Modifiers

Vanguard

• Grenadier: Grenade abilities deal more damage and recharge much faster.
• Arc Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Arc damage.
• Void Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Void damage.
• Stasis Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Stasis damage.
• Solar Threat: 25% increase to incoming Solar damage.
• Power Level Disabled: Combatant difficulty is set at a fixed level.

Dares of Eternity

• Daodan Surge: Melee abilities deal more damage and recharge much faster.

Salvage

• Solar Threat: 25% increase to incoming Solar damage.
• Arc Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Arc damage.
• Void Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Void damage.
• Stasis Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Stasis damage.

Deep Dives

• Deep Dive Rules: Successfully complete as many randomly chosen timed encounters as you can before being caught by the foes hunting you! Reach the sea floor to turn the tables, turning the hunters into the hunted! Power Level: Player Power levels are fixed. Each depth activates a new modifier for the remainder of the activity and increases all combatant Power levels over player Power levels. Asha's Gifts: Choose one of two random gifts from Asha at each depth to enhance yourself for the remainder of the activity before taking on the Darkness. Wrathful Predator: Final blows on these unique combatants will reward your fireteam additional time on the objective timer. Rewards: Victory at each depth increases the rewards and challenges of the next. Opt in with your entire fireteam to trigger Pressure Trial versions of activities for even greater rewards!
• Join In Progress Disabled: Your fireteam cannot be joined while in an activity. Return to orbit to add fireteam members.
• Classified: Keep it secret. Keep it safe.
• Classified: Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

Seasonal

Legend/Master Lost Sector

Exotic armor drop (if solo): Unknown
Lost Sector information is currently unavailable. Check the comments!

Neomuna

Terminal Overload: Ahimsa Park

• Weapon: Basso Ostinato (Shotgun)

Misc

• The Wellspring: Attack Weapon: Fel Taradiddle (Combat Bow)
• Altars of Sorrow Weapon: Apostate (Sniper Rifle)

Guns & Materials

Banshee's Featured Weapons

Name	Type	Column 1	Column 2	Column 3	Column 4
The Number	Energy Auto Rifle	Extended Barrel // Polygonal Rifling	Extended Mag // Armor-Piercing Rounds	Killing Wind	Multikill Clip
Nezarec's Whisper	Energy Glaive	Supercooled Accelerator // Low-Impedance Windings	Appended Mag // Swap Mag	Lead from Gold	Adrenaline Junkie
Austringer	Kinetic Hand Cannon	Corkscrew Rifling // Fluted Barrel	Alloy Magazine // High-Caliber Rounds	Snapshot Sights	Zen Moment
Taipan-4fr	Heavy Linear Fusion Rifle	Full Bore // Hammer-Forged Rifling	Accelerated Coils // Projection Fuse	Compulsive Reloader	Firing Line
Tears of Contrition	Kinetic Scout Rifle	Chambered Compensator // Hammer-Forged Rifling	Appended Mag // Alloy Magazine	Auto-Loading Holster	Focused Fury

Perks re-roll at midnight UTC, so check his inventory twice per day!
Note: Fixed perks on weapons are not displayed

Master Rahool's Material Exchange

• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 10 Legendary Shards)
• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 10 Dark Fragment)
• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 10 Phantasmal Fragment)
• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 25 Herealways Piece)
• Enhancement Prism (1 for 10 Enhancement Core & 10000 Glimmer)
• Ascendant Shard (1 for 10 Enhancement Prism & 50000 Glimmer)

Bounties

Commander Zavala, Vanguard

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades	Defeat combatants with grenades. Defeating them in Vanguard playlists grants additional progress.	20 [Grenade] Grenade	XP+
Perfect Energy	Defeat combatants with Special ammo. Fusion Rifle final blows in Vanguard playlists grant additional progress.	20 [Fusion Rifle] Fusion Rifle	XP+
The Inner Storm	Defeat combatants with Arc damage in Vanguard playlists.	25 [Arc] Arc	XP+
Into the Abyss	Defeat combatants with Void damage in Vanguard playlists.	25 [Void] Void	XP+

Lord Shaxx, Crucible

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Burn Bright	Cast your Super.	2 Supers	XP+
Closed Circuit	Defeat opponents with Arc damage from any source.	5 [Arc] Arc	XP+
Peak Efficiency	Defeat opponents in a single life.	2 Streak	XP+
Did You Throw Enough Grenades?	In Mayhem, defeat opponents with grenades.	3 [Grenade] Grenade	XP+

The Drifter, Gambit

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Elite Executioner	Defeat challenging enemies in Gambit.	10 Challenging combatants	XP+
Not Your Mama's Combat Drill	Defeat enemies in Gambit.	50 Targets	XP+
Face-to-Face	Summon Primevals in Gambit by filling up your team's bank.	2 Primevals summoned	XP+
Blind Spot	Defeat Arc blinded targets in Gambit. Defeating Guardians grants more progress.	30 [Arc] Arc blind	XP+

Banshee-44, Gunsmith

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Scout Rifle Calibration	Calibrate Scout Rifles against any target. Earn bonus progress with precision final blows and against opposing Guardians.	100 [Scout Rifle] Scout Rifle	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress
Machine Gun Calibration	Calibrate Machine Guns against any target. Earn bonus progress against opposing Guardians and for additional targets defeated without reloading.	100 [Machine Gun] Machine Gun	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress
Glaive Calibration	Calibrate Glaives against any target. Rapidly defeating targets and defeating Guardians grants additional progress.	100 [Glaive] Glaive	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress
Void Calibration	Calibrate Void weapons against any target. Earn bonus progress using Power weapons and against opposing Guardians.	100 [Void] Void weapon	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress

Nimbus, Neomuna

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Snipers of Myth	In Neomuna, defeat combatants with precision final blows. Vex combatants grant additional progress.	60 [Headshot] Precision	XP+ & 50 Neomuna Rank
Cryogenic Hardening	In Neomuna, defeat combatants affected by Stasis. Vex combatants grant additional progress.	60 [Stasis] Stasis	XP+ & 50 Neomuna Rank
Back to Basics	In Neomuna, defeat combatants with Kinetic weapons.	25 Kinetic weapon	XP+ & 50 Neomuna Rank
Hacker's Paradise	Complete waves in Terminal Overload.	10 Waves cleared	1 Terminal Overload Key & 50 Neomuna Rank & XP+

Sonar Station, H.E.L.M.

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Salvaged Equipment	Open a Salvage Chest.	1 Salvage Chest opened	XP+
Deep Trouble: Taken	Defeat Taken. Taken defeated in Salvage or Deep Dive award bonus progress.	100 Taken	XP+
Quickdraw Aquanaut	Defeat targets with Hand Cannons and Sidearms. Defeated Guardians or combatants defeated in Salvage or Deep Dive activities award bonus progress.	100 Weapon	XP+
Fires in the Deep	Defeat targets with Solar or Strand damage. Melee abilities award bonus progress, as well as defeating Guardians or defeating combatants in Salvage or Deep Dive.	100 Progress	XP+

Daily Modifiers

Vanguard

• Grenadier: Grenade abilities deal more damage and recharge much faster.
• Arc Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Arc damage.
• Void Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Void damage.
• Stasis Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Stasis damage.
• Solar Threat: 25% increase to incoming Solar damage.
• Power Level Disabled: Combatant difficulty is set at a fixed level.

Dares of Eternity

• Daodan Surge: Melee abilities deal more damage and recharge much faster.

Salvage

• Solar Threat: 25% increase to incoming Solar damage.
• Arc Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Arc damage.
• Void Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Void damage.
• Stasis Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Stasis damage.

Deep Dives

• Deep Dive Rules: Successfully complete as many randomly chosen timed encounters as you can before being caught by the foes hunting you! Reach the sea floor to turn the tables, turning the hunters into the hunted! Power Level: Player Power levels are fixed. Each depth activates a new modifier for the remainder of the activity and increases all combatant Power levels over player Power levels. Asha's Gifts: Choose one of two random gifts from Asha at each depth to enhance yourself for the remainder of the activity before taking on the Darkness. Wrathful Predator: Final blows on these unique combatants will reward your fireteam additional time on the objective timer. Rewards: Victory at each depth increases the rewards and challenges of the next. Opt in with your entire fireteam to trigger Pressure Trial versions of activities for even greater rewards!
• Join In Progress Disabled: Your fireteam cannot be joined while in an activity. Return to orbit to add fireteam members.
• Classified: Keep it secret. Keep it safe.
• Classified: Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

Seasonal

Legend/Master Lost Sector

Exotic armor drop (if solo): Unknown
Lost Sector information is currently unavailable. Check the comments!

Neomuna

Terminal Overload: Ahimsa Park

• Weapon: Basso Ostinato (Shotgun)

Misc

• The Wellspring: Attack Weapon: Fel Taradiddle (Combat Bow)
• Altars of Sorrow Weapon: Apostate (Sniper Rifle)

Guns & Materials

Banshee's Featured Weapons

Name	Type	Column 1	Column 2	Column 3	Column 4
The Number	Energy Auto Rifle	Extended Barrel // Polygonal Rifling	Extended Mag // Armor-Piercing Rounds	Killing Wind	Multikill Clip
Nezarec's Whisper	Energy Glaive	Supercooled Accelerator // Low-Impedance Windings	Appended Mag // Swap Mag	Lead from Gold	Adrenaline Junkie
Austringer	Kinetic Hand Cannon	Corkscrew Rifling // Fluted Barrel	Alloy Magazine // High-Caliber Rounds	Snapshot Sights	Zen Moment
Taipan-4fr	Heavy Linear Fusion Rifle	Full Bore // Hammer-Forged Rifling	Accelerated Coils // Projection Fuse	Compulsive Reloader	Firing Line
Tears of Contrition	Kinetic Scout Rifle	Chambered Compensator // Hammer-Forged Rifling	Appended Mag // Alloy Magazine	Auto-Loading Holster	Focused Fury

Perks re-roll at midnight UTC, so check his inventory twice per day!
Note: Fixed perks on weapons are not displayed

Master Rahool's Material Exchange

• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 10 Legendary Shards)
• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 10 Dark Fragment)
• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 10 Phantasmal Fragment)
• Purchase Glimmer (10000 for 25 Herealways Piece)
• Enhancement Prism (1 for 10 Enhancement Core & 10000 Glimmer)
• Ascendant Shard (1 for 10 Enhancement Prism & 50000 Glimmer)

Bounties

Commander Zavala, Vanguard

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades	Defeat combatants with grenades. Defeating them in Vanguard playlists grants additional progress.	20 [Grenade] Grenade	XP+
Perfect Energy	Defeat combatants with Special ammo. Fusion Rifle final blows in Vanguard playlists grant additional progress.	20 [Fusion Rifle] Fusion Rifle	XP+
The Inner Storm	Defeat combatants with Arc damage in Vanguard playlists.	25 [Arc] Arc	XP+
Into the Abyss	Defeat combatants with Void damage in Vanguard playlists.	25 [Void] Void	XP+

Lord Shaxx, Crucible

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Burn Bright	Cast your Super.	2 Supers	XP+
Closed Circuit	Defeat opponents with Arc damage from any source.	5 [Arc] Arc	XP+
Peak Efficiency	Defeat opponents in a single life.	2 Streak	XP+
Did You Throw Enough Grenades?	In Mayhem, defeat opponents with grenades.	3 [Grenade] Grenade	XP+

The Drifter, Gambit

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Elite Executioner	Defeat challenging enemies in Gambit.	10 Challenging combatants	XP+
Not Your Mama's Combat Drill	Defeat enemies in Gambit.	50 Targets	XP+
Face-to-Face	Summon Primevals in Gambit by filling up your team's bank.	2 Primevals summoned	XP+
Blind Spot	Defeat Arc blinded targets in Gambit. Defeating Guardians grants more progress.	30 [Arc] Arc blind	XP+

Banshee-44, Gunsmith

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Scout Rifle Calibration	Calibrate Scout Rifles against any target. Earn bonus progress with precision final blows and against opposing Guardians.	100 [Scout Rifle] Scout Rifle	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress
Machine Gun Calibration	Calibrate Machine Guns against any target. Earn bonus progress against opposing Guardians and for additional targets defeated without reloading.	100 [Machine Gun] Machine Gun	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress
Glaive Calibration	Calibrate Glaives against any target. Rapidly defeating targets and defeating Guardians grants additional progress.	100 [Glaive] Glaive	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress
Void Calibration	Calibrate Void weapons against any target. Earn bonus progress using Power weapons and against opposing Guardians.	100 [Void] Void weapon	XP+ & Enhancement Core & Gunsmith Rank Progress

Nimbus, Neomuna

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Snipers of Myth	In Neomuna, defeat combatants with precision final blows. Vex combatants grant additional progress.	60 [Headshot] Precision	XP+ & 50 Neomuna Rank
Cryogenic Hardening	In Neomuna, defeat combatants affected by Stasis. Vex combatants grant additional progress.	60 [Stasis] Stasis	XP+ & 50 Neomuna Rank
Back to Basics	In Neomuna, defeat combatants with Kinetic weapons.	25 Kinetic weapon	XP+ & 50 Neomuna Rank
Hacker's Paradise	Complete waves in Terminal Overload.	10 Waves cleared	1 Terminal Overload Key & 50 Neomuna Rank & XP+

Sonar Station, H.E.L.M.

Name	Description	Requirement	Reward
Salvaged Equipment	Open a Salvage Chest.	1 Salvage Chest opened	XP+
Deep Trouble: Taken	Defeat Taken. Taken defeated in Salvage or Deep Dive award bonus progress.	100 Taken	XP+
Quickdraw Aquanaut	Defeat targets with Hand Cannons and Sidearms. Defeated Guardians or combatants defeated in Salvage or Deep Dive activities award bonus progress.	100 Weapon	XP+
Fires in the Deep	Defeat targets with Solar or Strand damage. Melee abilities award bonus progress, as well as defeating Guardians or defeating combatants in Salvage or Deep Dive.	100 Progress	XP+

"Okay," Sookie called out. "That's a wrap!"
A ragged cheer went up from the cast and crew. Deacon walked around, clapping his hands and cheering loudly, making sure everyone else was cheering, too. Sookie walked over to her chair and sank into it, her feet throbbing in time to the cheering people around her. She smiled at anyone who caught her eye and just relaxed.
This was the end of a grueling, forty-five day shooting schedule that had been supposed to be ten hour days, but had ended up being more like thirteen to eighteen hour days for her. They weren't done filming the season. Far from it, in fact. But these were the worst shots, and the cast and crew involved had all agreed to push through hard until it was done. After this, they had about two more months of shooting on a more normal schedule, and then editing could begin.
Deacon, despite his enthusiasm for the end of the push, had not had to attend most of the shots they got, and had instead, been spending 'quality' time with a couple of local groupies and the White Lady. Sookie didn't begrudge him this, of course. She worried a little about the amount of booger sugar going up his nose at times, but his agent had repeatedly assured her that he was using far more often during shoots than during his off time.
Besides, it was only fitting that the star of the show should enjoy the fruits of his fame. Sookie herself had picked up a bisexual couple a week or two ago, when they had a shoot end 'early' (at nine PM) and the next's day's shoot wasn't scheduled to begin until eight AM. She had left set almost immediately and headed to a local gay bar, where someone had recognized her from her OnlyFans days and insisted upon introducing his boyfriend.
She sighed, remembering the sensation of two well-endowed men thrusting into her, and how she'd simply melted when the one behind her leaned forward and around to kiss the other. Bi men were soooo hawt...
She promised herself she'd try to find another bisexual 'gay' couple, now that she had the time.
Deacon had finally got everyone sufficiently enthusiastic -which was a credit to his charisma, really, as everybody was exhausted- and came over to sit next to her in his own chair.
"I am so ready for a couple weeks off," he said.
"It's one week," Sookie reminded him. "And then you need to be ready for the fight scenes. Have you been working with your choreographer?"
"I haven't really had the time..." Deacon whined, causing Sookie to sigh.
"Deek," she said, sitting up in her chair and turning to face him. "You haven't needed to be on set for the past two weeks. You've been coming to, in your own words, 'help keep morale up'. And while I do appreciate your efforts in that regards, it is far more important for you to be ready to shoot your fight scenes in a week. I'm serious here. You need to get with your choreographer and get your moves nailed down tight. We don't have time to push those shoots back any further."
Deacon held up his hands in surrender. "I'll be down at the dojo tomorrow, I swear."
"Tomorrow morning," Sookie insisted.
"Tomorrow morning," Deacon agreed. "In fact, I'm going to get the playbook and go over it tonight, to try to get a head start."
Sookie smiled and patted him on the knee as she rose. She didn't want to be here anymore. The PAs and crew could finish cleaning everything up so the teardown crews could get started tomorrow.
She found her personal assistant and instructed her to make sure everyone knew to do their own breakdowns, then left. Filming on set had certain advantages, including the fact that she was within walking distance of her hotel.
The security guard that Julie had insisted she maintain since that incident a few years ago with the psycho stan peeled herself off the wall she'd been holding up and fell into step behind her. Sookie wouldn't have minded so much, except Julie had carefully picked married, monogamous men and women to fill her security schedule with, to avoid any 'conflicts of interest'.
This gal, Linda Gottlieb, was probably the worst of all. She had a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and yet refused to sleep with anyone else. On top of that, she was as slender as Sookie, flat chested (which Sookie found to be a major turn on) and hard as a rock, with veiny arms and shoulders and even a few visible on her belly.
Sookie was a woman of many tastes, but skinny girls with visible veins and no tits were one of her more notable favorites, and so Linda's categorical refusal to so much as let Sookie slip a hand down her pants was grating.
Linda wasn't wearing a uniform. She wore a tight tank top and a loose flannel with the sleeves rolled up and the front unbuttoned over a pair of blue jeans and hiking boots. Sookie knew she had a gun on her somewhere, but couldn't speculate as to where.
Well, that's not true. Sookie imagined the handle sticking of her ass, riding up between the cheeks of that ass that all flat-chested women seemed to have that was categorically unfair to better-if-still-modestly endowed women like Sookie. She slowed down to get a peek at it.
"Looking at my ass again?" Linda asked.
"Yes," Sookie said. "I was wondering if you keep your gun there. The handle could fit between those cheeks and nobody would be the wiser."
Linda laughed and lifted her flannel to show a handgun tucked into her belt on her hip. "Sorry to disappoint," she said. "But I kinda need to keep it where I could easily get at it."
Sookie sighed, her pleasant illusion ruined.
They turned left out of the studio gates and walked up the road. Despite the presence of the studio, this was kind of a rough area, so Sookie appreciated having some security as she made the walk. Not that she couldn't handle herself, but she'd learned the hard way that being taken by surprise left her as vulnerable as anyone.
They hadn't gotten more than a half a block before a ragged looking man approached them, reeking of booze and shit. His clothes were filthy and torn and he had a scraggly beard that ranged from a centimeter to three inches long, seemingly at random.
"Spare a dollar?" he asked.
"No," Linda said, stepping forward to catch his attention so Sookie could slip past.
"S'just a dollar, lady. I'll lick your pussy for it!" The man leered at Linda, who didn't blink or flinch, but rather gave him a hard shove back.
"Don't you fucking crowd me, talking shit like that," she said menacingly, taking another step forward to keep him off balance.
"Be respectful," she added with force. The man looked like he wanted to argue, but something in the way she looked or held herself made it clear to him that Linda was not to be trifled with. He stepped back until his back was to the wall of the building behind him and watched as Linda turned and caught back up to Sookie, who was watching the whole thing over her shoulder.
"Fucking Dykes!" the man shouted. "Suck my dick!"
"You'd think that at least one of them would figure out that being aggressive like that doesn't work," Sookie mused.
"It doesn't work on you or me, but that's because we know we could take his head off if he tried to get violent," Linda said. "Most women aren't fighters. They'll give him cash just to get him to stop harassing them."
"Fair enough," Sookie said.
This was a common occurrence. Almost every time Sookie walked to her hotel, at least one homeless person would try to panhandle her. Sometimes, if she had any cash, she'd give them some. Once in a blue moon, one would engender enough sympathy for a good payout, a hundred bucks or so. But most of the time, they struck her as entitled ruffians, living on the street thanks to their own bad decisions and trying to get by on other people's labor.
She knew that was an old-fashioned mindset. She knew a lot of these people would, if they got clean of whatever they were using, sort out their lives and take care of business. She knew that the DCM Group even had a charitable arm who straight up gave condos and large sums of money to many homeless people, who immediately used that gift to get back on their feet. She knew the stats, too.
But this particular area seemed to attract the sort of homeless people whom right-wing motards used as an archetype for all homeless people. Twice, someone from the crew had been assaulted, causing Sookie to declare that she and the stunt coordinator were the only ones allowed to walk to and from the studio.
"I wonder if they're actually even homeless," Linda said, her thoughts echoing Sookie's.
"Me too," Sookie said. "I mean, it's a very poor neighborhood, adjacent to a place where very wealthy people work. There's no rule that says you have to be homeless to panhandle."
Linda nodded. Sookie wondered idly if she'd been following her own logic, or seeking out a belief that made her feel better about judging the people here. She wasn't sure which, really.
The area they moved through got progressively nicer as they continued. They turned the last corner, with three blocks still to go when Sookie saw the next one.
This one was older. he only had about a week's worth of beard on his face, though Sookie could see that it was mostly gray. He wore similar clothes to the other one, the once-vibrant colors having long since faded towards a muted gray tone. His clothes, however, looked cleaner and the holes had all been neatly stitched. As they drew close, Sookie could read his sign.
Please helpLeave a dollar or take a resumeWill work for food
Sure enough, he had a stack of resumes weighted down with a rock next to him. Sookie stopped, intrigued and bent down to retrieve one. She handed the man a folded ten dollar bill at the same time. A reward for creativity in his panhandling, she thought.
She looked at it. The man had a pair of enlistments in the Marine Corps at the top of his work experience. It was back in the early 2000s, and it mentioned Helmand Province, which Sookie recalled had been at the center of a lot of the fighting in Afghanistan.
The next few lines were security companies, starting with a high-end competitor to the Group, and then a long sequence of construction and day-labor work, ending on his current work, which was "Self Employed - Private Investigations". Below that, he had a string of qualifications, including armed security, close protection and bail enforcement.
"This is actually quite a good resume," Sookie told him. She glanced up at the top to get his name, Eric Stephens.
"I'll work," he said hopefully. "I can swing a hammer and do plumbing. I'll do a full day's work for lunch and dinner, or a hundred bucks, whichever you prefer."
Sookie handed the resume to Linda, who looked down at it.
"Ain't much different than mine," she said. "Oorah."
"Oorah," Eric muttered back, seemingly on pure instinct.
"So why are you out here, Eric?" Sookie asked. "Your resume says you're self-employed as a private eye."
Eric shrugged. Sookie noted the redness and swelling of his nose. "Work's been scarce," he said. "Been getting fewer jobs for the last few years. Fewer jobs means less money, less money means losing my office, not being able to afford nice clothes, which leads to fewer jobs."
Sookie looked a question at Linda, who shrugged. "We're always looking for investigators. It can be hard to recruit former cops, and those we do are often old enough not to stay on for more than a few years before retiring."
Sookie smiled and nodded, turning back to Eric. "You want an interview?"
"Hell yeah," he said with some enthusiasm. "As long as they don't mind me looking a little rough around the edges."
"Where do you live?" Sookie asked. Eric gestured around. "Lost my apartment last month," he said. Sookie pursed her lips and then nodded and held out a hand to him.
"Come on, Eric. I'm Sookie, and this is Linda. I'll make you a deal. I'll get you a nice outfit to wear and arrange an interview at the LA office tomorrow. I'll put you up on my couch for the night, too. That way, you can shower and shave and look presentable for it. What do you think?"
Eric took her hand and let her help him up. "Are you serious?" he asked. Sookie nodded.
"Holy crap, thank you, lady. Sookie, I mean. Thank you." His eyes began to get watery. "I don't... I don't even know what to say. That would be amazing."
Sookie smiled, her heart wrenching for the guy. She knew he had a drinking problem, but she also remembered all those people the Group's charities helped. Get someone on their feet, and there was a good chance they'd stay there.
"Do you have stuff to get?"
"I uh... I have a storage shed. It's paid up through the end of the year," he said. "My stuff is safe there, I just need to go get my toiletries."
"Don't worry about that," Sookie said, stepping to the edge of the sidewalk and waiting for the traffic to clear enough to cross the road. "We can stop by a drug store, too."
----
Sookie and Linda took Eric shopping and got him everything he needed. Which wasn't much, really. Sookie had a spare toothbrush, razors, shaving cream and cologne at her hotel room. It was all stuff she kept on hand to be the best slut she could be, and make her dishes du jour feel welcome. They bought him deodorant and an electric beard trimmer, and decided to take a pit stop at a hair and nails salon next to the pharmacy.
The girls there had cooed and gooed over Sookie and Linda helping this man out, and refused to accept any money for the trim he got. Unfortunately, they weren't set up to shave a man (all of the other clients inside were women), but Eric protested that he was perfectly capable of shaving himself, so it all worked out.
The next stop was, at Sookie's insistence, one of the ultra-high-end men's clothing stores near her hotel. Linda had protested that simply taking a car to Walmart would be good enough, but Sookie would have none of that.
"Linda, it's been over six years since I've seen a person in Walmart that I'd be willing to give a handy to. It's been even longer since I've seen any clothing there that looked like it didn't come from Walmart, especially the suits. We're not going to Walmart."
As a result, Eric got fitted for a custom-tailored suit and outfitted with a tie that was a pleasant, deep blue, bespeckled with tiny, god-embroidered Marine Corps logos. He seemed pleased with it, and had to keep wiping his eyes as he repeatedly and profusely thanked her.
When all was done, they finally went to the hotel. Sookie had a full suite on the top floor. It wasn't the biggest suite, but it was close, with two spare bedrooms, a living room and a full kitchen, in addition to a balcony that afforded her a great view of the city (so long as the smog wasn't too bad) and a private elevator to the rooftop pool.
Linda took her usual spot at the door to await her relief for the evening while Sookie showed Eric the large bathroom and made sure he had everything he needed. While he showered and shaved, she decided to review the script.
She walked over to the safe in the living room and carefully punched in her combination on the keypad.
The scripts for The Legend of Jimmy were like solid gold. Every studio out there wanted to get their hands on one, to steal ideas from. Every fan wanted to get one, just for the thrill of knowing what was going to happen next. During the second season's filming, they'd had multiple scripts stolen and leaked, and Sookie had learned to crack down on that. As a result, she was the only one who ever had a full set of scripts for any given season. She kept them safely under lock and key at all times.
She pulled out her working copy, which was different from the 'archive' copy she also kept in the safe. The working copy had all of her handwritten notes on it. She pulled it out, closed the safe back up and locked it, then sat down at the table and flipped open to the scenes they would be filming after the break. Using a red pen, she made notes for herself, things to remember during shooting, like camera angles and notes on the VFX.
She heard the shower turn off, but she was engrossed in her work when the door opened.
"Thanks again," Eric said, causing her to look up. He had a towel around his waist, but Sookie noted that he had a lean torso, with some muscle still there, despite a rough life. Clean shaven now, he looked much better. He'd never get a gig as a model, but he was handsome enough in his own way. Sookie smiled at him.
"You don't have to keep thanking me," she said. "I'm happy to help."
She closed her script and stood, walking it over to the safe. Obscuring her hands with her body, she punched in the code again and placed the script inside. She hadn't yet closed the door when she heard Eric mutter "Oh shit."
She turned to look and froze. He'd turned back towards the bathroom, and then dropped his towel by accident. He was currently in the process of picking it up, affording Sookie a great view of his ass and what might well have been considered a third leg hanging from between the other two.
It came almost to his knees.
A flush of heat went through her, washing away all thoughts of largess and generosity, and kindling a very selfish desire. She heard the spattering on the hardwood floor where she crouched as her usual over-the-top wetness kicked into high gear and soaked through her pants in seconds. She could feel herself throbbing as she eyed Eric's enormous member.
Her disguise slipped and the horns erupted from her head, her tail curled up painfully inside her pants and her skin turned red, with large patches of scales. Operating purely on instinct, she magicked up a veil of mundanity. She didn't want Eric to freak out, and this would keep him from registering her appearance as anything out of the ordinary.
He retrieved his towel and made to wrap it back around his waist, but Sookie shot to her feet and spun, already ripping her shirt off.
"Wait," she said. Eric froze, then turned to look at her over one shoulder. She tossed her shirt on the couch and peeled off her pants. She wasn't wearing any underwear or bra, of course. She never did.
"I just thought of a way you could thank me," she purred, taking a languid step forward. Eric reacted immediately to the sight of her naked, turning, his hog's leg stiffening and rising from its vertical hang slightly.
"Are you, uh... I mean... I'm not..." Eric stammered. Sookie stepped closer to him and put her hands on his shoulder, then ran them down his chest.
"I am damn sure I want to do this, if that's what you're asking," she said, her hands reaching lower as she stepped close enough to press her breasts into his ribs. She took hold of him and felt him grow almost immediately rock hard as he gasped.
"Wow," he said. "This is... This is like something from a porno with a bad script..." he said.
"Uh huh," Sookie said. "And we're about to do the fun parts of it." She pressed her lips into his, and then squealed in delight as he grabbed her by the ass and hoisted her up.
"Where?" he asked into her mouth.
"Pussy, mouth and ass," she replied. She felt the heat rush through his cheeks.
"I meant where in this room," he said.
"I don't fucking care," Sookie responded, lining his huge cock up with her most convenient hole and squirming down onto it with a loud gasp.
----
Sookie awoke the next morning and rolled over to see if Eric was up for a little wake-and-shake. Her hands slapped the empty bed and she pouted.
"Eric?" she called, a wonderful aroma meeting her nose as she did. "Are you making coffee already? I'll fall in love with you, or deepthroat you, your choice, if you are!"
He didn't answer.
She opened her eyes and saw that his new suit was missing. An empty hanger was hooked to the coathanger next to the closet. She climbed out of bed, frowning, and walked out into the living room.
It was empty. She could smell the coffee even stronger, and she walked into the kitchen to find the coffee pot full and a business card sitting next to it. She picked it up and peered at it with sleep-bleary eyes.
"Eric Stephens, Private Investigations, Corporate Espionage, Bail Bonds, Security Consultation," she read out loud. There was a QR code on it, so she picked up her phone from where it had been flung to the floor last night and scanned it. While the page loaded, she glanced in the bathroom to see Eric's old clothes still piled there.
She glanced at her phone to see a very clean-shaven and well-dressed Eric smiling at the camera at the top of a very tastefully designed web page. She scrolled through it for a moment, confused.
That was, until she looked to her own pile of clothes by the safe and saw the door still hanging open. With a gasp, she rushed over only to find the safe empty. Both of her scripts were gone!
"Shit!" she shouted.
The door opened and a large, muscular man dressed like a lawyer rushed in, a gun in hand.
"Miss Ohma, is everything all right?" he asked after scanning the room and peering through the open doors.
"No," Sookie wailed. "I just got my scripts stolen!"
"The gentleman who left this morning?" her guard asked. She nodded. "I'm so sorry, Miss Ohma. I would have stopped him if I knew."
"No, you did fine," Sookie said as her eyes filled with frustrated tears. "You're used to men heading out in the morning. Usually they do it after I wake up and we can get another good fuck in, but still... You didn't do anything wrong."
"He left a note," the guard said. "I saw it taped to the inside of the door." Sookie looked over and saw a folded piece of paper taped there. She stalked over and ripped it down, sniffling angrily and wiping at her eyes to read it.

Dear Sookie, 

Last night was probably the best night I've had in my life. It's certainly the best night I can remember. If you ever want to do it again, just let me know. I left you a card by the coffee machine, and there's a full pot for you, as well. If you don't ever want to see me again, well, I guess I understand. I'm sorry to have left the way I did, but I'm a man of my word, and my client was willing to pay a lot of money for that script. I hope this doesn't hurt you too much. For what it's worth, I'm sorry if I upset you. Wishing you all the best, Eric
Sookie crumbled up the paper and angrily threw it across the room.
"Motherfucker!" she shouted. The guard winced, but said nothing.
"He scammed me," Sookie said. "Got a nice new suit out of me, seduced me with that redwood growing between his legs and then ran off with my fucking scripts!"
She let her claws form and dug them into her thighs, carving bloody furrows that healed almost as fast as she made them. The guard started and rushed over.
"Ma'am, please," he said. "I'm not supposed to let you hurt yourself."
Sookie let him pull her hands up to her chest. She leaned into him for a moment. "You're married, aren't you?" she said.
"Uh, no," he said. Sookie turned her head to regard him. She didn't recognize him. "What's your name?"
"Devin, Ma'am," he said. "Devin Iglesias. This is my first shift on your detail."
"Who put you on this shift?"
"Uhh, Missus Williams. She said I'd enjoy this detail, and I agreed. I'm a huge fan of your show, Miss Ohma."
"Are you gay?" Sookie asked. Devin blinked. "Uh, no, Ma'am."
Sookie smiled. "I need you to do two things," she said.
"The second, and most important thing, I need you to call the office and ask for any information they have on a private investigator named Eric Stephens who works out of LA."
Devin nodded. "Yes, ma'am. And the first thing?"
Sookie smiled wider. "I need you to find out the real reason why Inanna thought you'd enjoy this posting."

I'm looking for any feedback that anyone would be willing to give on this particular part of my story.
It involves my main cast trying to collect the tusks of a giant magical boar and ending up having to fight it.
I'm worried that this section turned out to be too long, or is uninteresting, or that the jokes and stuff don't land. Or that the characters feel too one-dimensional.
Honestly any and all feedback would be appreciated.
After going back through best part for some quick edits I find myself on the fence for how I feel about it when I'm in reader mode. I could really use some outside opinions.
Here's the link to the file. Please note that it may be some general grammar mistakes there's no need to correct them if you find them. I'll get to them eventually.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/177IudxFPCnzL-f8W1aCphHgHoIg54omvE0jf3tou6zs/edit?usp=drivesdk
Thank you so much

Hello Slayers,
We are delighted to announce a new AMA with the developers at Dambuster Studios. The previous AMA about the FLESH system can be found here.
This time the topic will be lore and story. The AMA will take place on 2 June from 1 PM BST to 2 PM BST*. James Worrall (Creative Director) and Lydia Cockerham (Senior Narrative Designer) will be joining us to answer your lore and story- related questions.
Questions can be anything related to the subject, be it environmental storytelling, overarching lore, or something about Dead Island 2’s cast of characters.

• Did you ever wonder why there is a massive horde at Venice Beach and under the Santa Monica Pier?
• Do you want to know more about the origins of the shady Eschaton Group?
• Perhaps you are wondering about the connection between the Autophage and the graffiti in Brentwood Sewer?
  Those are just some of the possible topics you could ask about.
  

Like last time, the devs will answer some questions from this thread, so start asking away! If your question gets answered, you'll be pinged in the developer AMA post. We hope to see some interesting theories and questions.
The Dead Island subreddit mod team
*time conversions: 1PM BST = 2PM CEST = 5AM PDT = 8AM EDT = 10PM AEST

​
I have written many poems throughout these last 2 years, however I'm not exactly sure which ones to start with. My friends have complimented me on this one and as it is one of my earliest works I thought it would be fitting to start there. I'm open to any and all criticisms. To clarify some lines and word choices may seem confusing as they particularly relate to other poems I've written.
Have you ever had to hear the answers to questions you didn't ask?
Felt the guilt for trivial moments in years of past?
Has a period in time ever tortured you so slowly but went by so fast?
Did your mission end before you could even complete your first task?
No time to process any emotion
Feels like trying to bottle dried up tears
Rubbing on your mask as if it's a magic potion
Acting surprised when you don't disappear
The skies were so blue now the clouds ooze black
Pouring down acid rain on my train track
Electro-shock therapy for a heart attack
Placing a 3 legged-chair as the foundation of the stack
It was too quick, it happened all too soon
Didn't even have enough time to feel like a buffoon
The cyclone all alone, the hurricane in pain
The council of consequences claim that I'm insane
How could I not realize I was the henchman to a goon?
Peripherals offer no hindsight for The Tremendous Typhoon
Hit with a wave, fierce like no other
Shit! There's no save, pierced by my lover
Pulled in by a tornado, spun around like a carousel
The wind rush stops, and that's when I fell
Throat slit by my silver spoon
Terminated by The Tremendous Typhoon
Earthquakes and Tsunamis
Don't compare to this disaster
Dirt shakes and folds like origami
And I do so so much faster
They love to prey on and preach about
Pissed off by these piss-poor pastors
They accuse me of pulling strings out
But I'm not the puppet-master
It hurts too much when they yell
But they treat me like the weapon
They put me through so much hell
While telling me I won't go to heaven
They gift me with their humor
And I always receive the punchlines
My Secret Santa secretes rumors
And they explode from under me like landmines
My only leverage is on a sand dune
What happens when it gets crumbled by The Tremendous Typhoon?
Wrestle my dignity away, you love your body slammin'
Narrate your neurotic narratives to add to your twisted canon
Your ego is as inflated as a balloon
But your hot air is sucked in by The Tremendous Typhoon
How could something so stupid be so stupendous?
Never stopped to stoop that low so this is what my end is
I thought it was bad enough when I was friendless
But I've never felt a feeling this tumultuous and traumatizing and tremendous.
Flooded by my emotions, all I can do is scream and shout
Then I shrivel up and die like a drought
Climbed a mountain and took a chance
Only to get pushed back down by an avalanche
I was already pressured by societal norms
But then you struck me with a thunderstorm
Was still dealing with so much nonsense
When you crushed me with some subsidence
I'm normally quite unprepared
So when you cast light on me with a solar flare
After my life constantly felt corrupted
Shouldn't be a shocker that I erupted
Initially, you just made me swoon
But now I feel as if I'm orbiting a blood moon
Strumming guitar strings in the wrong tune
Trailblazer in The Tremendous Typhoon
It took a toll being in that sinkhole
Felt like homicide down that mudslide
But other than the embarrassment and utter humiliation
I was most hurt by your dishonest vindication
There was no indication that such a stipulation
Would be a step-in stipend to our pending situation
Especially when the whole ordeal was of your initiation
This is the type of scenario I would normally leave to my imagination
It's like that one scene where the protagonist enters a saloon
Or when they enter an ancient pyramid and find some sacred runes
The chaos they will have to succumb to, for no one is immune
That is what it feels like to be caught in The Tremendous Typhoon.
These are my feedbacks on other poems:
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/13vkewn/comment/jm829rc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/13vt2xf/comment/jm81vv7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Get ready to cast a spell on your guests with a spooktacular Halloween charcuterie board that will leave them screaming for more! When it comes to entertaining during the Halloween season, a show-stopping cheese halloween charcuterie board can take your party to the next level. Start by selecting an eerie black serving board or a creepy coffin-shaped platter as your base.
Now, let's conjure up some frightfully delicious cheeses. Choose a mix of ghostly white, orange, and deep purple cheeses to create a visually striking display. Incorporate a creamy brie or a tangy goat cheese, along with aged cheddar and gouda for some bold flavors. To add some creepy companions, arrange slimy olives, dark grapes, and wickedly sharp pickles alongside the cheeses.
Don't forget the charcuterie! Slice up some blood-red prosciutto and arrange it in twisted patterns on the halloween charcuterie board. Enhance the spookiness with black crackers or breadsticks, resembling haunted twigs. Finish off the enchanting display with spider-web-inspired spreads, like a smoky chipotle or a savory pumpkin dip.
And for that chilling touch, place a few decorative skulls or plastic spiders around the board. Your Halloween cheese charcuterie board will be a wicked hit, haunting your guests' taste buds and creating memories that will last long after the witching hour.
For visit halloween charcuterie board:https://www.amazon.com/halloween-charcuterie-board/dp/B07LDT9LR5

Preface: While this guide will not include EVERY facet of leveling, it will give a deep dive into unique items for leveling. While some of these may be known, there are others that I hope will change how you level new characters. The focus is on gear sub level 20 that can be used all the way until act 10 or at least until you can get a better replacement unique throughout the leveling process
Hello, my name is PeanutButterZebraHacker, or Peanut for short, and I love Path of Exile. I find myself playing this game whenever I have free time and with nearly 19k hours in the game, it's something I have loads of experience with. I am making this guide because I always hear about people HATING the leveling experience and for me... well I tend to enjoy it; however, this is because the way I level lets me pick nearly any build I want, something people often feel they cannot do when they make a new character.
This post will be VERY long, I understand that many may not read it, and that my formatting and order for this may need work if I want something more formal; though, for now I will just post how I see fit!
Leveling in PoE is often considered a chore that pigeon holes you into playing the same exact build (Hollow Palm normally, my aim is to change that). This guide will demonstrate every good leveling unique in the game and show how an individual can leverage these unique items to play almost any build they desire.
The bottom of this write-up will have a PoB with my favorite uniques to mess around with and a sample setup to see what you can do with the right gear!
​
Unique Items per slot: My favorite item per slot is in Bold.
Helmets: This slot is flexible for survival, damage, or speed!

1. Honourhome: This is by far the BEST leveling helmet in the entire game. While +2 may seem like a minor bonus, the fact that it can get TWO +2 implicit corruptions and then also have a level 2 empower socketed allows any skill with the right corruptions to have +9 to gem levels! This is The mana cost reduction is an additional bonus that shouldn't be forgotten either! It is INSANE when used alone or moreso when combined with the rest of the items on this list.
2. Thrillsteel: While I only consider this to be a glorified MTX, there is some merit with running this helmet on builds that cannot take advantage of Honourhome. The Onslaught works in town so you run faster which is always a plus.
3. Goldrim: The CLASSIC leveling helmet. This thing is cheap solid leveling helmet that can easily cap resistances through the acts.
4. Fairgraves Tricorne: This helmet is old but potentially usable. The "can be touched by tormented spirits" mod provides 50% increased attack, cast, and movement speed as well as 50% increased damage; however, you hardily encounter spirits in acts and will likely be overall less strong than the above.
5. Crown of Thorns: Really only viable with Ghostwrite and Energy Blade, otherwise just a solid tanky option when you have nothing else.

Note: The corruptions for helmets are avaliable on all helmets, not just honourhome. If there is a helmet you want to use, always be sure to price it out with the corruptions you want! A +2 Aoe/+2 Aura helmet is still really good for leveling with haste for the extra movement speed!
​
Body Armour: These options each have benefits that can be compared when choosing your build.

1. Thousand Ribbons: While everyone knows tabula as "the leveling unique", it should always be remembered that Thousand Ribbons exists. ESPECIALLY when corrupted with up to 50% increased damage, Thousand Ribbons provides large flat damage bonus, resistances, and other modifiers that are VERY helpful for leveling. If used with a +4 helmet or Honourhome, the number of sockets doesn't even matter because you will be using the helmet for your links. This thing is INSANE.
2. Tabula Rasa: The most well known leveling unique in the game, Tabula is a great "generic" item that provides extra damage or utility through extra links. It is advised to get an increased damage corruption for this body armour, though it is important to remember that mana cost may be an issue with 6L skills while leveling.
3. Ghostwrithe: This is a great item for builds transitioning into CI at some point or builds that want to use Energy Blade to level, otherwise, it is just a solid chest when you have nothing else.

Note: There are quite a few good corruptions for body armours, +! socketed being one often overlooked at low levels; however, it is often just best to take the increased damage corruption for that small boost while leveling.
​
Gloves: These options all provide an offensive bonus that will help speed up leveling!

1. Lochtonial Caress: These are a SIGNATURE for leveling form level 1 in any build, try getting a max rolled cast or attack speed for your build and they could last you to act 10 Kitava alone. There are other options to upgrade into after these gloves; however, these are the premium gloves to use when you first start out.
2. Hrimsorrow: These gloves are perfect for any player that wants to use a physical attack that then gets converted into cold. Otherwise they are just a lump of stats.
3. Sadima's Touch: The flat damage provided can be largely helpful early game and quant could always be fun to have but I would rate these poorly compared to other options.
4. Doedre's Tenure: The ULTIMATE spell leveling gloves. Fear not the reduced cast speed; by time you can use these, you can also toss on a pair with cast speed corruption to negate the downside. These gloves provide SO much extra damage while leveling a spell build and should ALWAYS be used on any build that wants to level with spells. Buy these with cast speed corruption and youll be blasting!
5. Flesh and Spirit: The rampage CAN be nice; though, it isn't often you are stopping to clear entire screens that these will see much use beyond Lightning arrow or other solid clearing skills that would allow you to actually get stacks easily.
6. Facebreakers: With the existence of Hollow Palm, these gloves have fallen behind. They CAN still be used but the other options are much better.
7. Ondar's Clasp: These gloves are hard to take advantage of until you can use arrogance to reserve some of your life, otherwise, I wouldn't suggest using them.

Note: The curses or speed corruptions can REALLY round out a pair of leveling gloves and should not be forgotten about if you can get a pair with it!
​
Boots: The options below are chosen to assist with the speed through the acts!

1. Seven-League Step: These are generally a bit pricey, especially early, but they are easily the BEST leveling boots in the game. When corrupted with increased movement speed, they turn you into a speeding bullet, but even without they are VERY strong.
2. Abberaths Hooves: A solid leveling alternative that gives good damage and a fun mechanic to mess with to kill monsters. The ignite prolif can add to the fun on ignite builds as well!
3. Wanderlust: The most budget option, these boots give freeze immunity which is awesome and solid movement speed to run through the acts!
4. Nomic's Storm: A cheap alternative to Seven-Leagues, these boots can provide a great movement speed buff with some stats; though, it is important to remember you will take a big first hit while wearing these!

Note: Always remember to look for cheap pairs with movement speed corruptions! These can really make leveling feel that much better!
​
Shields: Overlooked for higher damage option, shields are great for tankiness in the early levels.

1. Lycosidae: This shield is great for builds that use attacks but is often looked over because accuracy isn't much of an issue early. Using counter-attacks with this shield can be fun though!
2. Crest of Perandus: The life given by this shield can really pump up your early game tankiness and the extra stats are nice too. This shield is a comfy "I don't want to die" alternative.
3. Kaltenhalt: This shield is GREAT for any build that wants to level with a strong physical skill. The gained as can feel great for early game chills/freezes for additional "defense" as well.
4. Springleaf: Really only used for EARLY EARLY RF leveling, this shield is solid for adding some additonal regen to a build that doesn't die quick but doesn't heal quick either!

Note: Shields are often weak for leveling but it is important to realize they do exist! While it may be better to run a stronger weapon for damage, a shield can make leveling a bit more comfy and open doors for other options.
​
Jewellery: Jewellery has a large list of strong usable items. While there are technically some unique items that can have their level requirement removed via corruption, I will only list the unique items that I find to be genuinely beneficial to use.
Amulets: There is a large list of usable amulets, just remember to pick the one that best fits your build!

1. Sidhebreath: This amulet is very niche for minion builds and pretty much requires you run added cold with the minions to counter lack of other damage they can no longer deal. If you REALLY want to run this, you're going to notice a drop in damage as your minion gems level up.
2. Blood of Corruption: Really strong for early game levels but falls behind the Karui setup for benefits. Usable but not strong.
3. (Replica) Karui Ward: The BEST leveling amulet in the game. This amulet should be purchased with a movement speed corruption if possible to help BLAST through the game. The speed provided by this slot alone is huge and with the right annoint can turn you into a speed demon!
4. Tear of Purity: The extra resistances and ailment immunity provided by and early game Purity of Elements can feel great while leveling but otherwise isn't that strong.
5. Xoph's Heart: Now usable at level 5, this amulet and the ash covering ability really add some nice early game damage for leveling if you are using a fire build.
6. (Replica) Atziri's Foible: If built around, these amulets are easily some of the coolest. The bonuses they provide given the right build are astounding, otherwise its just a filler amulet.
7. Astramentis: INSANE for leveling because it cuts back your need for stats, Astramentis is always great to have around and can make for some easy gearing without worrying about stats.

Note: Make sure to annoint your amulet! While I always check for a movement speed corruption, the extra tainted oil can make the cost too high so going with an uncorrupted amulet might be the play!
​
Rings: The ring slot options are somehow large and small all at the same time.

1. Blackheart: The extra chaos damage added can really boost the early game clear, though the flee can be VERY annoying for melee builds.
2. Doedre's Damning: While additonal curse may seem strong, the lack of curses early makes this ring really just a ball of resistances.
3. Perandus Signet: My favorite ring to use as it gets me closer to using my full set at level 16, otherwise I run a few other options once I get there.
4. Berek's Rings: These rings are all solid for leveling assuming your build uses their bonuses correctly, read each of them to see what you might want to use!
5. Call of the Brotherhood: Great for those early game lightning builds (Spark is a favorite for me). Being able to do cold damage is huge for early game and can feel awesome for defense as well!
6. Le Heup of All: This ring is a generalist ring that fills the gap you may need for certain stats or resistances. It is always nice to keep a few on hand and use them when you are lacking somewhere!
7. Mark of Submission: This ring feels REALLY good early game to get extra damage from a curse and if it can be used, should be used! A early curse on hit can add a LOAD of extra damage, much more than most other rings this early into PoE.

Note: Rings are pretty flexible and it is best to use a pair that best fits your build, though it doesn't hurt to run Perandus Signets until you can toss on two Le Heups!
​
Belt: Belts are a pretty large slot for unique items but like many other slots, there is generally one that is best.

1. Darkness Enthroned: This belt is the BEST if you are willing to hunt down good abyss jewels. The fact that you can gain loads of life, movement speed if you haven't been hit recently, and other benefits, really makes this belt take the number 1 spot for early into late leveling stages.
2. String of Servitude: This belt can have some solid mods; however, it's often lacking in areas that could make it feel good and unless you're going Hollow Palm, the belt is on the sidelines.
3. Meginord's Girdle: The added flat physical damage can be great for Pillar or Facebreaker builds; otherwise, this is just a filler belt with some stats.
4. Perandus Blazon: This belt is GREAT for the extra attributes and some quantity, though these stats are either made up elsewhere or generally useless for the acts!
5. Belt of the Deceiver: This belt can provide some additional damage to attack builds through intimidate as well as some resistances and life, it is still often better to run a Darkness Enthroned to make up for those potential missing stats.
6. Bated Breath: If you are looking to focus on an ES build or Energy Blade, this belt is just about the best you can go with until later in the game.

Note: While belts are often flexible, it is generally understood to just run with a Darkness Enthroned and search for level 1 jewels that fit your build. Remember that each abyss jewel has different rolls. (Ghastly: Minions, Searching: Bows/wands, Murderous: Melee/Attacks, Hypnotic: Spells)
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Weapons: Weapons will be classified by their type, though some types may be more popular than others. When it comes to leveling with attacks, its often you will upgrade your weapon with something throughout the acts. Spells don't need much of an upgrade with some of the options below. I will not be listing weapon classes that have mediocre uniques, if a class isn't listed a cheap rare is best (Ex. Daggers have poor options and should instead be a rare if you want to use them.)
Axe: This weapon type is often overlooked for leveling but can be beneficial given some extra "tech".

1. Screaming Eagle: The movement speed provided makes this axe worth dual-wielding in your offhand to swap to for extra speed!
2. Limbsplit: While the culling strike isn't neccessary for early-game, having a way to cull early on weapon swap can cut some seconds off of killing some tanky rares! (I am looking at you spinning birdcage skeletons with extra life!)

Notes: Axes are often just kept on weapon swap for their bonus, if you want to use an axe for damage, an axe purchased from a vendor, qualitied, and essenced often do far more damage.
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Bows: Bows are something I really enjoy leveling with and the options are quite large, below are the some solid choices if you don't want to craft a rare every 5-10 levels!

1. Silverbranch: This bow is a generic leveling bow that when found early can really assist with early game bow clear.
2. Widowhail: With the right quiver, this bow is INSANE! It does require further planning but given the right setup, this bow can be used from level 1 to level 100, even being something to build around! If you want to go with stat stacking, remember that 249% is only 2x effect while 250% is 3x effect, so buy a max roll!
3. Quillrain: The classic leveling bow that can be used from 5 to 100, the speed and mana gained on hit make this bow feel nice and comfy for leveling, though the damage reduction is a bit noticable.
4. Storm Cloud: This bow does so much for an early game build and should not be forgotten. While the attack speed is much lower than Quill Rain, it does feel very nice to use with LA and other bow skills early.

Note: Bows can be bought with corruptions but it is often easier to just buy high rolls, but never overlook a high roll AND corruption that still retains the low level requirement.
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Quivers: Using the right quiver can really change the bow leveling experience, though a crafted rare often does the trick too!

1. Hyrri's Bite: Insane for leveling, this quiver is VERY good with the extra stats it provides, it will really change how your gems level early game!

Note: Quivers are often better if just cheaply essence crafted, otherwise, Hyrri's Bite is the strong go-to quiver.
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Maces: While the choices are small, it is fun to run a mace with slams early!

1. Gorebreaker: The damage done by this mace early game is enough to kill most rares in a hit or two; however, it falls off quickly given the slow attack speed.

Note: There are technically more options in the 20s range; though, they are often overshadowed in damage from a crafted rare.
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Sceptres: This is where the fun weapons begin!

1. Axiom Perpetuum: This is by far the BEST spell caster leveling unique in the entire game. When combined with other unique items in this list (often the ones I bold), the damage provided is MASSIVE. This is brought up even HIGHER with a cast speed corruption. This sceptre is the BEST spell caster leveling weapon in the entire game and should ALWAYS be kept in pairs of two with cast speed corruptions. The Crit and Cast speed alone turn a boring spell into a KILLING machine.
2. Brutus Lead Sprinkler: I know this is level 28 but it holds a strong place in my heart. This is one of my favorite items in PoE (I WISH I could get one with a great crucible tree for standard but I don't have the desire to make one right now, maybe later, I REALLY want one!) It is VERY fun to level with for Str stacking and should be remembered if you are looking to try a stat stacking build early.

Note: There really isn't a better caster weapon than Axiom for leveling and really limits the unique items worth using for said builds.
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Staves: An uncommon leveling piece, staves can see some use but are often outclassed by Axiom or other items:

1. Fencoil: Great for early damage until you get two axioms but not needed when you can use +1 All X Spell gem magic wands instead.
2. Replica Bloodthorn: The increased fire damage can feel great for early game Rolling Magma until Axioms; however, it is useless afterwards.
3. Pillar of the Caged God: This is often used at much higher levels after stats are scaled better but can be used early if you can find some good added flat physical damage and strength while leveling.

Note: It is generally much better to use +1 wands but staves can still make for an easy to store unique weapon to hold until you can use Axioms.
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Swords: The choice of swords for leveling is pretty open with one clear winner; though, it is often better to use a crafted rare if you want to level with them.

1. Oni-Goroshi: This sword has so much lore behind it and is very strong to level with. While farming it may not be fun and making sure you get enough ignite chance to trigger the proc may not be fun, it can scale all the way to level 100 if built around and is very solid for leveling with melee weapons.
2. Redbeak: This is often dropped for a rare the moment you can hit a Thrusting sword with an essence or two, this sword is still strong for early levels if given the chance!
3. The Princess: I really enjoy dual wielding this sword with another copy when using a physical build, it is still often better to use Axiom or a crafted rare.
4. Shiversting: When it comes to two hander swords, Shiversting takes the cake for early game damage. Sady it is still outclassed by a crafted rare if you have the essences, otherwise, it can clear early levels easily until you can upgrade.

Note: Like other melee weapons, swords are often better crafted ever 5-10 levels, unless you use Oni.
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Claws: Claws really only have one option for leveling and it always requires Elemental hit to work.
(Replica) Last Resort: This claw is VERY good when leveling with elemental hit once you can get to low life; however, it is otherwise useless.
Note: If you want claws, use a rare, its really that simple.
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Wands: While outclassed by Axiom, wands can be used early for an extra damage boots until you can use those sceptres.

1. Lifesprig: A solid wand to use until you can use Axioms, the life it heals is nice for early sustain.
2. Abberaths Horn: This wand is useable if you cannot get +1 wands early, is should be dropped as soon as possible. While ignite isn't insanely strong early, the reduced ignite duration can be noticed when it comes to additional damage from fire builds.
3. Ashcaller: This wand is really strong with SRS from the covered in ash debuff, it is otherwise not that usable.
4. Poet's Pen: This wand, while not as popular, is a cult classic for leveling. Throw on two with your favorite spells (and make sure to use clarity to counter to trigger costs!) and you can BLAZE through the game using frenzy as your trigger. Poet's Pen builds do require some planning but can be VERY fun for early game.

Note: It is often better to use a magic +1 to all X spell set for leveling. Aside from Poet's Pen, the benefit of using the above wands is worse than a simple +1 wand.
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Jewels: The number of leveling jewels has dropped drastically after the jewel change but here is a short list of some!

1. One with Nothing: Your typical "leveling" jewel. This build has been tried and true for years and is always something to look into if you want the generic Hollow Palm leveling experience.
2. Thread of Hope: A late game found jewel that can be used in early leveling to get some extra passives early in the game (Think about getting two extra projectiles for a bow build early instead of pathing all the way to those nodes).
3. Watcher's Eye: Another late game found jewel that can add some convivence to an early leveling experience but needs to be built around.
4. Sublime Vision: The final of my suggest jewels, using the haste version of this can add some extra speed to an otherwise speedy leveling experience!

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When deciding your build, the most important part is deciding the "prime unique" to build around, when it comes to spells, make sure you can buy the perfect +4 Honourhome helmet and then go from there, a perfect Honourhome is the difference between 6k DPS at level 16 and 800 dps. Build around this helmet and you'll LOVE the spell caster leveling experience, I PROMISE!
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Build Template(s): I will add more templates if this thread gets some views but otherwise here is my generic "Spark leveling template" that I used. The damage is VERY high for a level 16 and I have personally leveled a character all the way to act 10 with this gear setup without using a SINGLE passive point. (Though I did need to swap in Astramentis and swap rings to make up for lost resistances and stats to level up skill gems.)
Spark: https://pobb.in/7ikhk0q3MVNU
Lightning Arrow: https://pobb.in/hDzo2YyYcOp-
Generic Spell Level 2 Build: https://pobb.in/prpMjcZLrdLG
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If you have any questions feel free to ask! I can also make a video guide that is a bit more fleshed out so let me know if you like it!

I'm well on my way to start writing a book and I'm pretty excited about the possibility of finishing this goal. I really want to talk about it and get feedback and criticisms so I can improve areas that need but I don't want anyone I know to know about it cuz I'm an actual f*ck up. I never follow through with what I want to do cuz I eventually burn out and hate the result. I try to stop and fix it, but my brain constantly berates me about how embarrassed and out casted I'm going to feel when it inevitably amounts to nothing so I just end up never liking what I put together. I just, I really like what I have so far and I love the world I built but I'm starting to collapse under the anxiety I'm having from this fake failure I'm experiencing in some fantasy world my brain lives in. I just needed to express this somewhere and wondering if other people have this experience.

Hey there ReddX gang, it looks like I finally got a bit of time to write, so let’s not delay any longer and get into another story about Chris.
Who is Chris? Chris is a very fat and sweaty man surrounded by an impenetrable aura of poopycum stinkystank. He is a grotesque goblin content to dwell in his own personal dark triad of meth, anime, and lot lizards. Chris and I both used to work for a trucking company – a major one – and him and I would take turns driving our big rig down the road. Things were usually okay when Chris was driving, but when Chris’s shift would come to an end, or worse yet, when we would pull over for the night, Chris would find himself free to do Chris things. You know the things. Then, despite my best efforts to make him bathe and behave, it was all in vain, and we would descend just a little bit further into madness. Thankfully, I no longer have to ride with Chris.
Last installment we were introduced to Christina. Do you not know who Christina is? Well, maybe you should go and look up that last post, or better yet, go and listen to the narration of it as done by our good pal ReddX. Christina really was the feminine counterpart to the poopycum man. Well, after some sly maneuvering, I managed to escape the clutches of this wily bovine.
Now, I woke up the following morning to find both truck doors still locked and I thanked myself that my comfortable sanctuary had not been breached in the night by the poopycum people. I looked at my clock and realized that we were getting a bit late in the morning and that we needed to get on the road. Begrudgingly, I got out of bed, put on my shoes, and went out into the travel plaza to locate the gruesome twosome. I didn’t have to go far. I found Chris and his sister outside of the convenience store, wolfing down microwaved carbs, grease, and high fructose corn syrup like they a couple pigs in a trough. I came up, Chris dismissively remarking hey, and Christina replying with a sultry “good morning honker donkers” which I ignored. I turned to Chris, pretending his sister didn’t exist, and said, “we gotta get on the road, dude. Are you ready?” He shoved half a hot dog down into his mouth as if to deep throat the thing and said, “yeah, let’s go. Come on Christina.”
We all got back to the truck and I jumped in the passenger seat first that morning, taking us out of our parking space and further down the road. I figured I’d get my drive time out of the way first so that I could make my money without having to fight with Chris, and alternatively, if Christina drove the afternoon, I could spend it in relative peace without fear of molestation. Of course, that first shift was hell. Christina was still in heat – swampy, musky heat – and kept trying to coo her way into giving me road head. Thankfully, Chris was still the same scum that he was from yesterday and made things too awkward even for the beast beside me for her to make her moves. Every time she got a little too close to me, I’d find some way to rouse Chris’s attention and he would fluster her with his incestuous masturbatory desires.
When my shift finally came to an end, I got up and headed to the back to relax in my bunk while Chris and Christina fought over the driver’s seat. Chris shouted, “dude! I haven’t drove at all this whole trip! I need to make money so I can get some new figures for my army. Get up Christina,” to which Christina replied, “shove it. Just ask dad for some money. I wanna drive the truck.” Well, Chris wasn’t having it. I guess dad had been cutting him off as of late and gave the landwhale a hard shove, sending her careening into the side of the truck, causing the whole rig to rock back and forth. She came back and lunged at Chris and they started throwing blows at each other. I didn’t intervene, of course. I sincerely doubted either of them had the required upper body strength to actually injure the other. No, I let them get tired. Christina gave up first and said, “fine! Drive the damn truck! I’ll just go hang out with honker donkers.” At this, my ears perked up, I got up from my bunk, and plopped down in the passenger seat – a place only big enough for one person mind you – and Christina cast me a sour look. She knew I didn’t want to be anywhere near her, but that didn’t seem to stop her from still trying to put on the moves. With a dejected sigh, she waddled towards the back, and I screamed, “you better not lay down on my bunk,” and she said, “fuck you, I’m not going to lay in your bed.” Chris did his pre-drive checklist before casting a glance over to me, mumbling, “women, am I right or what, bro,” before putting his phone on the dongle and pressing play. We pulled onto the road to the throaty cries of “nani? Baka!”
As we drove, I did my best to ignore the people about me, grateful that I was safe with Chris driving the truck. I descended into my book as best I could while the poopycum man took us down the road. I was doing a good job pretending I wasn’t there, of course, but it certainly didn’t last forever. Somewhere around the hour mark, however, a symphony of squeaking bedsprings arrested my attention. Chris even looked away from his podcast for a minute and locked eyes with me, and we exchanged a what the fuck moment. Cautiously, I looked over my shoulder towards the back of the cab.
The ham planet had made herself comfortable in my bed, alright. Too comfortable. Her languid, throaty breaths punctuated the awkward scene before me. Her swollen red ass was firmly planted on my bed and she sat there, one hand lifting up her sagging belly, the other fondling her yawning crevasse. She smiled coyly as she saw that I had turned around and motioned for me to approach, but I did not dare to do so. I recoiled in absolute disgust, letting out a “what the Hell are you doing?” Chris swerved a bit at my outburst but managed to stay on the road. My disgust only elevated exponentially when I saw that the hand that touched her rancid cooch held something in it. “What the fuck is that?”
She smiled wryly as she held up a dirty old sock, and I practically gagged. She replied, “Even if you don’t come here inside me, I’ve got your come inside me.” I dry-heaved for a moment as Chris said, “what the Hell is going on back there?” Pale as a ghost, I mumbled, “dude, she’s masturbating with an old sock.” Chris swerved again. “Oh fuck. Christina, where did you get that sock?”
Things got real quiet real fast. Christina mumbled, “I got it off of honker donker’s laundry hamper. I can tell he must have been thinking about me when he used it.” I shuddered. I don’t beat off into socks in the back of the truck cab, and even if I had done it, I certainly hadn’t done it today. Whatever hypothetical cum sock she had found would have been long dried up from the night before if I had made one. No, somebody else’s cum was on that sock. She smiled wryly as she lifted it up and played with a sticky strand of goo that adhered to the fabric before pulling her fingers down to her snatch and I gagged.
“Christina,” I said slowly, “that isn’t my sock.” She retorted, “don’t lie, it was on your hamper,” and I practically yelled at Chris “why are you throwing your cum socks in my laundry basket, bro?” Chris said, “I didn’t throw a cum sock in your laundry basket honker donkers, for fuck’s sake. What the Hell is Christina doing back there?” I described the scene to Chris, telling him, “well, she must have found a cumsock of yours from today and she’s rubbing it into her ax wound.” Christina paused for a minute, a strand of that goopy jizz hanging from her lips to the sock and I practically threw up. I rolled down the window and heaved for a minute as the gravity of the situation was dawning on me. Christina had grabbed one of Chris’s cumsocks, thinking that somehow it was mine and still had a trace of viable seed on it, and began rubbing it into her vagoo.
Christina cooed, “what’s wrong, honker donkers? I’m sure you taste even better when you’re fresh,” and I practically shouted, “That’s Chris’s sock!” Things got real quiet as the gravitas of the situation kicked in for both Chris and Christina. Christina instantly flew into a rage, throwing down the cumsock and waddling up behind the driver’s seat and began to beat Chris on the back of the head. The truck swerved left and right, and I started yelling, “Chris! Brakes!” I pressed the hazards and grabbed the wheel while he tried to shield his head and slowly decelerate us to a stop while Christina screeched about how Chris had just raped her. The whole deceleration, Chris was pummeled by his sister’s hamfists, until we finally made it to the shoulder of the road with the hazards on. The whole time, Christina, half-naked and shrieking, accused Chris of having tricked her into inseminating herself with his poopysplooge.
Chris got up from where he sat and started to throw blows against his sister, the useless and ineffectual impacts of each combatant wailing upon each other’s heads with little to no actually damage inflicted. I figured they would tire themselves out eventually, and when things finally did settle down, Christina collapsed into a sobbing, half-naked mess, still clutching the gnarly sock that contained her brother’s fetid ejaculate. She lifted up a corner of it and used to wipe a tear that trickled down her cheek. Across from her, Chris stared ahead for a thousand miles, comatose and catatonic.
I didn’t break the silence. I just listened to the wails in meditative silence. Finally a choked sob came from Christina. “You’re… you’re just messing with me, right?” I came back hard and unapologetic. “At what time between then and now did you think I went into the back and rubbed one out? In the two minutes you guys were fighting over the driver’s seat, did you think I whipped it out and spanked it? I’m not gross like either of you two.” The wails intensified. Chris continued to gaze into the abyss, wondering just what in the Hell had led to this culmination of events. When things started to calm down, Christina whined and sniveled and said, “well, what happens now?”
I remarked that she should probably go head to a hospital and get checked for STDs. I mentioned Chris’s long history of having unprotected sex with truck stop tutes, which he fervently denied in the moment, calling me a liar, but I persisted and said that that was the best course of action for her. She should probably go get checked out. She curled into a ball in the back while Chris looked at me with a scowl and said, “dude, I can’t believe you’re telling lies about me like that. Why would I ever sleep with a prostitute bro? I’m an alpha pussy magnet.” I said, “whatever, fat boy, get back in the driver’s seat and get your sister to the hospital so they can take a look at her.”
Begrudgingly, he got up from where he sat and got to the driver’s seat, starting the truck up again and taking us off the shoulder in a tense and awkward silence. Not even the cries of “nani? Baka!” serenaded us as we went down the road, the gravitas of such a situation apparent to even one poopycum man who was otherwise oblivious about everything. We rode for about an hour before we finally came off the interstate on the of Amarillo, and Chris drove us into a hospital. Christina got up from the back and sullenly walked towards the hospital entrance while Chris and I sat there in quiet.
We exchanged a look between each other, a silent, “so what do we do now,” before Chris mumbled, “I guess I’ll call in to dispatch and let them know what’s going on.” I replied that that would be the best, and so Chris picked up the radio receiver and Chris told dispatch, verbatim, “hey, uh, dispatch, this is Chris, and we’ve had to stop at a hospital. I guess my sister found one of my cum socks and used it to masturbate and now she needs to get checked out because she’s worried about STDs or something.” The line crackled in awkward silence. I tried not to cackle with laughter. He could have stopped at “I had to drop my sister off at the hospital” and that was that. Well, it took about a minute to get a response. I’m sure dispatch was wondering just what the Hell Chris was even talking about, and trying to come to terms with that awkward sentence he had given them. Eventually, dispatch got back to us. They wanted to know how long we would be. Chris said there was no current ETA at the moment.
Eventually, we were told to sit tight, and Chris and I sat back in the truck, letting the hours whittle away while we waited for Christina to get checked out. He was a man of few words then, just repeating to himself, “I can’t believe this happened,” and “god, my sister is such a stupid slut.” I couldn’t disagree on either of those points, of course, and so I held my tongue too. We must have sat in that lot for several hours, before Chris shot upright and yelled, “it’s not fair!”
I didn’t reply. Something was bothering the big guy, obviously, and I wasn’t about to invite it out of him because I didn’t give a damn. He launched into a rant about how he never wanted to take his stupid sister out on the road anyway because women don’t know how to drive trucks and she was a disgusting beast who shouldn’t have masturbated with his laundry and now he was gonna be late for the drop off which was eating into his time for roaming the lots looking for drugs and lizards. All these things were true, but like I said, the last thing I wanted to do was encourage him. When finally he tuckered himself out with all his whining and complaining, he collapsed into the driver’s seat once again in sullen silence. I have anticipated for him to start up, again. Quietly, he mumbled, “so, do you think she’s gonna keep it?”
I was mortified at the thought. Another hour passed in awkward silence before we could see Christina come barreling down the parking lot towards the truck. When she hoisted herself into the cab, the truck lurched under her weight and she came in, sullen faced and more disturbed than ever. I didn’t ask her what happened, but Chris was eager to know. The short summary is that the hospital gave her something called prep, which is basically a medicine to guard against HIV infection, and a morning after pill for her to take on her own time. When Chris heard the mention of the morning after pill, he started up, “so you’re just gonna kill our baby like that?” Christina loudly voiced what everyone was thinking. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Chris? Ugh, god forbid if anything even took root, of course I’m going to kill it.”
This precipitated a long argument as Chris pulled us out of the lot, shouting over his shoulder that his sister was a disgusting infanticidal sow and that it was morally repugnant for her to terminate the life of a small child, even, yes, if it was forged in the poopycum passion of a serial molester’s mistake. I let this get more and more heated, of course. I wanted it to end, don’t get me wrong, but at this point, I was banking on them becoming so antagonistic to each other that either Chris or Christina quiet and I could continue the night in relative peace. The good lord must have been listening to my prayer that evening, because eventually Christina shouted, “screw you! I’m calling daddy!” and she whipped out her phone to call her father.
She ranted into the mouthpiece that Chris was a disgusting subhuman troglodyte (accurate) and that he was also a gross pervert (also a fact) and that she didn’t think she could hack the trucking lifestyle if she had to copilot with Chris. Her father, doting on daddy’s girl, I can only assume, responded something, and she continued, “fine, I’ll be there in an hour.” She turned to Chris in a huff and told him to take her to the airport. My reprieve had come. Chris didn’t do that, though. He pulled over the truck, told her to go screw herself with a used splooge sock, and that she could walk home. Christina did get out of the truck, presumably to call a cab.
I never did encounter Christina again, but according to Chris’s reckoning, their dad placed her in another truck to learn under someone else, and my heart went out for that poor soul who inevitably was sexually assaulted by her discolored nipnops and yeasty odor. Thankfully, no poopycum child was ever forged by Christina’s spoiled eggs and Chris’s stagnant seed, either, because that, my friends, would have truly been an abomination against all that is holy. I don’t know if Christina got the clap or the herp or any of that, but my best is safely on, yes, it happened.
After she left, Chris and I were surprisingly sympatico for the next two days. I almost felt a debt to the poopycum man for saving me from his sister’s sexual wiles by way of his own disgusting degenerate nature, but I never expressed it. The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was approving of him jacking off in the truck again and giving him carte blanche to do so. We never spoke of her again, though from time to time, when I would walk through the yard office back in California, I would catch the odd wafting fragrance of curdling yeast and wondered if Christina actually did manage to get herself into a company truck. I would not be surprised.
And that, my friends, concludes today’s installment, but don’t you guys a worry, because even though the real world is calling my name, I’ll be back in the not too distant future with yet another story about everyone’s favorite opprobrious little cumstain, Chris.

Hi all, wondering if anyone managed to get some form of stutter stepping working on console for a ranged characters. Not sure about animation cancelling in d4 but move and shoot at enemies as you are kiting mobs around I believe is possible.
I believe I stumbled on a way without having to constantly twitch the thumbstick. It's also much more accurate to shoot back at mobs although I guess you do lose the ability to anticipate enemy paths.
I found some accessibility settings in the menus of d4 during the last trial period that would highlight and cycle the target for the "shadow step" (teleports+stab) ability although not having played enough to really get it down into muscle memory and ran out of time to experiment some more. It was quite promising since it allowed you to auto lock and change targets as you run and then cast in that direction while running which is amazing.
In d3 I would bind "stop movement" to spacebar and time it to the max attack speed to allow a smooth run and shoot on rogue. Hoping someone has experimented with this as well in diablo 4 and can some more light on viability.