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Singapore Financial Independence

2015.02.20 07:37 kyith Singapore Financial Independence

A congregation of like minded people who shares how to reach closer to being financially secure, independent, how policies affect our ability to reach FI and different ways to manage our wealth for it. The focus of this chat is first on the process, tools and mindset to reach financial independence. It is less focus on the nuts and bolts on investing. To chat on Telegram: https://t.me/sgfinindependence If you cannot get in msg @kyith on Telegram

2014.10.06 07:01 Nudie Japanese Streetwear

Discuss the latest in Japanese fashion or seek advice. Brand and seasonal discussions, opinions, and specific questions always welcome.

2013.02.05 21:30 Football Cards

The official subreddit for NFL football cards and football card collectors!

2023.05.30 19:30 That-Green7872 Good hiking shoes for women?

Hey everyone, my birthdays coming up in July and I’m going to be asking my family for a pair of hiking shoes/boots. I love being outdoors and exploring, but I’ve never had shoes dedicated to hiking and walking around and don’t really know where to start. I’ve asked a friend for recommendations, but said he couldn’t give me any, as everyone looks for something different, and told me to turn to this subreddit!
I don’t want my family members to go breaking their banks for my gift (~$100 or less would be a price point I’d be more comfortable with them spending on me) and I don’t really know what brands to turn to for what I like/need in a shoe.
I want something with good arch support but is still nice and cushy with good grip, and not necessary but have some colors for funsies and a personal touch :))
submitted by That-Green7872 to hiking [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:30 ultimate_anonymous_ I feel like people think I have a great life and expect big things from me and I’ll never deliver

I’m a 30F. Up until last year, I was fairly happy in life - I had a good career, I finally found an amazing life partner, I’m attractive and I built a quality and supportive social circle and my friends are kind and smart people who I’m grateful to have in my life. I grew up in an extremely abusive family that I’m not in contact with anymore, so being able to take care of myself and have quality social life has always been important to me. But until last year, life was good.
Then I was let go from my job (my first real job after college where I worked for years) because I wouldn’t accept my boss’ sexual advances. I was devastated. I loved my job, it paid well, i had great coworkers, somewhat prestigious role, fancy business trips, I was truly happy there. My friends always commented on the interesting projects I was involved in, international traveling, and loved hearing my stories.
After I was let go, I became depressed. All my friends and my partner said it would be so easy for me to find a new job and that I have the huge advantage of being extremely likable, kind, humble (their words) and hard working… The truth is, for me my self worth and value is basically zero now. I don’t know if my previous career was successful because of my skills or because some asshole hoped one day he would have sex with me. I started therapy again, but I can’t force myself even work on my CV because I’m terrified of rejection and terrified anyone would just laugh in my face.
This is something only my partner knows. Other people just see me as this easy going, bubbly pretty girl who is always super positive and listens to other peoples problems… Only very few people know how I grew up and that I don’t have literally any family in my life, they think my life is so easy and even something to be jealous of.
I hate that this has happened to me. I hate that now I know my former boss wanted to have sex with me all this time. I hate that I feel so weak and like a loser while my partner continues praising me and telling how amazing I am and that any company would be lucky to have me. How do I know if that’s true? In the meantime, I’m living off of my severance, my savings and I’m getting more and more depressed every day…
submitted by ultimate_anonymous_ to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:30 KvK_07 Touching feet is a symbol of respect. Is it okay if I touch my wife's feet?

She gifted me a new phone from her salary she has been saving. I touched her feet after visiting the local temple on my birthday, where she gifted me the phone. When I touched her feet, people gave us looks. I was expecting this as a husband touching his wife's feet is not common.
But my question is, is it wrong as per the scriptures/texts to do so?
submitted by KvK_07 to hinduism [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:30 Alternative_Job_3298 Starting to get pissed off- feeling alone.

Hi all,
First time poster. Me (24, M) and my partner also (24, M) have been a couple for 5 years now. Everything is mostly fine, he's a loving, caring guy with a quirky personality and I love him so much.
He isn't ADD diagnosed although the signs are there (inattentiveness, easily distracted, lack of drive etc) and looking back I would say I have always noticed these things but have always passed it off as the "lazy boyfriend trope". I think I probably had the same misunderstandings about ADD/ADHD as most other people before my boyfriend starting to notice signs in himself.
I am starting to feel a bit alone in the relationship - sometimes it feels like I am mothering him as opposed to being in an adult relationship. I often find myself taking on the bulk of housework, organising life admin, car MOTs etc, which I don't mind because I am quite organised and like to have a daily routine. My partner on the other hand is the opposite. Everything is last minute, everything is a fluster, everything is distracting. I understand 100% that ADD is like this and that it isn't his fault although I am getting royally fed up of always feeling like the "bad cop" in the relationship. Any time I get angry after having asking him to help out with stuff etc I get the silent, sulky treatment and the "it's not my fault, I wanted to but couldnt".
It's really starting to FUCK ME off. The biggest argument we've had was this week. We are both PhD students and I am the one out of the both of us to receive scholarship funding. This needs to be reapplied for every year and thus far I have had it twice and have just resubmitted my application again. My boyf is also a PhD (different subject) and is currently being funded by his parents. The application deadline is tomorrow and has been open since January. I submitted my application a month ago. After not being successful last year after pulling an all nighter and attempting to do it then he promised that this year he would start extra early because he knew it would take him a while.
Lo and hehold it is the night before and he hasn't done it! It has a deadline that closes at noon tomorrow and he hasn't even started it. I came home from the office to find him asleep (he has no issue playing video games until the early hours or socialising with his friends - who all also have ADD/HD). I ask him how his application went. When he told me he hasn't done it and has a meeting with his supervisor at 11am tomorrow to discuss it I really lost my lid. I am so fucking angry it's unbelievable. This is the second year in a row he has fucked himself over. After asking him how he will write an application in a hour tomorrow morning he tells me "oh I've done some I need my tutor to read it so I can restructure it". It's like he has no awareness how important this is for him. His tutor often runs late so I cannot fathom how he thinks he can get this done in an hour.
And again I am now the bad one. I am the one who has "lost his lid" and who has shouted and gotten angry. I'm the one who has gotten the sulky treatment and being told "I don't understand". You know what I really don't understand. I can understand the aspects of ADD but I cannot fathom recognising I need to spend longer doing work and start early and still spend almost 6 months not doing it! Even after repeated prompting!.
Socially he is really well adjusted and spends lots of time with his friends. He has hobbies and interests which he loves and is good at and seemingly never has an issue motivating himself to do these. His friends are nice, they're not my type of people and we don't have much in common but we get along fine. They all also have ADD/ADHD and lots have autism spectrum disorders (although lots of these are self diagnosed). His inattentiveness has definitely gone worse since he's began to identify his traits with ADD ( I am not saying he doesn't have it, the traits are there and always have been) however its almost now like he revels in the fact he has it. His friends as I said are nice people but they wear the fact they've got ADD/HD and are neurodivergent as a badge of honour, almost something that is their personality. I don't believe anyone should be ashamed of any disability or learning need in the slightest but I don't think treating additional needs like a quirky personality trait is helpful either (especially as I said lots of them have diagnosed themselves).
I have tried to get him to book a GP appointment for the last year. We are lucky that the area in Wales we live in is a small town but has a major hospital and young adult MH services. He can also be referred via the Uni. This is an online e consult where the GP contacts you and you then go in for a chat and a referral. Current wait time to see a specialist is around 4 months. He also has access to private insurance. Yet he hasn't done this which almost confirms to me that this is the issue.
Does anyone have any tips? I love him dearly, he's a great friend and boyfriend and I can't imagine him not in my life. He's kind and caring and doesn't displaying the emotional inattentiveness I've seen with other ADHD partners mentioning here. He's very emotionally intune with me and knows when I am down and is able to listen to me it's most definitely his executive functioning that is the issue.
submitted by Alternative_Job_3298 to ADHD_partners [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:30 Dear-Tomatillo6380 Need advice

Background and context:
I had a mentor who was a boss of mine until a month or so ago. I asked how he could help me about two years ago get into and start building a portfolio of assets. We started an LLC together and here are the order of events so far since inception (July 2021):
1.) Started an entity
2.) Middle of 2022 found a deal to purchase two Salt Water Disposal Wells in Texas. Around the same time I put some capital down for an oil brokerage deal through him. You buy from some crude hauling company and sell to another and take the arbitrage. We're also working towards being an LP in a trucking company with $0 capital down. The way we're doing $0 down is basically helping the purchaser structure the deal, who isn't financially savvy but knows how to run and operate a company like this.
3.) He convinced me that we should form an operating company and operate the wells. I suggested that we just hire a third party operator since we aren't PE's but he insisted on this being the way since he's done this in the past. We did this through the RRC of Texas and had a P5 operating number to manage the wells. Through this we needed an operating agreement so we got that signed. When he signed it looks like he crossed out every sections header. I didn't notice because he was the second signature and the one who shared it with the bank.
4.) I invest in a brokerage deal with him where the capital was supposed to return in 4 months.
4.) After a month or so, I wanted to ensure we were properly documenting all of the documents across the business, crossing our t's and dotting our i's per se. I did this and found 6 wells I had never heard of under our operating entity. I brought this up with documentation to him, he profusely apologized because it was just supposed to be a placeholder.
5.) I accepted his apology and the workaround was to get me off of the LLC, co-own a "parent" entity which owns 50% of the "operating" entity. So this way I had no liability in the operating entity but financial upside in the deal. Again, acting as a 'mentor' this is what we came to a conclusion of. It seemed fair to both parties due to the mishap.
6.) Around the end of last year he was threatened by the company that sold us the wells that they would take back the wells along with up to 1mm of damages done to the mismanagement of the property. They sent and addressed this to him since he's on file as the sole operator of the entity that operates the wells. I saw the letter because it came to our shared mailbox. Their claim was we didn't transfer the pit permit of which I had no clue needed to be done, and of which he didn't know because he doesn't know as much as he leads on to. Had we just contract operated this deal none of this would be an issue, but he doesn't give credence to that fact, just carries on as if the company that's threatening to sue knows nothing and that it would all be fine.
7.) He "handles it" and meets with the team who threatened that and talked them off the ledge. Or so he tells me. This has been where we've left that hiccup since.
It's important to note at this point which was 2 months ago I'm thinking about how can I separate myself completely from this deal. I don't think I have risk the way it's structured but I don't really know for sure.
8.) As. all of this is coming to a head, the purchase of the trucking business is potentially happening. Somehow the loan to purchase the business is trying to get us to sign a personal guarantee, I decline, instead my "mentor", the guy who's going to own the majority of the trucking business sign a PG. They send me the docs after signing, but the way he signed was as the entity that we own through our parent org and him as the managing member, so our entity and really him personally have a recourse loan.
9.) When I'm looking at the loan after the fact, the thing is almost predatory. Pre-payment penalty is the full interest and principal of the loan plus the maximum allowable pre-payment penalty. Not to get into it but this was not the structure we needed based on what we were trying to do. I call them out but they already signed it.
10.) I quit my job. I don't want to work with the guy anymore. Reminder is that I worked with him at our a day jobs and this was just side income opportunities.
11.) As all of this is coming to a head it dawns on me that I just want out and don't know how to. Is the best way to just approach him in our meeting tomorrow and say I want a $0 buyout, he can have the assets (or in my opinion the liability) that he has taken on, and I just want off of the entities?
12.) As I'm strategizing the exit plan conversation with him, I'm having trouble getting him in person to talk through how I'd like to be out of the business.
Long story short I need to solve for 3 things:
1.) Understand my liability with this loan that I did not sign a PG for but the entity that we are listed as owners of did (with he as a managing member)
2.) Understand my liability with the two SWD assets that the group threatened to sue him / the operating entity on.
3.) What should I do to separate myself from this completely, and as quickly as possible
submitted by Dear-Tomatillo6380 to legal [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:30 ThesisEmpty Petting Zoo Recommendation.

Single dad here. I was wondering if anyone has a good recommendation for a nice petting zoo place where me and my son (2yrs) can spend a good time with animals on his birthday. I'm willing to drive outside OC. I'm sorry if this doesn't belong here, I just want to make his birthday special.
submitted by ThesisEmpty to orangecounty [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 AviatoroftheSeas This Amy Winehouse dress

This Amy Winehouse dress
Have been looking for one for ages, where to buy one?
submitted by AviatoroftheSeas to findfashion [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 Gloomy_Discipline_66 Awkward Doordash Encounter?!?

So my house is set up in a way where I have a deck and then stairs that lead into the driveway. Every time a dasher pulls in I’m not sure if I should walk out to them/their car to grab my order or have them walk up to my door. I feel weird standing there watching them walk to me but I also feel like it’s creepy or weird for me to walk towards them & their car to grab my order. Maybe I’m overthinking but I feel like just sitting there while they walk to my door makes me feel entitled and snobby idk
submitted by Gloomy_Discipline_66 to doordash [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 Tight-Bad1897 Advice on refinishing a wooden door

Advice on refinishing a wooden door
Hey all, I’ve got someone who wants me to refinish their front door. I’ve done a couple jobs like this in the past stripping, sanding, staining, and finishing doors like this. I’ve never done one with this much damage. Im looking for advice on what to fill the cracks in the wood with that won’t stand out too much after I stain it. Also looking for general advice with the peeling and damage near the bottom of the door. I’m looking to do this type of work more often so I think this would be a great project for my portfolio and to get more experience. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.
submitted by Tight-Bad1897 to woodworking [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 AnimeAddict22 What's up with the Llama shop? (The X-ray ticket one)

So, yesterday, I bought the more expensive Survivor Llama, which was golden. It gave me epic and legendary loot as a guarantee, but then, after that, it was no longer golden, and today, it isn't. Why? Was it a one-time thing?
Note - Prior to buying that Survivor Llama, every Llama (of the more expensive ones) was golden.
submitted by AnimeAddict22 to FORTnITE [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 Brandonthegrappler The MSF Titanic. A sinking ship

I know there has been a long on going argument that the game is dying. Probably for atleast a good year or 2. If it is in fact dying at what pace is it dying? Is it a small leak that will take time for the ship to go down, and may yet be salvageable? Or have we hit an iceberg and have to huge a gash, and it's time to jump off?
As an optimist I would say it's more likely the former and not the latter. Week in and week out they continue to get bad press from the CCs that cover the game. All the various social media is flooded with complaints. From the outside looking in you could easily think things don't look good for MSF.
They continue to make the same exact mistakes over, and over, and over, and over again. Week after week, month after month, and now year, after year. Never seeming to learn from them, never changing thier ways. Botching releases, shutting them down as quickly as possible only to put it back up as it was. Easily preventable issues, and no steps taken to do so. Every patch bugs ignored, and more bugs added. Audio and video glitches galore. Characters not "working as intended". Not to mention non player friendly greedy release methods, and pay walled rewards.
Yet their are still a lot of us loyalists that despite all that, and all the bs surrounding the game have yet to leave. I know there are various reasons for people sticking around, but sometimes it amazes me that we do. Still it does take its toll on alot of players, along with life getting in the way. So there will always be a steady stream of players on their way out.
One thing for sure is even tho boundless seems to have tunnel vision for making money. With no shits given about the player base, or improving the quality of their product. They must be doing something right because they continue to make a lot of it. I think the 1 thing everyone agrees on is that if we want to force them to make a change. That is exactly where we have to hurt them.
I do think they can plug the holes and salvage the ship, but I fear they are to blinded by greed to willingly do so. We all know "spending strikes" don't work. I don't have any faith in any player voice movements, as they have already proven they don't listen to any outside sources. Go ask Tauna, or any other current or former envoy.
Which is why I suggest is this: Spread the word to all the CCs. Bigger and smaller ones, envoys or not. Simply stop making and posting content for MSF. Stop giving them free promotion good or bad. Stop hyping releases, stop doing anything to put eyeballs on the game. You complain louder than other players yet won't stop feeding the machine. I get its how they make their money, its their jobs. To that I say, instead of posting about msf spend that time and energy posting about other games. Every CC out there is covering more than one game. Make up the losses covering games by dev companies that deserve the coverage.
submitted by Brandonthegrappler to MarvelStrikeForce [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 enii_r Philosophical insights on Christian religion ?

Hello askphilosophy! I'm seeking your insights into various aspects of Christian ideology, specifically focusing on free will, the relationship between Christians and the human body, the fear of demons, and the evangelical zeal for converting others to their faith. I am w0ndering about this because I was scrolling on Doja Cat's instagram where she posts her newest tattoos with spiders, weird animals, and everybody in the comments claim that she is demonic and that anybody who follow her must be demonic. So I have several questions :
Can individuals truly exercise free will if God already knows their choices and has a divine plan for the world?
Why christianity places so much importance on the human body?
What can explain their fear of demons and evil ?
Why with the evolution of society and sciences some still believe in the infallibility of sacred texts?
Evangelical Christians in particular vow their life to "save" or "free" other people by teaching them thier opinions, why do they do that ?
Anyway, I have a lot of questions, I hope they are clear, you can provide me with some essays or philosophers who analyzed it, I am feeling studious today
submitted by enii_r to askphilosophy [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:29 LtPuffy Looking for a triple triangle frame for 6’ 3” rider, so probably 60cm. Where to buy? PFA

Looking for a triple triangle frame for 6’ 3” rider, so probably 60cm. Where to buy? PFA
Hello, I’m 191cm tall or 6’ 3”, and I’m looking for triple triangle frame, and ideally with fork, budget around 300€. Location: Europe, Baltic states, Estonia. (Used or new)
Context: I would like to get into fixed gear bikes and from trying to convert older road bikes I know that it’s not worth it in the long run and I will enjoy proper frame much more.
Are there any sites like pink bike that sell used frames, or maybe there are some online stores that sell new ones. Currently the closest one I found to my requirements is Polo&Bike CMNDR, but after reading some of the reviews it seems like the quality control is lacking.
Thank you for your suggestions and input!
submitted by LtPuffy to FixedGearBicycle [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 Free-Anteater-3405 European merch store t-shirt sizes

Hello everyone. I'm looking to buy the New Order T-shirt shirt in the European store and trying to figure out which size i need, and if the shirt is a slim or larger fit. Since i have very different experiences with ordering band merch online (usually its very large) i'm wondering if anyone has ordered this shirt here. I noticed there is a size chart at the US store, but here it starts at XS. Usually i need a size S or M, so i'm leaning towards S. Can anyone give me some size reference or tell me their experience?
submitted by Free-Anteater-3405 to TheNational [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 SmallCranberry9376 Lesson quality has seriously deteriorated and we need a change.

I've been using Duolingo for over three years now, and I find myself getting really frustrated with the banality of the lessons I get at my level. I get way too many lessons that require me to translate one SINGLE word out of a whole sentence, with that word being something stupid like "ah!", "no", or "golf". In Spanish, for example, these words have the exact same spelling as in English. This is a waste of time, to say the absolute least.
I also hate the new listening exercise that lets you pick between two words to complete a sentence. The two options are always so comically different that it's almost insulting. Yes, I can tell the difference between "nos" and "dos", thank you very much.
It didn't use to be like this. No exercise felt like a waste of time because I was always practicing something. I could use keys to skip over lessons that were too easy and make progress at a pace that felt natural to me. Now I can't skip over any single lesson (like, a 7-part lesson about buying a white shirt and wearing blue shoes and wearing a white skirt and taking off a white jacket). I could skip over the whole unit, but how would that help me? I still want to practice, just not grind the same two sentences over and over and over again.
I feel like they took away my freedom to learn at my own pace, and now I'm stuck with this stupid grind that doesn't even help me anymore. I want to be able to choose what to practice, this predetermined progression path was a horribly designed update.
Now, I'm not saying that these things are universally bad just because I hate them. Maybe what I find tedious, some else finds helpful and even necessary. The point is that this system is too rigid. You can't have a one-size-fits-all solution in this situation.
We need the lessons to personally adapt to our individual abilities, habits, and preferences. We have the technology for it, the kind of algorithms that are used for personalized advertising and video recommendations. At least allow for manual customization, like which exercises to have more of, which topics are more relevant, that kind of thing. Maybe I don't care about numbers right now and don't feel the need to learn how to say "5,794 hryvnias" in Ukrainian when I don't even know how to say "bathroom" yet. There's no sense in locking away certain topics behind an arbitrary progression wall.
Language learning should be fluid and intuitive, not rigid and tedious.
submitted by SmallCranberry9376 to duolingo [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 Nakmuay255 Price of living in Phuket?

Me and a friend are looking to go and train Muay Thai for around 3 months in the near future but want to get some estimates for the cost of living In Thailand.
How much would food cost a week with mostly cooking at home?
Is Phuket more expensive comparatively compared to say Bangkok l?
How much does it cost to party per night in Phuket?
Obs it’s gonna vary but some estimates would be really helpful
submitted by Nakmuay255 to Thailand [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 feel1nf1ne Did I (37M) make a mistake not moving to give things another try with my ex (31F)?

We met in the early months of the pandemic and the chemistry was like instant magic. I can honestly say I've never felt like that about anyone before; it was like the butterflies you get when you're a teenager and I had thought I'd never feel that way again as an adult. We just wanted to be around each other all the time. I've definitely had a 'soulmate' feeling with her at times; the chemistry, rapport, inside jokes, etc. we developed were just one-in-a-million. Yes there were occasional uncomfortable discussions/arguments and I felt like there was something off about our communication (I'll come back to this), but it was mostly good. Every time she would leave I would wonder when she was coming back. But after around seven months of being alone in my home together every day and night, I think the overexposure got to me a bit and despite how I felt about her, I also started feeling the same way I always have in relationships (bored and anxious and like I just miss my independence and being alone), so I ended things but we have never been able to fully separate from and get over each other despite almost three years now and several prolonged periods of no contact, a few big fights, etc. The butterflies haven't gone away when I think about her and I know she still has strong feelings for me. And mind you I am not someone who connects very easily with just anyone.
She moved to the US last year (I'm from the US, she's South American and we met in Mexico, where I still live) and at some point soon thereafter started suggesting I move up there to be with her. I did have some kind of epiphanies last year in which I realized I really did want to build a healthy relationship with someone and that it's just something you really have to work at and that I think it's worth working for. And naturally I considered her. But once I thought about what was beyond the surface of our strong chemistry/attraction and our laughter and affection, once I was able to look at her without the rose-tinted glasses, I saw a lot of what seemed to me like big incompatibilities and differences between us that were leaving me feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and even lonely with her. I started to feel like there wasn't really much below the surface between us. Oh, and another thing that I absolutely hate is that I realized all of this while we were apart and mostly communicating over text and I wonder if that had a big impact. Mostly but not always. Plenty of phone calls and voice messages too. But I digress.
What I'm leading up to here is that I realized that 99% of our conversation was just our fun fun fun and laughter and jokes and that I found deeper conversation/connection with her so frustrating and basically impossible, I think because of some major communication/personality differences between us, but I will flesh it out a bit. I have strong values/ideas around social/political issues, I like reading and thinking about lots of different things, I'm highly curious, I like having my mind changed, I like healthy, friendly debate and being challenged, etc. I'm anxious, an overthinker, and always trying to connect things in the "here and now" to something bigger, something outside of myself, something going on in the news, some bigger idea, etc. I'm highly sensitive and romantic.
And, well, I just think I have never dated anyone who is more the total opposite of all of that. I have probably never dated anyone who was so indifferent to everything that didn't directly affect her at that very moment. She just seems completely incurious about anything outside her narrow field of interests and seems emotionally limited or unavailable somehow. I am always trying to push the conversation in a deeper direction, not necessarily into a debate, but just taking it further and further, into things neither of us is an expert about but there's plenty of room for curiosity/questions/speculation, and with her, if it's not directly related to what movie or TV show we're watching or something that happened to us today (or if you start at those topics and try to go in a deeper direction), it just falls completely flat. She makes a joke or sends a funny sticker or otherwise shuts the conversation down.
In fact I have probably never dated anyone who has such big issues with communication. Any challenging discussion, argument, etc with her was really difficult and it felt almost impossible to actually have a back and forth with her; it was like my words just didn't penetrate, like she would respond to something I said as if she literally hadn't heard what I had JUST said, and I started to see how stubborn and set in her ways and in her 'narrative' of events she could be. There were other big differences too. Although she is far from the most materialistic person I've known, she is significantly more materialistic than me and her main driving value seems to be financial/career achievement, whereas I want to be comfortable, but I am never going to be fighting to climb the corporate ladder. Outside of the basic values everyone looks for in a partner like loyalty, etc. she is a very "status quo values" person who kind of passively absorbs the discourse/ideas "in the air" and follows social media influencer drama and whose own social media is just picture after picture of herself. I'm not trying to pass judgment or look down on anyone who is like this (I mean I still love her like crazy and am crying every day), I'm just trying to paint a fuller picture of how we're different.
So I came to have this overwhelming feeling that although she really did love me, and was good at showing it in her own way, she really didn't "get" me on the deeper level on which I need to be seen/understood. I was craving so much more depth, not just intellectual but also emotional/spiritual, in the relationship and it just seemed impossible. I found myself trying to change myself and water myself down, not try to connect on the deeper level, not saying this or that thing/reference/joke that I thought of, etc. so as not to feel bad about that and it was just such a drag. I still love her madly and I miss her, and of course I've been grasping and grasping for ways to resolve this issue within myself or with her, but I just cannot live like that. I just could not go on knowing that this massive part of who I am is just being completely unseen/unappreciated by her and it's just getting zero feedback or interaction. It was leaving me feeling so lonely and empty. I have often felt lonely in the wider world/with certain groups of friends in which I am the odd one out, and I just didn't know how I could take on that same role in my relationship? I know one person cannot meet all your needs but I think feeling like someone really gets you on a deep level and really sees/hears you and shares these fundamental things with you is a pretty essential need.
So I ended things for good recently and I think this time it was really it. I of course thought and rethought things after ending it again and tried to speak to her to talk more about these differences, but she is not speaking to me. So of course I am still doubting the hell out of myself. I've kept grasping for possible ways to go deeper with her in all these ways I've discussed, or just maybe help her "get" me more somehow, but it seems impossible. Not right before me but I think within a year of meeting me she got out of a horrible relationship with a guy who treated her like dogshit for years. I find myself wondering how/how much he damaged her, maybe she was totally different before meeting him :( and he destroyed her confidence or something. I also think she might just need to do some maturing and get some more life experience. But I dunno. Sometimes it's just the way you are and it won't change. My struggle now is just silencing these "what if" thoughts and moving on. But would like to know what people here think. Did I make a mistake? Is that amazing chemistry worth shoving all that other stuff to the back of my mind? Should I just get a large part of my emotional/spiritual and all of my intellectual needs met elsewhere? Was it maybe possible for her to grow a bit after a few years with me? Should I just fly to where she is and beg her for a conversation? And then what the hell do I say?? My gut tells me something different every hour. But I have noticed that the more I take care of myself and have good, productive, clean days, the more my gut says I did the right thing.
**TL;DR I had what feels like once-in-a-lifetime chemistry with someone but upon deeper reflection, I've come to believe we aren't a good match. I ended it but am afraid it was the wrong thing to do because maybe we just needed more time together to build on our relationship and better understand each other.**Thanks in advance for your time in reading and commenting.
submitted by feel1nf1ne to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 throwawayacc0620 My grandma treats me like I'm invisible

I (20F) don't live with my parents due to them never really wanting to raise me ever. I cut my Mom off and she moved out of state with some random guy and when she saw my brother at the store (when she was here) she walked by him like he was a stranger so yeah she's not there.
I decided to live with my grandma at 17 so I've been here for a bit, we were close we'd laugh together, when I came out to her she cried and told me she loved me so much and to never hide myself. But then my aunt (30F) decided to have a baby after my uncle (Dad's brother) and I said we don't need another dog as she already has 2 and 2 cats. Her words were when she announced, "we couldn't get a dog so we had a baby" (her and my other uncle).
Now I want to state before I go forward that I love my cousin (1F) and I always will, I will NEVER hold this against her as this is not her fault, she's a kid, and I will NEVER make this her problem, she deserves to have a good cousin.
My grandma has since been literally obsessed with her, she always asks where the baby is and goes there immediately. She asked where "the girls" were this morning and when I was talking I said "outside, anyways" and she just left. Didn't let me finish and fucking left. When she's holding her she's always like "oh I never got to see you or your brother a lot as a baby". I'm sorry my parents suck I get it believe me I know. She's done this with my aunt too in the past, lots of vacations people were upset cause she'd ask "where's aunt's name" and immediately follows her.
I understand she's excited to have a baby in the house, so am I, I love her very much. But she's made me feel invisible
TLDR;My grandma always follows where my cousin goes, and has left conversations to do so
submitted by throwawayacc0620 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 PurpleSolitudes Best RAM For Gaming in USA Available on Amazon

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submitted by PurpleSolitudes to gamingshopus [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:28 ThrowRA-shh Becoming increasingly uncomfortable with my [34F] spouse’s [28M] poor habits and differences

My [34F] partner [28M] and I got married last summer. In retrospect, I should have considered at much greater lengths if I could handle our differences, asked more questions about his anxieties, and I think he should have been more forthcoming about some habits and anxieties as well.
My partner has a lot of anxieties and insecurities related to body image, sex, change, instability, responsibilities, etc. Some of them seem less unusual, others are very personal and deep rooted (with some related to past traumas).
My partner loves me so much but has a lot of trouble working on his anxieties. He is going to therapy, not always consistently but more so lately, and has plans to see a psychiatrist and explore whether medication might be worth a try.
I have my own anxieties, mostly related to health (although this is mostly under control) and my living situation, quality of life. I also go to therapy, but not very consistently, as my anxieties haven’t posed much of an issue in a long time.
I care about my partner a lot but do not feel equipped to deal with some of our differences. He lacks consistent routine hygiene (showering - previously as little as less than once a week, brushing his teeth - previously as little as once or twice a month, although these have been improving with my consistent advice and reframing that it’s good for his health).
We often barely have sex. Sometimes as little as once every 3 or 4 months. He has a lot of anxiety around this due to past traumas he says, but he also had multiple sexual partners he saw occasionally during the same period of time for months before we met, so I’m somewhat confused by this. His poor hygiene also makes sex feel pretty gross to me. His breath, his genitals, and his feet all often have odors that leave me feeling quite repulsed.
Our standards on cleanliness around our living space and our overall style is quite different. He loves having a lot of things he likes around him (posters and other decor taking up entire walls with very little space between any of them), string lights in just about every room, all of these being stapled into the walls, his work area in disarray, drinking right out of bottles or the juice out of condiment jars, stapling rugs into the carpeted flooring, the list can go on and on.
For perspective, I like a fairly minimal and thoughtfully curated environment for myself. I am not obsessively tidy, but I like to stay on top of things and rarely leave much of a mess around. I get overwhelmed very easily when my home is cluttered and disorganized and has messes that feel out of hand.
I knew we were different but I feel like I was a bit blinded by romance and not nearly as diligent with myself as I should have been in really understanding our differences and what I could handle. For his part, he goes between telling me things like he is working on it and wants to be more like how I am in some ways and saying this is just how he is.
I felt like I was happier before we were together, sadly. I feel like he’s a very loving person who cares deeply for those close to him but that we just don’t align in some key ways and I’m struggling to see if we ever will. He has made improvements, but the progress feels slow for my standards (I recognize it probably isn’t slow by his own standards), and I worry that the only way he’ll consistently make these improvements is when I tell him about them and why I feel they are healthier for him. I don’t want to be with someone who is changing, even if for the positive, because of me. I think people should change because they want to for themselves. I don’t feel like that’s the case for him unfortunately.
He does do a lot of good for me. He is affectionate and gives me small gifts by surprise and cooks meals for us regularly. He’s not great at handling his work or his finances or not constantly owing me money because of this. He’s not very motivated, and I’m sure it has something to do with anxiety or depression or both. He’s constantly worried about his body image, has a past of eating disorders and still seems to struggle with some disordered eating habits. He’s overweight but struggles to stick to healthy habits to improve this despite talking about it for sometimes hours a day to nearly everyone he comes in contact with.
I could keep going. There is a lot I haven’t mentioned, but I’ll leave it at this. I just feel at my wits end but nervous to leave. I know he’s a great person in many ways but I worry what my future will look like 5, 10, 20 years down the road if I stay.
How do I determine what’s best for me? I see his many strengths but his shortcomings are giving me a lot of anxiety.
TLDR; My [34F] spouse [28M] has deep-rooted anxieties and habits that have led to poor hygiene, difficulty with sex, poor lifestyle choices, etc. I don’t know how much more I can take.
submitted by ThrowRA-shh to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:27 Taxfraud777 How to speak with more conviction while having ADHD

Whenever I'm talking and have to recall something from previous conversations or happenings, I tend to talk in such a submissive way, because I'm never sure if I remember it correctly. I have multiple moments where my memory has served me well afterwards, but I can't help but to become doubtful of myself. Do you know of a way to learn to speak with more conviction? I thought of learning to just be bold with whatever you say and be fully aware that you might remember it wrong and crash and burn.
submitted by Taxfraud777 to ADHD [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 19:27 halconfenix about the lack or new regions for ver2

first thing first: what i'm about to say may be just a "crackpot theory from a fanboy", so if you dont like anything i said here, well... i wont stop you but keep it civil at least... after all i also was expecting something better than what we got in the headline.
the reason there is not a new region to explore with the new update is because SEGA wants us to focus on the creative space, in fact the fist hint they gave us was precisely with the new npc (Ashe is her name right?) and her quest where she said that while tinkering with the ryuker she "discovered a new region" to explore and stuff... so basically the CS island is the "new region"...
but let's be real here, once the hype for the creative space is gone (and i bet that's NOT going to last more than a month) we will... story wise, need to go somewhere, since as i guessed before in the near future we will not be moving away from halpha, and there's still Leciel...
so here's my crackpot theory:
so there... this was my crap crackpot theory... feel free to rant- discuss
thankyou for coming to my TED talk! :D
submitted by halconfenix to PSO2NGS [link] [comments]